THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER The side-splittingly hilarious and heart-warming new book from your favourite teacher duo and hosts of Two Mr Ps in a Pod(cast)

THE SENSATIONAL SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER A heart-warming and hilarious look at life in the classroom from the teachers who host the most popular UK education podcast, Two Mr Ps in a Pod(Cast).

An engaging, accessible introduction into how numbers work and why we shouldn’t be afraid of them, from maths expert Rachel Riley.

They never taught me how to handle this during teacher training at university. I work in a world with hormonal teenagers, inappropriate proposals, the full spectrum of bodily odours and the odd indecent exposure.” Ever wondered what life is like as a teacher? Or what happens on school or college trips? Perhaps you’ve speculated on what your teacher really thought about the students. Don’t Poo in the Pudding Bowl answers these questions and more! Including 34 real-life stories about teaching teens in Sheffield, this book reveals exactly what happens behind those school doors. Maxine Blake, a teacher for 37 years, takes the reader on a whirlwind tour of classrooms, school trips and student shenanigans, with plenty of awkward, embarrassing and laugh-out-loud funny moments along the way. From students escaping out of windows to conversations about farting pigeons, these stories will have you clutching your sides with laughter. Captivating, moving and side-splittingly hilarious, Don’t Poo in the Pudding Bowl is a must-read full of insights about the life of a teacher. Welcome to life in the classroom! A collection of short stories describing teacher/student interactions interjected with comedy moments, drama and of course teenage toilet humour. Don’t Poo, is a humorous memoir, collated throughout Maxine’s years of teaching. Perfect for your coffee table, bathroom reading or a dinner party conversation starter. This a great gift for those parents who ever wondered what their children get up to in and out of their classrooms whilst at school or if you want to re-live your childhood shenanigans with your friends. A reminder for teachers of what they’ve been through and more importantly, what is left to come.

Frank Chalk is a teacher in a fairly poor inner city school - a school where the kids get drunk, take drugs and beat up the teachers... when they can be bothered to turn up. He confiscates their porn, booze and trainers, fends off angry parents and worries about the few conscientious pupils. Terrifying and hilarious, IT'S YOUR TIME YOU'RE WASTING is Chalk's real-life diary from the front line of the modern edukashun system. This book is a real word-of-mouth title. Think of comic genius Chris Lilley's "SUMMER HEIGHTS HIGH meets WASTING POLICE TIME by PC David Copperfield! Frank Chalk is a pseudonym for a disgruntled teacher in an inner city school in the UK - "a school where the kids get drunk, take drugs and beat up the teachers when they can be bothered to show up". Just like PC Copperfield in WASTING POLICE TIME, it's blackly and bleakly humorous. It's the diary of life on the front line but in this case, it's in the modern edukashun system. Fighting apathy, Frank has to battle the tearaways, their parents, and he worries about the few conscientious pupils. He muses on the shortcomings of the staff (including his own) while confiscating porn and booze and even spots the odd spark of hope amid all the despair. The appalling decline of education in the UK is very much mirrored here in Australia and this book is perfectly timed for the "Back to School Year". Frank Chalk was discovered via his popular blogsite: www.frankchalk.blogspot.com Frank taught for 16 years in state schools. He left the profession in late 2005 while still in his early 40s, having grown impossibly frustrated with working in the public sector education. He now runs his own business and is no longer involved in education (sensible bastard!). He's married to a teacher (poor bastard).

A hilarious assortment of the weirdest and wackiest tales ever to come out of the classroom – and they’re all true. Featuring the flamboyant swimming teacher who spent his spare time fighting bears, the story of how a fight with his teacher paved the way for Al Capone’s infamous crime empire, and the bizarre tale of the American teacher who sued her own pupils for not paying attention in her lesson, this book is a real education. An ideal end-of-year teacher gift, this fascinating book is also a must-read for anyone who’s ever been to school. So stop talking at the back, pay attention and start reading! Word count: 45,000

Written and illustrated by Boris Johnson

No Sex, No Sleep tells the unvarnished truth about fatherhood. Forget about magic moments and bonding, this is about puke, wet-wipes and enjoying the sex life of a hermit. Pat Fitzpatrick wants to tell new dads what they can expect in the first few years of their child's life, and give them a right good laugh along the way. The book is based on Fitzpatrick's popular 'Dad's View' column and covers everything from buggy shopping, the labour ward, naming your child, bringing them home and dealing with the in-laws, to later issues such as choosing a school, time-outs, toilet training and much more. Written in short, digestible chunks No Sex, No Sleep can be picked up and put down as the mood takes you, and will make an ideal present for a first-time dad. It will also strike a note with any dad with small kids, or any mom out there who wants to know what their man is really thinking. Which is not much, other than I'd love to go to sleep for a month.

'A frank, funny and long overdue ode to teachers and teaching' ADAM KAY The malodorous horrors of Sports Day. Bracing yourself for Parents' Evening. Refereeing teenage relationship dramas... From the age of eight, Ryan Wilson dreamed of being a teacher. This is the inside story of his time at the chalkface, from fresh-faced trainee with grand ideals to exhausted assistant head battling ever-changing demands. It is a tribute, too, to the colleagues who befriended him and to the students who inspired him. Above all, it's about the lessons they taught him: how to be patient and resilient, how to live authentically and how to value every day. 'Hilarious, inspiring and so terrifyingly true' Lucy Kellaway 'Delightfully frank and funny' Jacqueline Wilson 'A hilarious love letter to teaching' Christie Watson 'Funny, sensitive and clever' Victoria Derbyshire

The heart-warming true holiday story of a little boy and the cat that changed his life. Julia’s nine-year-old son George was autistic. Quiet and withdrawn, he appeared lost in his own world. Then one day a small black-and-white stray cat appeared in her garden and George’s face lit up. George bonded with Ben and began to open up to his mother as well. For three happy years, the trio was inseparable and George made remarkable progress. But then disaster struck—Ben went missing and George regressed. The weeks turned into months, and Christmas was fast approaching, but on December 21, Julia got a call from a family more than fifty miles away, which finally offered a ray of hope... Genuinely touching, The Cat Who Came Back for Christmas is a story about devotion, love, and a holiday miracle, and is the perfect gift for cat lovers as well as fans of Lil Bub, I Am Pusheen the Cat, and A Street Cat Named Bob. Perfect for: • White elephant gifts • Animal lover gifts • Cat gifts • Gifts for cat lovers • Christmas gifts