From the "New York Times"-bestselling authors of "You Are Worthless "and "Just Give Up" comes an even less-inspiring book for those past their prime, with advice from a sad and seriously inept marriage and family counselor who is one of Dikkers' most hilarious creations.

Beautiful early writings by one of the 20th century’s greatest poets on the 150th anniversary of his birth A Penguin Classic The poems, prose, and drama gathered in When You Are Old present a fresh portrait of the Nobel Prize–winning writer as a younger man: the 1890s aesthete who dressed as a dandy, collected Irish folklore, dabbled in magic, and wrote heartrending poems for his beloved, the beautiful, elusive Irish revolutionary Maud Gonne. Included here are such celebrated, lyrical poems as “The Lake Isle of Innisfree” and “He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven,” as well as Yeats’s imaginative retellings of Irish fairytales—including his first major poem, “The Wanderings of Oisin,” based on a Celtic fable—and his critical writings, which offer a fascinating window onto his artistic theories. Through these enchanting works, readers will encounter Yeats as the mystical, lovelorn bard and Irish nationalist popular during his own lifetime. For more than seventy years, Penguin has been the leading publisher of classic literature in the English-speaking world. With more than 1,700 titles, Penguin Classics represents a global bookshelf of the best works throughout history and across genres and disciplines. Readers trust the series to provide authoritative texts enhanced by introductions and notes by distinguished scholars and contemporary authors, as well as up-to-date translations by award-winning translators.

Grow old on purpose. This book invites readers to navigate a purposeful path from adulthood to elderhood with choice, curiosity, and courage. Everyone is getting old; not everyone is growing old. But the path of purposeful aging is accessible to all—and it's fundamental to health, happiness, and longevity. With a focus on growing whole through developing a sense of purpose in later life, Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Old? celebrates the experience of aging with inspiring stories, real-world practices, and provocative questions. Framed by a long conversation between two old friends, the book reconceives aging as a liberating experience that enables us to become more authentically the person we always meant to be with each passing year. In their bestseller Repacking Your Bags, Richard J. Leider and David A. Shapiro defined the good life as “living in the place you belong, with people you love, doing the right work, on purpose.” This book builds on that definition to offer a purposeful path for living well while aging well.

“A fascinating look at how scientists are working to help doctors treat the aging process itself, helping us all to lead longer, healthier lives.” —Sanjay Gupta, MD Aging—not cancer, not heart disease—is the underlying cause of most human death and suffering. The same cascade of biological changes that renders us wrinkled and gray also opens the door to dementia and disease. We work furiously to conquer each individual disease, but we never think to ask: Is aging itself necessary? Nature tells us it is not: there are tortoises and salamanders who are spry into old age and whose risk of dying is the same no matter how old they are, a phenomenon known as “biological immortality.” In Ageless, Andrew Steelecharts the astounding progress science has made in recent years to secure the same for humans: to help us become old without getting frail, to live longer without ill health or disease.

Join in on the fun (and funny) journey of getting older with this hilarious Dr. Seuss picture book—it’s just what the doctor ordered for new retirees, old souls, and kids at heart--and makes a perfect gift to celebrate birthdays and other milestones!" The Doctor is in...Dr. Seuss that is! Readers will laugh along with the parade of medical madness as an elderly patient is poked, prodded and ogled during his stay at the “Golden Years Clinic on Century Square for Spleen Readjustment and Muffler Repair.” Once again, Dr. Seuss proves that his sharp wit and colorful imagination are a treat for readers of all ages. A perfect gift for retirement, birthdays, graduations, holidays, and anyone needing a little pick-me-up after a doctor’s visit!

A child imagines being old with Grandaddy and joining him in such activities as playing cards all day, visiting the ocean, and eating bacon on the porch.

