Diploma Thesis from the year 2009 in the subject Psychology - Developmental Psychology, grade: 1,3, Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz (Psychologisches Institut), language: English, abstract: Compersion designates empathy and happiness for the partner on a relationship level. Whereas most people can be happy for the partner in a new job which satisfies him/her much more than did the old one, or for the partner meeting a good friend, a lot of people would negate being happy for their own partner finding someone else to love - and doing it. Compersion is often described as the opposite of jealousy, with jealousy being a more common reaction to the partner meeting a new love. The term compersion has been discovered within the American polyamory movement which subcribes to a relationship orientation that includes several intimate, consensual, responsible, and long-term relationships in which all relationship partners know of one another and/or are familiar with each other. In our time, serial monogamy is the most common relationship practice. It includes exclusive relationship rights and agreements. It comes with the cost and benefits of letting the other partner be the "only one" until the next only one comes along or of cheating on the partner, if the love to someone else starts. Usually this new love is suppressed, because it is assumed that the old partners must part ways as soon as someone new comes along. Loving several people at a time is a taboo, which is why polyamorous people often face social marginalisation in everyday life, being treated prejudicially or ostracised. The relation between compersion and jealousy is an often dicussed topic in the polyamorous community as every individual perceives it differently. Therefore, a lot of equally valid and parallel views exist. Some, for instance, have had the experience of compersion replacing jealousy, some see it as a reminder of some deeper propensity in themselves or of their relationship being out of balan

In Love and Freedom, Jorge Ferrer proposes a paradigm shift in how romantic relationships are conceptualized, a step forward in the evolution of modern relationships. In the same way that the transgender movement surmounted the gender binary, Ferrer defines how a parallel step can—and should—be taken with the relational style binary. This book offers the first systematic discussion of relationship modes beyond monogamy and polyamory, as well as introduces the notion of “relational freedom” as the capability to choose one’s relational style free from biological, psychological, and sociocultural conditionings. To achieve these goals, Ferrer first discusses a number of critical categories—specifically, monopride/polyphobia, and polypride/monophobia—that mediate the contemporary “mono–poly wars,” that is, the predicament of mutual competition among monogamists and polyamorists. The ideological nature of these “mono–poly wars” is demonstrated through a review of available empirical literature on the psychological health and relationship quality of monogamous and polyamorous individuals and couples. Then, after showing how monogamy and polyamory ultimately reinforce each other, Ferrer articulates three relational pathways to living in-between, through, and beyond the mono/poly binary: fluidity, hybridity, and transcendence. Moving beyond that binary opens a fuzzy, liminal, and multivocal relational space that Ferrer calls novogamy. In this groundbreaking book, readers will learn practical tools to not only transform jealousy, but also enhance their relational freedom while being aware of key issues of diversity and social justice. They will also learn novel criteria to evaluate the success of their intimate relationships, and be introduced to a transformed vision of romantic love beyond both monocentrism and emerging polynormativities.

In Love's Refraction, Jillian Deri explores the distinctive question of how and why polyamorists – people who practice consensual non-monogamy – manage jealousy. Her focus is on the polyamorist concept of “compersion” – taking pleasure in a lover's other romantic and sexual encounters.

From the initial stages of trying to agree who can do what with whom, through advanced issues such as coping with logistics and seeking compersion, every relationship sooner or later confronts jealousy – and some relationships do not survive the confrontation. Between these covers you will find forty-two exercises with supporting text, developed by a professional relationship counselor and refined by hundreds of clients trying to find their own paths through jealousy. They range from basic (Exercise Two, Clarify Your Relationship Orientation) through challenging (Exercise Thirty-Four, Imagine Looking Through Their Eyes and Being In Their Shoes). All can be done solo, with a partner, or under the supervision of a helping professional, and all can be done before a problem emerges or in the throes of a jealousy crisis. Along the way, you will find solutions to the issues that bedevil even the most happily open relationships.

