Diploma Thesis from the year 2009 in the subject Psychology - Developmental Psychology, grade: 1,3, Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz (Psychologisches Institut), language: English, abstract: Compersion designates empathy and happiness for the partner on a relationship level. Whereas most people can be happy for the partner in a new job which satisfies him/her much more than did the old one, or for the partner meeting a good friend, a lot of people would negate being happy for their own partner finding someone else to love - and doing it. Compersion is often described as the opposite of jealousy, with jealousy being a more common reaction to the partner meeting a new love. The term compersion has been discovered within the American polyamory movement which subcribes to a relationship orientation that includes several intimate, consensual, responsible, and long-term relationships in which all relationship partners know of one another and/or are familiar with each other. In our time, serial monogamy is the most common relationship practice. It includes exclusive relationship rights and agreements. It comes with the cost and benefits of letting the other partner be the "only one" until the next only one comes along or of cheating on the partner, if the love to someone else starts. Usually this new love is suppressed, because it is assumed that the old partners must part ways as soon as someone new comes along. Loving several people at a time is a taboo, which is why polyamorous people often face social marginalisation in everyday life, being treated prejudicially or ostracised. The relation between compersion and jealousy is an often dicussed topic in the polyamorous community as every individual perceives it differently. Therefore, a lot of equally valid and parallel views exist. Some, for instance, have had the experience of compersion replacing jealousy, some see it as a reminder of some deeper propensity in themselves or of their relationship being out of balan

In Love's Refraction, Jillian Deri explores the distinctive question of how and why polyamorists – people who practice consensual non-monogamy – manage jealousy. Her focus is on the polyamorist concept of “compersion” – taking pleasure in a lover's other romantic and sexual encounters.

A counselor and nurse specializing in polyamorous singles, couples and groupings, Kathy Labriola has spent many years helping people to understand and manage their jealousy. This book is a compendium of the techniques and exercises she has developed, as well as tips and insights from the polyamory community's top educators, therapists and authors. These accessible, simple techniques are designed to be easily implemented in the event of an intense jealousy crisis. They are even more useful if undertaken over a period of time before a jealousy crisis happens, to build a skill set that will be at hand to help managing jealousy when and if it does occur.

Unlike other books on this topic, Polyamory in the 21st Century weaves together research and facts to provide an informed and impartial analysis of polyamory as a lifestyle and as a movement, and to place it in a psychosocial as well as an historical context. Anecdotes and personal experiences allow the reader to develop a better understanding of polyamory and the people who practice and enjoy it. Anapol addresses the practical, the utopian, and the shadow sides of this intriguing, mysterious, yet often threatening lifestyle. It honestly addresses difficult issues such as the nature of commitment without exclusivity, balancing personal needs with loyalty to a partner, evaluating beliefs about love and relationship, the impact of polyamory on children, and the challenges that arise when one partner wants monogamy and another prefers polyamory. Without judgement, she explores this increasingly common practice, and reveals the true nature of a lifestyle that many do not understand.

Jealousy is a human feeling experienced by everyone in varying intensities, at different times and phases of growth. Frequently confused, jealousy and envy are often intertwined. Even within the psychoanalytic literature confusion persists and much less has been written about jealousy than envy. However, unlike envy, jealousy involves three entities and affects all people involved. It can be painful as other difficult-to-bear feelings (e.g. shame, guilt anger, hatred) underlie jealousy. Yet, total absence of jealousy renders a person less human, less relational. In analytic terms jealousy is a defense against emotional anguish. This book begins with an extensive overview of the nature, developmental origins and poignant cultural (especially poetic) allusions to jealousy, emphasizing that it is through artistic expression that a true understanding of this frequently deeply disturbing feeling is achieved. It closes with a thoughtful summary, synthesis and critique of the chapters by 12 distinguished analysts.

First published in 1999. Megan Boler combines cultural history with ethical and multicultural analyses to explore how emotions have been disciplined, suppressed, or ignored at all levels of education and in educational theory. FEELING POWER charts the philosophies and practices developed over the last century to control social conflicts arising from gen­der, class, and race. The book traces the development of progressive pedagogies from civil rights and feminist movements to Boler's own recent studies of emo­tional intelligence and emotional literacy. Drawing on the formulation of emotion as knowledge within feminist, psychobiological, and post structuralist theo­ries, Boler develops a unique theory of emotion missing from contemporary educa­tional discourses.

Few of us have been spared the agonies of intimate relationships. They come in many shapes: loving a man or a woman who will not commit to us, being heartbroken when we're abandoned by a lover, engaging in Sisyphean internet searches, coming back lonely from bars, parties, or blind dates, feeling bored in a relationship that is so much less than we had envisaged - these are only some of the ways in which the search for love is a difficult and often painful experience. Despite the widespread and almost collective character of these experiences, our culture insists they are the result of faulty or insufficiently mature psyches. For many, the Freudian idea that the family designs the pattern of an individual's erotic career has been the main explanation for why and how we fail to find or sustain love. Psychoanalysis and popular psychology have succeeded spectacularly in convincing us that individuals bear responsibility for the misery of their romantic and erotic lives. The purpose of this book is to change our way of thinking about what is wrong in modern relationships. The problem is not dysfunctional childhoods or insufficiently self-aware psyches, but rather the institutional forces shaping how we love. The argument of this book is that the modern romantic experience is shaped by a fundamental transformation in the ecology and architecture of romantic choice. The samples from which men and women choose a partner, the modes of evaluating prospective partners, the very importance of choice and autonomy and what people imagine to be the spectrum of their choices: all these aspects of choice have transformed the very core of the will, how we want a partner, the sense of worth bestowed by relationships, and the organization of desire. This book does to love what Marx did to commodities: it shows that it is shaped by social relations and institutions and that it circulates in a marketplace of unequal actors.