In Love and Freedom, Jorge Ferrer proposes a paradigm shift in how romantic relationships are conceptualized, a step forward in the evolution of modern relationships. In the same way that the transgender movement surmounted the gender binary, Ferrer defines how a parallel step can—and should—be taken with the relational style binary. This book offers the first systematic discussion of relationship modes beyond monogamy and polyamory, as well as introduces the notion of “relational freedom” as the capability to choose one’s relational style free from biological, psychological, and sociocultural conditionings. To achieve these goals, Ferrer first discusses a number of critical categories—specifically, monopride/polyphobia, and polypride/monophobia—that mediate the contemporary “mono–poly wars,” that is, the predicament of mutual competition among monogamists and polyamorists. The ideological nature of these “mono–poly wars” is demonstrated through a review of available empirical literature on the psychological health and relationship quality of monogamous and polyamorous individuals and couples. Then, after showing how monogamy and polyamory ultimately reinforce each other, Ferrer articulates three relational pathways to living in-between, through, and beyond the mono/poly binary: fluidity, hybridity, and transcendence. Moving beyond that binary opens a fuzzy, liminal, and multivocal relational space that Ferrer calls novogamy. In this groundbreaking book, readers will learn practical tools to not only transform jealousy, but also enhance their relational freedom while being aware of key issues of diversity and social justice. They will also learn novel criteria to evaluate the success of their intimate relationships, and be introduced to a transformed vision of romantic love beyond both monocentrism and emerging polynormativities.

Compersion can be defined as the opposite of jealousy. Hypatia, famous polyamorous blogger and inspirational writer, has intensively focused her research on this feeling somewhat unknown to most people. Through her careful research as well as her personal experience, she has come to the conclusion that compersion is within the reach of every polyamorous individual. However, this feeling of joy towards the happiness of our partners does not happen by chance, or without effort. Her hypothesis: Each polyamorous has specific individual needs that, once fulfilled, allow them to experience a solid and lasting sentiment of compersion. Hypatia warmly invites the reader on a journey of self-discovery to explore their inner selves to see what their essential compersion needs are. She also addresses the fundamental topic of how one can successfully support their partners and metamours in their own journey towards this liberating experience. Last, not least, she evokes the state of mind necessary for those who wish to develop, or integrate more fully, compersion into their lives. Controlling jealousy is great, but cultivating compersion is way better!

From the initial stages of trying to agree who can do what with whom, through advanced issues such as coping with logistics and seeking compersion, every relationship sooner or later confronts jealousy – and some relationships do not survive the confrontation. Between these covers you will find forty-two exercises with supporting text, developed by a professional relationship counselor and refined by hundreds of clients trying to find their own paths through jealousy. They range from basic (Exercise Two, Clarify Your Relationship Orientation) through challenging (Exercise Thirty-Four, Imagine Looking Through Their Eyes and Being In Their Shoes). All can be done solo, with a partner, or under the supervision of a helping professional, and all can be done before a problem emerges or in the throes of a jealousy crisis. Along the way, you will find solutions to the issues that bedevil even the most happily open relationships.

In Love's Refraction, Jillian Deri explores the distinctive question of how and why polyamorists – people who practice consensual non-monogamy – manage jealousy. Her focus is on the polyamorist concept of “compersion” – taking pleasure in a lover's other romantic and sexual encounters.

Explores the philosophical notion of love, and argues that love is more complex than conventional thought would have us believe.

The Many Faces of Polyamory: Longing and Belonging in Concurrent Relationships provides new perspectives on polyamory and the longing to belong in the relatively uncharted territory of nonnormative relationships. This volume offers a valuable and compelling account on how to approach polyamorous relationships from the clinical perspective. While there is no uniform answer, Dr. Fosse’s compassionate and discerning approach that combines relative neutrality, an open-minded embrace of nontraditional lifestyle choices, and skilful attention to countertransference dynamics is likely to be inspiring. Dr. Fosse exposes the dynamics of love, sex, jealousy, and compersion as they play out in lives of those interested in polyamory, and more broadly, consensual nonmonogamy. Her focus is on relationships worth having. With its nuanced clinical focus, The Many Faces of Polyamory will be an essential resource for psychotherapists, educators, students, and anyone inside and outside of the mental health field drawn to the intricacies of sexuality, intimacy, and how they are intertwined with relational satisfaction

The Oxford Handbook of the Philosophy of Love offers a wide array of original essays from leading philosophers on the nature and value of love.

What is compersion? Is it the “opposite” of jealousy, as it is usually believed? Is it an emotion or a behavior? What causes it to arise and bloom? Can we “learn” compersion or invite more of it into our lives? Based on her seminal research with consensually non-monogamous (CNM) individuals, Dr. Marie Thouin unravels these questions and more in the first-ever book to offer a comprehensive model of compersion and a practical road map to cultivating it. Each chapter features compelling stories from real CNM people, making this a captivating and highly applicable read. In addition, Thouin addresses the broader social context, explaining how understanding compersion is a groundbreaking step toward a world that supports relational diversity and freedom. By disrupting the idea that jealousy is the only valid response to intimacy beyond monogamy, the existence and practice of compersion builds the foundation for a completely new paradigm of loving relationships. This book and its conclusions have profound implications for many fields of study and practice including psychology, sexuality studies, philosophy and ethics, and law. Indispensable for CNM individuals, therapists, counselors, and scholars, this book is also invaluable for anyone curious to learn about positive empathy, intentional relationships, and radical love.

“A fast-paced debut… A candid, modern take on polyamory for fans of memoirs and graphic novels, and anyone interested in stories of dating, love, and romance.” —Library Journal After trying for years to emulate her boomer parents’ forty-year and still-going-strong marriage, Sophie realized that maybe the love she was looking for was down a road less traveled. In this bold, graphic memoir, she explores her sexuality, her values, and the versions of love our society accepts and practices. Along the way, she shares what it’s like to play on Tinder side-by-side with your boyfriend, encounter—and surmount—many types of jealousy, learn the power of female friendship, and other amazing things that happened when she stopped looking for “the one.” In a lot of ways, Many Love is Sophie’s love letter to everyone she has ever cared for. Witty, insightful, and complete with illustrations, this debut provides a memorable glimpse into an unconventional life.

Contemporary relationships are in a state of rapid evolution. These changes can and should empower people with the opportunity to develop partnerships based on their own sexualities, understandings, and agreements. This makes it possible to create what Kenneth Haslam, founder of the Kinsey Institute’s Polyamory Archive, has called “designer relationships.” Designer relationships may encompass: people who bond emotionally but not sexually; people who agree to be non-exclusive; single people who have occasional lovers or friends with benefits; multiple partner configurations where long-term bonds exist among all or some; partnerships in which people are kinky and that make room to explore kink. The possibilities are limitless, and thinking about a partnership as something people can craft allows for flexibility and change. Relationships can open and close or have varying degrees and kinds of openness as circumstances demand. In the context of a designer relationship, decisions are made mutually, consciously, and deliberately. Best-selling authors and nationally known relationship experts Patricia Johnson and Mark A. Michaels are exemplars of this life choice, and have studied polyamory for over 20 years. This book explains exactly how you and your loved ones can design your own life and love.