"The Jealousy Cure unlocks the positive power of jealousy for happy relationships." —Foreword Reviews "Solid counsel for those whose relationships are plagued by jealousy and the individuals it targets." —Library Journal starred review​ Could jealousy be a positive thing? In this groundbreaking book, Robert L. Leahy—author of the hugely popular self-help guide, The Worry Cure—invites you to gain a greater understanding of your jealous feelings, keep jealousy from hijacking your life, and create healthier relationships. We’ve all heard tales of the overly jealous spouse or significant other. Maybe we’ve even been that jealous person, though we may not want to admit it. It’s hard to imagine anyone sailing through life without either having feelings of jealousy or being the target of someone’s jealousy. But what if jealousy isn’t just a neurotic weakness? What if it signals that your relationship matters to you? In short—what if jealousy serves a purpose? In The Jealousy Cure, renowned psychologist Robert L. Leahy takes a more nuanced approach to tackling feelings of jealousy. In this compelling book, you’ll uncover the evolutionary origins of jealousy, and how and why it’s served to help us as a species. You’ll also learn practices based in emotional schema theory, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and mindfulness to help you overcome the shame jealousy can bring, improve communication with your partner, and ultimately make room for jealousy while also making your relationship more meaningful. You will learn that confronting jealousy in your relationship does not have to be a catastrophe, but can redirect you and your partner to build more trust, acceptance, and connection. We often feel jealous because we fear losing the things or people that matter to us the most. With this insightful guide, you’ll discover how jealousy can both help and hurt your relationship, and learn proven-effective skills to keep jealousy in its place. This book has been selected as an Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Book Recommendation— an honor bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.

The Many Faces of Polyamory: Longing and Belonging in Concurrent Relationships provides new perspectives on polyamory and the longing to belong in the relatively uncharted territory of nonnormative relationships. This volume offers a valuable and compelling account on how to approach polyamorous relationships from the clinical perspective. While there is no uniform answer, Dr. Fosse’s compassionate and discerning approach that combines relative neutrality, an open-minded embrace of nontraditional lifestyle choices, and skilful attention to countertransference dynamics is likely to be inspiring. Dr. Fosse exposes the dynamics of love, sex, jealousy, and compersion as they play out in lives of those interested in polyamory, and more broadly, consensual nonmonogamy. Her focus is on relationships worth having. With its nuanced clinical focus, The Many Faces of Polyamory will be an essential resource for psychotherapists, educators, students, and anyone inside and outside of the mental health field drawn to the intricacies of sexuality, intimacy, and how they are intertwined with relational satisfaction

Compersion can be defined as the opposite of jealousy. Hypatia, famous polyamorous blogger and inspirational writer, has intensively focused her research on this feeling somewhat unknown to most people. Through her careful research as well as her personal experience, she has come to the conclusion that compersion is within the reach of every polyamorous individual. However, this feeling of joy towards the happiness of our partners does not happen by chance, or without effort. Her hypothesis: Each polyamorous has specific individual needs that, once fulfilled, allow them to experience a solid and lasting sentiment of compersion. Hypatia warmly invites the reader on a journey of self-discovery to explore their inner selves to see what their essential compersion needs are. She also addresses the fundamental topic of how one can successfully support their partners and metamours in their own journey towards this liberating experience. Last, not least, she evokes the state of mind necessary for those who wish to develop, or integrate more fully, compersion into their lives. Controlling jealousy is great, but cultivating compersion is way better!

Beyond the basics of polyamory lies a complex web of negotiations, agreements, pitfalls and rewards. Kathy Labriola, a relationships counselor who has worked for many years with singles, couples and groups in polyamorous and open relationships, sets forth some of the realities of alternative lifestyles: dealing with some of the common relationship-disrupters, managing jealousy, choosing compatible partners, combining BDSM with polyamory, distinguishing between sex addiction and polyamory, and much more.

Peter Goldie opens the path to a deeper understanding of our emotional lives through a lucid philosophical exploration of this surprisingly neglected topic. He illuminates the phenomena of emotion by drawing not only on philosophy but also on literature and science. He considers the roles of culture and evolution in the development of our emotional capabilities. He examines the links between emotion, mood, and character, and places the emotions in the context of such related phenomena as consciousness, thought, feeling, and imagination. He explains how it is that we are able to make sense of our own and other people's emotions, and how we can explain the very human things which emotions lead us to do. A key theme of The Emotions is the idea of a personal perspective or point of view, contrasted with the impersonal stance of the empirical sciences. Goldie argues that it is only from the personal point of view that thoughts, reasons, feelings, and actions come into view. He suggests that there is a tendency for philosophers to over-intellectualize the emotions, and investigates how far it is possible to explain emotions in terms of rationality. Over-intellectualizing can also involve neglecting the centrality of feelings, and Goldie shows how to put them where they belong, as part of the intentionality of emotional experience, directed towards the world from a point of view. Goldie argues that the various elements of emotional experience—including thought, feeling, bodily change, and expression—are tied together in a narrative structure. To make sense of one's emotional life one has to see it as part of a larger unfolding narrative. The narrative is not simply an interpretative framework of a life: it is what that life is. Goldie concludes by applying these ideas in a close study of one particular emotion: jealousy. This fascinating book gives an accessible but penetrating exploration of a subject that is important but mysterious to all of us. Any reader interested in emotion, and its role in our understanding of our lives, will find much to think about here.

Explores the philosophical notion of love, and argues that love is more complex than conventional thought would have us believe.