You Are Worthless is the self-help book from hell. This bracing blast of negativity takes aim at the impossibly cheerful "inspirational self-help" books flooding the market and hits the bullseye, with chapters such as "Your Good-for-Nothing Friends," "Your Miserable Job," and "Life: What's the Use". This hilarious parody collects hundreds of tidbits of painful reality such as "You're no good, you're not great-looking, and you're going to die someday and it's probably going to hurt." Who among us isn't sick to death of the gushy, new-agey inspirational books that blindly assert that everyone is worthy? We all know the truth, and this book is as refreshing as a slap to the face. Just some of the depressingly humorous nuggets of truth include: * You don't really have any outstanding qualities. It's safe to say you're pretty much just like everybody else. * The only reason your pet likes you is because you feed it. * As you get older, you are going to have less and less control over your bladder. * If you take a big risk and follow your dream, chances are you're going to fall flat on your face. You Are Worthless also features a section called "Hopeless Role Models from History," including Helen Keller ("I've had it"), and Abraham Lincoln ("The only thing I'm good at is losing").

Alison Rumfitt’s Tell Me I’m Worthless is a dark, unflinching haunted house story that confronts both supernatural and real-world horrors through the lens of the modern-day trans experience. “A triumph of transgressive queer horror.” —Publishers Weekly, STARRED review “Easily one of the strongest horror debuts in recent memory.” —Booklist, STARRED review Three years ago, Alice spent one night in an abandoned house with her friends, Ila and Hannah. Since then, Alice’s life has spiraled. She lives a haunted existence, selling videos of herself for money, going to parties she hates, drinking herself to sleep. Memories of that night torment Alice, but when Ila asks her to return to the House, to go past the KEEP OUT sign and over the sick earth where teenagers dare each other to venture, Alice knows she must go. Together, Alice and Ila must face the horrors that happened there, must pull themselves apart from the inside out, put their differences aside, and try to rescue Hannah, whom the House has chosen to make its own. Cutting, disruptive, and darkly funny, Tell Me I’m Worthless is a vital work of trans fiction that examines the devastating effects of trauma and how fascism makes us destroy ourselves and each other. “Ambitious, brutal, and brilliant.” —Gretchen Felker-Martin, author of Manhunt Also by Alison Rumfitt: Brainwyrms At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Finally you'll be able to find acceptance in what a worthless person you are. You're Worthless And You Know It is a parody on the popular Self Help genera to become the world's first truly De-Motivational book. This satire will help you identify your personal worthlessness, learn acceptance, and ultimately how to live in harmony with your worthless self. Self-help books would have you imagine yourself as someone who's capable of limitless achievement. Sadly all that does is set you up for limitless disappointment when you fail to achieve anything because of how worthless you are. I want you to be happy as a worthless individual. You're Worthless And You Know It is a quick read and makes the perfect gift for all the worthless people in your life. Having said that it's small enough to leave under your ex's windshield wiper after you've superglued the door shut and slash the tires (not that I've ever done that or that you could prove it was me or that I'm condoning those specific actions). Author Will Jorden lays out such groundbreaking work because believe it or not he has a history of worthlessness. His writing is to the point, humorous, and informative. You'll hardly notice your self-esteem, confidence, and dignity dropping faster than your I.Q.

"Worthless" is the single most important book young men and women can read before they attend college. While teachers, guidance counselors and even parents are afraid to tell you the truth in an effort to spare your feelings, "Worthless" delivers a blunt and real-world assessment about the economic realities and consequences of choosing various degrees with a necessary and tough fatherly love. Don't lie to yourself. And certainly don't waste four years of your youth and thousands of dollars in tuition on a worthless degree. Buy this book and understand why it is important you choose the right major. The book itself could be the wisest investment you ever make.

With all the wit and brilliance of Chekhov, a distinctive collection of lyrical stories from Sait Faik Abasıyanık, “Turkey’s greatest short story writer” (The Guardian) Sait Faik Abasıyanık’s fiction traces the interior lives of strangers in his native Istanbul: ancient coffeehouse proprietors, priests, dream-addled fishermen, poets of the Princes’ Isles, lovers and wandering minstrels of another time. The stories in A Useless Man are shaped by Sait Faik’s political autobiography – his resistance to social convention, the relentless pace of westernization, and the ethnic cleansing of his city – as he conjures the varied textures of life in Istanbul and its surrounding islands. The calm surface of these stories might seem to signal deference to the new Republic’s restrictions on language and culture, but Abasıyanık’s prose is crafted deceptively, with dark, subversive undercurrents. “Reading these stories by Sait Faik feels like finding the secret doors inside of poems,” Rivka Galchen wrote. Beautifully translated by Maureen Freely and Alexander Dawe, A Useless Man is the most comprehensive collection of Sait Faik’s stories in English to date.

From the "New York Times"-bestselling authors of "You Are Worthless "and "Just Give Up" comes an even less-inspiring book for those past their prime, with advice from a sad and seriously inept marriage and family counselor who is one of Dikkers' most hilarious creations.

A nationally syndicated columnist and sales trainer shows how to convert "satisfied" customers into "loyal" customers. Includes real-world techniques, helpful checklists, inspiring stories, and thought-provoking self-tests.

Appearing barren and most definitely wild, the Chihuahuan Desert of northern Mexico and the southwestern United States may look worthless to some, but for Susan Tweit it is an inspiration. In this collection of seven elegant personal essays, she explores undiscovered facets of this seemingly hostile environment. With eloquence, passion, and insight, she describes and reflects on the relationship between the land, history, and people and makes this underappreciated region less barren for those who would share her journeys. "There's often little to this terrain, but to the author it's a beautiful landscape bursting with stories and wildlife, with big cities and small chunks of quietness found in few other places on earth. Tweit's essays have a pleasant style that combines history with personal discovery." —Book Talk "Sense of place is measured by one's awareness of the landscape and the extent to which it dictates thought and behavior. Barren, Wild, and Worthless dramatizes the aspirations, needs, and functional rhythms of life that are revealed and defined by this seventh sense." —Southwestern American Literature

In a tech-dominated world, the most needed degrees are the most surprising: the liberal arts. Did you take the right classes in college? Will your major help you get the right job offers? For more than a decade, the national spotlight has focused on science and engineering as the only reliable choice for finding a successful post-grad career. Our destinies have been reduced to a caricature: learn to write computer code or end up behind a counter, pouring coffee. Quietly, though, a different path to success has been taking shape. In You Can Do Anything, George Anders explains the remarkable power of a liberal arts education - and the ways it can open the door to thousands of cutting-edge jobs every week. The key insight: curiosity, creativity, and empathy aren't unruly traits that must be reined in. You can be yourself, as an English major, and thrive in sales. You can segue from anthropology into the booming new field of user research; from classics into management consulting, and from philosophy into high-stakes investing. At any stage of your career, you can bring a humanist's grace to our rapidly evolving high-tech future. And if you know how to attack the job market, your opportunities will be vast. In this book, you will learn why resume-writing is fading in importance and why "telling your story" is taking its place. You will learn how to create jobs that don't exist yet, and to translate your campus achievements into a new style of expression that will make employers' eyes light up. You will discover why people who start in eccentric first jobs - and then make their own luck - so often race ahead of peers whose post-college hunt focuses only on security and starting pay. You will be ready for anything.