I am an ex-convict, and have spent twenty-five years in prison. This is the only honest way of making a living which does not bore me stiff. The spirit of adventure is never stronger in a man than on the day he is released from prison. The theory that prison crushes a man’s spirit is all bunkum. One of the first things I did when I came out of prison was to look round for a nice genteel way of swindling the public. I came out of prison with the deputy’s words ringing in my ears, “I think you are the worst man in the world.”

The meeting of the worst person in the world and the ugliest person in the world has some unexpected results.

From the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of Things We Never Got Over "Newsflash. You don't buy me, a$#%^*e. You earn me." The bride is a doll. The groom is the perfect gentleman. But the rest of the wedding party? They're the stuff of nightmares. Rich? Check. Vapid? Double Check. Entitled? Not enough checks in the world. And the Best Man? More like the Worst Man. But Maid of Honor Franchesca takes her duties seriously. Kidnapped groom? She's got this. Rude attendees? You just watch her handle them. So a Best Man with a big attitude and an even bigger...checkbook? Yeah, there's no way she's going to let that pretentious, judgmental jackhole ruin her best friend's wedding. No matter how sexy he is. (Well, that's the plan anyway...) Aiden Kilbourn doesn't do long-term relationships. He's busy ruling the business world, and has yet to find a woman he can tolerate for longer than a month, two at the outside, anyway. Conquering the unconquerable is basically his bread and butter. And he hasn't met a challenge that he can't win. But Franchesca Baranski? This smart-mouthed girl from Brooklyn may just be his downfall.

USA TODAY BESTSELLER! "A romantic comedy that's fun and flirty, young and fresh." – PopSugar Named one of the Best Romances of 2020 by EW, Cosmo, OprahMag, Buzzfeed, Insider, and NPR! Mia Sosa delivers a sassy, steamy #ownvoices enemies-to-lovers novel, perfect for fans of Jasmine Guillory, Helen Hoang, and Sally Thorne! A wedding planner left at the altar? Yeah, the irony isn’t lost on Carolina Santos, either. But despite that embarrassing blip from her past, Lina’s offered an opportunity that could change her life. There’s just one hitch… she has to collaborate with the best (make that worst) man from her own failed nuptials. Marketing expert Max Hartley is determined to make his mark with a coveted hotel client looking to expand its brand. Then he learns he’ll be working with his brother’s whip-smart, stunning—absolutely off-limits—ex-fiancée. And she loathes him. If they can nail their presentation without killing each other, they’ll both come out ahead. Except Max has been public enemy number one ever since he encouraged his brother to jilt the bride, and Lina’s ready to dish out a little payback of her own. Soon Lina and Max discover animosity may not be the only emotion creating sparks between them. Still, this star-crossed couple can never be more than temporary playmates because Lina isn’t interested in falling in love and Max refuses to play runner-up to his brother ever again... "The Worst Best Man is rom-com perfection. . . Sosa has a gift with words that’s infectious and wry, one that keeps the pages turning in delight." — Entertainment Weekly

Raymond Gunt likes to think of himself as a pretty decent guy—he believes in karma, and helping his fellow man, and all that other good stuff. Sure, he can be foulmouthed, occasionally misogynistic, and can just generally rub people the wrong way—through no fault of his own! So with all the positive energy he’s creating, it’s a little perplexing to consider the recent downward spiral his life has taken…Could the universe be trying to tell him something? A B-unit cameraman with no immediate employment prospects, Gunt decides to accept his ex-wife Fiona’s offer to shoot a Survivor-style reality show on an obscure island in the Pacific. With his upwardly failing sidekick, Neal, in tow, Gunt somehow suffers multiple comas and unjust imprisonment, is forced to reenact the “Angry Dance” from the movie Billy Elliot, and finds himself at the center of a nuclear war—among other tribulations and humiliations. A razor-sharp portrait of a morally bankrupt, gleefully wicked modern man, Worst. Person. Ever. is a side-splittingly funny and gloriously filthy new novel from acclaimed author Douglas Coupland. A deeply unworthy book about a dreadful human being with absolutely no redeeming social value, it’s guaranteed to brighten up your day.

In this hilarious novel, written in the voice of eighth-grader Wyatt Palmer, Dave Barry takes us on a class trip to Washington, DC. Wyatt, his best friend, Matt, and a few kids from Culver Middle School find themselves in a heap of trouble-not just with their teachers, who have long lost patience with them -- but from several mysterious men they first meet on their flight to the nation's capital. In a fast-paced adventure with the monuments as a backdrop, the kids try to stay out of danger and out of the doghouse while trying to save the president from attack-or maybe not.

