Bride of the Fat White Vampire

Bride of the Fat White Vampire
Author :
Publisher : Ballantine Books
Total Pages : 450
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9780345478610
ISBN-13 : 0345478614
Rating : 4/5 (10 Downloads)

Synopsis Bride of the Fat White Vampire by : Andrew Fox

After morphing into 187 very large white rats in the name of self-preservation, Jules Duchon is back to his portly self, a member of that secret class of New Orleans citizens known as the undead. Though he would like nothing better than to spend his nights raising hell and biting flesh in his beloved French Quarter, duty calls when an exclusive club of blue blood vampires demands that the 450-pound cabbie find out who is attacking its young and beautiful members. Adding insult to injury, he has to enlist the help of a former foe: a black vampire named Preston. What’s a vampire to do? Without the love of a woman to ease his pain, Jules isn’t convinced that his undead life is worth living. He doesn’t desire Doodlebug (she may be a woman now but Jules knew her back when she was just a boy) any more than he longs for Daphne, a rat catcher who nourishes a crush the size of Jules. No, only Maureen will do. Once a beautiful stripper with nothing but curve after curve to her bodacious body, now she is mere dust in a jar. But Jules will move heaven and earth to get her back . . . even if it means pulling her back from the dead.

Bloodsucking Fiends

Bloodsucking Fiends
Author :
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Total Pages : 297
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781439191491
ISBN-13 : 1439191492
Rating : 4/5 (91 Downloads)

Synopsis Bloodsucking Fiends by : Christopher Moore

Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life—and afterlife—in ways he never thought possible.

Fat Vampire

Fat Vampire
Author :
Publisher : Harper Collins
Total Pages : 340
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9780061970306
ISBN-13 : 0061970301
Rating : 4/5 (06 Downloads)

Synopsis Fat Vampire by : Adam Rex

After being bitten by a vampire, not only is fifteen-year-old Doug doomed eternally to be fat, but now he must also save himself from the desperate host of a public-access-cable vampire-hunting television show that is on the verge of cancellation.

Fat White Vampire Otaku

Fat White Vampire Otaku
Author :
Publisher :
Total Pages :
Release :
ISBN-10 : 0692225439
ISBN-13 : 9780692225431
Rating : 4/5 (39 Downloads)

Synopsis Fat White Vampire Otaku by : Andrew Fox

The long awaited third installment in the Fat White Vampire series of humorous horror novels. Jules Duchon and his vampiric family suffer through the ravages of Hurricane Antonia and struggle to survive in a New Orleans which is almost entirely depopulated. Where will they get their blood? Salvation comes from the most unlikely source possible - a trio of Japanese superheroes called Bonsai Master, Anime Girl, and Cutie-Scary Man. Yet that salvation comes with a terrifying but laugh-inducing price? the blood which the three superheroes donate has unpredictable effects on Jules and his family. Chaos ensues as Jules is transformed into a seven-foot-tall white rabbit, his wife Maureen puts on three hundred pounds, and his mother Edna becomes a vicious human/vampire vacuum cleaner!

You Suck

You Suck
Author :
Publisher : Harper Collins
Total Pages : 340
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9780060590291
ISBN-13 : 0060590297
Rating : 4/5 (91 Downloads)

Synopsis You Suck by : Christopher Moore

Waking up after a fantastic night only to discover that his girlfriend is a vampire and has transformed him into one, C. Thomas Flood adapts to his new powers while dealing with a dangerous faction of bloodsuckers trying to kill off all other vampires.

The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires

The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires
Author :
Publisher : Quirk Books
Total Pages : 408
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781683691440
ISBN-13 : 168369144X
Rating : 4/5 (40 Downloads)

Synopsis The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires by : Grady Hendrix