No-nonsense, wryly self-deprecating, and totally persuasive, You're Old, I'm Old...Get Used to It! unabashedly exalts the virtues of aging. Virginia Ironside wants you to know that getting old is a good thing-and not in that dreadful “sixty is the new forty” way. At sixty-five, she has no interest in pretending to be young and neither should you. Virginia celebrates all the “issues” that she and her fellow oldies embrace, including: • Talking about ailments (and the fabulous meds that come with them) • Grandchildren (the reward you get for not killing your children) • Wisdom (random disorganized knowledge you get to put a fancy label on because you're old)

For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow's wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'll Do Differently When I Get Old." Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical. The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way... In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’” Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding. Praise for Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: “Unbelievably witty and relatable, I alternated bursting into laughter and placing my hand over my face in horror thinking, Oh my God, is that me? I often say, at this age we have something young people can never have…wisdom. My dear friend, Steven Petrow, has wisdom to share in this honest, funny, wry guide to keep us young at heart, without desperately hanging onto our youth. I am buying this book for all of my friends!” —Suzanne Somers, New York Times bestselling author of A New Way to Age “Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old is an irreverent, funny, honest look at aging and all the things we take for granted as normal parts of aging. They don’t need to be. If you struggle with getting older and want to find a fresh perspective on lessons learned about what NOT to do as we age, and what TO do to stay young in heart, spirit, mind and body, read this book.” —Mark Hyman, MD, #1 New York Times bestseller author of The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine. “Steven Petrow resolved to do things differently than his parents had when he gets old because he wished they’d been able to enjoy life more. His solution? He created a list! In this book, he shares the secrets to living a full life regardless of our age. It's all about the decisions we make every day. My advice in a nutshell: Read this book and keep it handy.” —“Dear Abby” (Jeanne Phillips), nationally syndicated advice columnist “It’s never too early to imagine what your life will look like as you age. And as I once wrote, ‘We are not hostages to our fate.’ Petrow’s book will help you plan, think, and redefine what it means to get older—and even laugh while doing it.” —Andrew Weil, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Spontaneous Healing and Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Well-Being “Steven Petrow not only has a great attitude about life, he is wise about how to live it. Like me, he says we should embrace our one life 100% and not let a number—our age—get in the way of anything! Steven’s book will help you rethink the word “aging” and approach this next chapter with a positive and proactive attitude. Plus, this book is fun!” —Denise Austin, renowned fitness expert, author, and columnist “Steven’s writing feels like sitting with a friend—one who is unusually gracious, warm and frank.” —Carolyn Hax, author of the nationally syndicated advice column, Carolyn Hax Praise for Steven Petrow: "Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners helps gays and straights navigate the subtleties of the same-sex world." —People "Move over, Emily Post! When it comes to etiquette for members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community—as well as their straight friends, family members and coworkers--author and journalist Steven Petrow is the authority." —TIME "What could've easily become a novelty book has emerged as an exhaustively researched, essential resource thanks to advice columnist and etiquette expert Steven Petrow." —The Advocate "From having kids to planning funerals, Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners has most facets of gay life covered. Ms. Post would approve." —Entertainment Weekly "An indispensable refresher course...on what's proper in modern...life." —Kirkus Reviews

Did you suddenly wake up and realize you are old? How did this happen? Where did all your youthful health, energy, and beauty go? And what can you do to recapture it and revitalize your life? Nothing. You're old. From the New York Times best-selling authors of You Are Worthless and Just Give Up comes an even less inspiring book for those past their prime. One of Scott Dikker's most hilarious creations, Dr. Oswalt T. Pratt is a sad and seriously inept marriage and family counselor barely holding on to his rapidly retreating 40s. And he's out of shape, too. So he knows the pain of growing old. In You Are Old, he offers steaming buckets of wisdom crafted especially for those wracked with memory loss and other aged infirmities. * Dating after 40: good luck with that. * Ear hair: how did you get so much of it? * You're past your prime. Your best days are behind you. You're over the hill. Your body doesn't bounce back like it used to. It's starting to hurt a lot. Your back hurts, your neck hurts. Your knees hurt. You're arthritic. You have rheumatoid arthritis, chronic pain syndrome, Bursitis, shingles, hives, cataracts and ringworm. You're starting to sag, wrinkle, dry out and develop spots. * It's your choice: learn to navigate our serpentine, Rube Goldbergian healthcare system, or just give up and die. * Today is the first day of the end of your life.

Have you stopped getting your freak on and started getting your creak on? Do your hobbies now include 'napping', 'relaxing' and 'having a quiet one'? Have you found you've more in common with your nan than your peers? It sounds like you're OLD AF! Get out your fun slippers and sit back with this collection of hilarious quips and too-true quotes for the old at heart.