Author Tedd Levy's first book takes a direct, harsh, truthful look at the evil that is Donald Trump. It's a bumpy ride, but one full of insight, logic, candor, and just a little humor. Tedd's unique style, tone, and personal voice makes his book an interesting read. Tedd frames and presents his examination of Donald Trump as no one else has.From the book: "According to his first wife, Ivana, Donald Trump was never keen on bequeathing his name to anybody. It was Ivana who wanted to call their newborn Donald Junior. 'You can't do that!' Trump is quoted as saying in Ivana's memoir, Raising Trump. 'What if he's a loser?'""To compare the Trump Foundation to the foundations of other wealthy business leaders is like comparing Mother Theresa to a pick pocket. Donald Trump is a high-tech pick pocket.""Trump's conduct is on display to America and to America's children. When we assume the crucial task of building healthy children, we look to foster positive values. We teach our children to be honest-but Trump is deceitful, to be modest-but Trump is egotistical, to be kind-but Trump is cruel, to be generous-but Trump is greedy, to be respectful-but Trump is insolent, to be fair-but Trump is partial, to be compassionate-but Trump is coldhearted.""Let me see if I have this right. Trump says he kisses women without their consent. Several women say he kissed them without their consent. Trump says the women are lying. Got it.""Several other sources affiliated with The Celebrity Apprentice said during [Marlee] Matlin's appearance on the show, Donald Trump mocked her hearing loss and speech pattern and seemed to get a real kick out of doing so. They said Trump would regularly ridicule and disrespect the actress. He is reported to have repeatedly called her retarded because of her deafness and deaf accent. Pure, unadulterated, unbelievable, cruel, medieval ignorance.""Trump is said to have had a passion for Princess Diana. In 1995, Trump offered Diana complimentary membership in his Mar-a-Lago Club (she declined). After her divorce, Trump sent her massive bouquets of flowers. TV journalist Selina Scott, a friend of Lady Di, has since revealed that Diana had said that she felt stalked by Trump and that he gave her the creeps. In 1997 on his radio show, Howard Stern asked Trump, 'You could've nailed her, right?' Trump responded, 'I think I could've.'"Table of Contents: 1. Trump the Liar, 2. Trump the Bigot, 3. Trump the Hypocrite, 4. Trump the Bully, 5. Trump the Thief, 6. Trump the Braggart, 7. Trump the Crude, 8. Trump the Ignorant, 9. Trump the Religious Charlatan, 10. Trump the Philanthropic Phony, 11. Trump the Lewd, 12. Trump the Bizarre, 13. Trump the Ad Hominem King, 14 Trump the Narcissist, 15. Trump the Terrible, 16. Explaining Trump, 17. Colin, 18. Malala, 19. Marwa, 20. Miscellany, 21. EndnotesThis book is written with reverence for the all patriots who have helped develop and foster our remarkable American values.

OH NO!!! You found The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World! Well, since you're already here I may as well tell you about it... Poor Nameless tries to explain to the reader why this book is simply the WORST book in the whole entire world. Will he succeed in his noble quest? Is he the reason this book is the worst?? Will it have a happy ending or the worst ending ever??? The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World is a humorous and witty tale for young and seasoned readers. Whatever you do though, don't read it out loud! You may catch wind of these words: toot, stinky, booger, and booty. You've been warned, but you'll still want to see what happens next!

Wyatt Palmer was a middle-school hero, but that doesn't count for anything in high school. When a ferret goes missing in this hilarious follow-up to The Worst Class Trip Ever, Wyatt and his friend Matt find themselves as unwanted guests at what turns into the Worst Party Ever! Last year, Wyatt foiled a plot against the president of the United States and became the hero of middle school. But now he and his friends are in Coral Cove High School—home of the Fighting Conch—and Wyatt is a hero no longer; he's just another undersized freshman, hoping to fit in, or at least not be unpopular. Things start to go wrong when Matt Diaz, who is Wyatt's best friend but also unfortunately an idiot, decides to bring his pet ferret, Frank, to school. Through an unfortunate series of events Frank ends up in the hands of the Bevin brothers, who are the most popular boys at Coral Cove High, but are also, as Matt soon discovers, the nastiest. When Wyatt and Matt try to get Frank back, they concoct a plan to attend a party for the cool clique at the Bevin's waterfront mansion and stumble onto the Bevin family's dark and deadly secret. That's when Wyatt learns that some things are worse than being unpopular in high school. MUCH worse.