“This funny and fresh take on a classic tale manages to comment on gender roles, racial disparities, and white privilege all while creeping me all the way out. So good.”—Zakiya Dalila Harris, author of The Other Black Girl Steel Magnolias meets Dracula in this New York Times best-selling horror novel about a women's book club that must do battle with a mysterious newcomer to their small Southern town. Bonus features: • Reading group guide for book clubs • Hand-drawn map of Mt. Pleasant • Annotated true-crime reading list by Grady Hendrix • And more! Patricia Campbell’s life has never felt smaller. Her husband is a workaholic, her teenage kids have their own lives, her senile mother-in-law needs constant care, and she’s always a step behind on her endless to-do list. The only thing keeping her sane is her book club, a close-knit group of Charleston women united by their love of true crime. At these meetings they’re as likely to talk about the Manson family as they are about their own families. One evening after book club, Patricia is viciously attacked by an elderly neighbor, bringing the neighbor's handsome nephew, James Harris, into her life. James is well traveled and well read, and he makes Patricia feel things she hasn’t felt in years. But when children on the other side of town go missing, their deaths written off by local police, Patricia has reason to believe James Harris is more of a Bundy than a Brad Pitt. The real problem? James is a monster of a different kind—and Patricia has already invited him in. Little by little, James will insinuate himself into Patricia’s life and try to take everything she took for granted—including the book club—but she won’t surrender without a fight in this blood-soaked tale of neighborly kindness gone wrong.

Fat White Vampire Blues

Fat White Vampire Blues
Author :
Publisher : National Geographic Books
Total Pages : 0
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9780345463333
ISBN-13 : 0345463331
Rating : 4/5 (33 Downloads)

Synopsis Fat White Vampire Blues by : Andrew Fox

He’s undead, overweight, and can’t get a date Vampire, nosferatu, creature of the night—whatever you call him—Jules Duchon has lived (so to speak) in New Orleans far longer than there have been drunk coeds on Bourbon Street. Weighing in at a whopping four hundred and fifty pounds, swelled up on the sweet, rich blood of people who consume the fattiest diet in the world, Jules is thankful he can’t see his reflection in a mirror. When he turns into a bat, he can’t get his big ol’ butt off the ground. What’s worse, after more than a century of being undead, he’s watched his neighborhood truly go to hell—and now, a new vampire is looking to drive him out altogether. See, Jules had always been an equal opportunity kind of vampire. And while he would admit that the blood of a black woman is sweeter than the blood of a white man, Jules never drank more than his fair share of either. Enter Malice X . Young, cocky, and black, Malice warns Jules that his days of feasting on sisters and brothers are over. He tells Jules he’d better confine himself to white victims—or else face the consequences. And then, just to prove he isn’t kidding, Malice burns Jules’s house to the ground. With the help of Maureen, the morbidly obese, stripper-vampire who made him, and Doodlebug, an undead cross-dresser who (literally) flies in from the coast—Jules must find a way to contend with the hurdles that life throws at him . . . without getting a stake through the heart. It’s enough to give a man the blues.

God Touched

God Touched
Author :
Publisher : Lulu.com
Total Pages : 340
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9780557384730
ISBN-13 : 0557384737
Rating : 4/5 (30 Downloads)

Synopsis God Touched by : John Conroe

Chris Gordon is a rookie cop in the Big Apple with an interesting sideline - hunting demons.But after rescuing a beautiful girl from a demonic attack, he finds life stranger than he ever thought possible. Vampires, werewolves, shadowy federal agencies and a giant short-faced bear. And it's not even Halloween yet.

Perpetual Care

Perpetual Care
Author :
Publisher :
Total Pages : 262
Release :
ISBN-10 : STANFORD:36105131607207
ISBN-13 :
Rating : 4/5 (07 Downloads)

Synopsis Perpetual Care by : James Nolan

This collection of short stories, which was awarded the 2007 Jefferson Press prize for Best New Voice in Fiction, explores the milieu of what post-Katrina New Orleans residents have come to call the isle of denial--a resilient and intact sliver of civilization surrounded by a sea of devastation. Evoking the comic grotesque legacy of Flannery O'Connor and John Kennedy Toole, these pieces inhabit a variety of piquant souls, including a Creole spinster, a transvestite plumber, a gambler who makes prosthetic eyes, a food critic who winds up with a mouthful of his best friend's ashes, and a grief-stricken young woman who sneaks a clock radio into her boyfriend's casket. They share a common trait of perverse denial in the face of historic or private defeat. Each story provides a window into aspects of the city and its' captivating neighborhoods while tendering startling revelations on elemental themes of death, sex, and restoration.

Lover Revealed

Lover Revealed
Author :
Publisher : Penguin
Total Pages : 514
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9780451417176
ISBN-13 : 0451417178
Rating : 4/5 (76 Downloads)

Synopsis Lover Revealed by : J. R. Ward

Human police officer Butch O'Neal is allowed into the Brotherhood's inner circle, where he comes under the spell of the beautiful and aristocratic vampire Marissa. But O'Neal is no ordinary human, and the real reason for his presence is soon revealed.