“Go on a date,” she said. “You’ll love it,” she said. She was wrong! It had been one year, two months and seventeen days since my last date. So my best friend Abby decided to sign me up for a dating app. She guaranteed that she could get me the best date of my life within one week. I didn’t really want to do it, but I figured what did I have to lose? Turns out that I had: 1. $500 2. My dignity 3. My patience and 4. My innocence to lose OK, so I didn’t really have my innocence to lose, but believe you me, Jack Morrison was my worst date ever. And I’ve been on a lot of bad dates. Trust me when I say that that was the longest ten hours and 33 minutes of my life. I never wanted to see or speak to him again. But it turns out you don’t always get what you want in life, because Jack showed up the very next day at a family gathering I was attending as a fake plus one. As you can imagine that was a real pickle, Jack wanted to know why I went on a date with him when I’m dating someone else. But he can’t know the whole complicated truth of the matter. I’m in a fake relationship and now I’m being blackmailed by the worst date ever. That’s not even the worst part. I decided to log onto this new app called “confession board” to seek some advice, but it turns out Jack Morrison is absolutely everywhere and he’s not going to leave me alone until I submit to his demands.

One day Jane was a comedy scriptwriter with a successful career in British TV and bright hopes for her future in Hollywood. The next she's stranded in La La Land, reduced to interviewing celebrities for British magazines.

Jennie has been a widow for two years. Her twelve-year-old son thinks it's about time she started dating, and so does her best friend, Angela. So with Angela's help, Jennie signs up to an online dating site. Within hours, she has several dates lined up for the week. Surely there will be one Prince Charming in the bunch. And if not, it's only one date, right? How bad could it be?

In Miami, where the sun always shines and the people are always fabulous, sixteen-year-old Hugo is ready for something more than school and hanging out. When he meets Glenn Elliot Paul, he thinks that, maybe, he had found something to look forward to. Hugo gets more than he bargained for, however, when he realizes that the man of his dreams is also dating his mother.My Worst Date is a humorous and insightful novel--an innovative take on the traditional coming-of-age novel.

An enemies to lovers boss romance During the day, I work for Dylan McAllister, the hunky billionaire who became CEO of his own company at thirty. He may be one of the hottest men I’ve ever met in my life, but he’s also the boss from hell. He has dazzling blue eyes that pierce your soul and freeze your heart. And he’s a known womanizer. I call him AB to my friends—Asshole Boss. He’s grumpy, demanding, and rude. And that’s on a good day. He’s definitely the worst boss ever. The only reason I’m still his secretary is because I have debt up to my eyeballs thanks to student loans and an ex that conned me into letting him use my credit cards. I’m counting down the days until I can quit and tell him to get his own coffee and lobster rolls. My calendar says that between both my jobs, I only need to work for him for three more months. You see, Mr. McAllister has no idea that his “mousey little secretary” has a night job just so I can quit as soon as possible. That is, until I end up at a bachelor party for his brother. And then the real drama begins … because Mr. McAllister can’t seem to get over the fact that his boring secretary also pops out of cakes.

"He spills out a pile of pennies all over the table, telling me he fished through the couch for change to pay for his big night out." From the guy who chews on rocks to the one who has his mom tag along, Awful First Dates is filled with hilarious, cringe-worthy, holy-crap-did-that-really-happen?! stories from celebrities like Lauren Conrad and Michael Kors, you'll laugh, you'll cringe-and most importantly-you'll feel better about some of the date's you've been on! •He ate an entire bowl of dip with his fingers. •He said, "I think we should hang out in the woods and just groove on each other." •About thirty minutes in, he paused, took a sip of win, and then said, "So, can we go have sex now?" Sarah Z. Wexler, a freelance writer, lives and goes on first dates in New York City.

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Lambda Literary Award for Bisexual Nonfiction Award Winner • A rip-roaring, edgy and unabashedly raunchy new collection of hilarious essays from the New York Times bestselling author of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life. “Stay-up-all-night, miss-your-subway-stop, spit-out-your-beverage funny.” —Jia Tolentino, New York Times bestselling author of Trick Mirror Irby is forty, and increasingly uncomfortable in her own skin despite what Inspirational Instagram Infographics have promised her. She has left her job as a receptionist at a veterinary clinic, has published successful books and has been friendzoned by Hollywood, left Chicago, and moved into a house with a garden that requires repairs and know-how with her wife in a Blue town in the middle of a Red state where she now hosts book clubs and makes mason jar salads. This is the bourgeois life of a Hallmark Channel dream. She goes on bad dates with new friends, spends weeks in Los Angeles taking meetings with "tv executives slash amateur astrologers" while being a "cheese fry-eating slightly damp Midwest person," "with neck pain and no cartilage in [her] knees," who still hides past due bills under her pillow. The essays in this collection draw on the raw, hilarious particulars of Irby's new life. Wow, No Thank You. is Irby at her most unflinching, riotous, and relatable. Don't miss Samantha Irby's bestselling new book, Quietly Hostile!

In this hilarious novel, written in the voice of eighth-grader Wyatt Palmer, Dave Barry takes us on a class trip to Washington, DC. Wyatt, his best friend, Matt, and a few kids from Culver Middle School find themselves in a heap of trouble-not just with their teachers, who have long lost patience with them -- but from several mysterious men they first meet on their flight to the nation's capital. In a fast-paced adventure with the monuments as a backdrop, the kids try to stay out of danger and out of the doghouse while trying to save the president from attack-or maybe not.

Don’t take the title as a metaphor: it really is the worst book ever. Governor General Literary Award winning children’s book author and illustrator Elise Gravel takes readers on an unexpected journey through the world’s most boring book. The story’s characters and omniscient readers alike quickly become annoyed by the author’s bland imagination and rebel against her tired tropes and stale character choices, spouting sass in an attempt to get her attention and steer the narrative in a more interesting direction. After all, you don’t even have to buy the book, but the characters? They’re stuck in there for an eternity, and they’re going to do their best to make the most of it, or at least have a little fun where they can. As the charming and bizarre true nature of the characters overpowers the dry attributes given to them by the author, this once blasé story quickly picks up speed, transforming the story into something much more unique than originally promised. With Gravel’s signature goofy characters behind the wheel, no silly twist or rude body function is off the table!

None of Froggy's friends are home one Saturday, so he goes on a movie playdate with Frogilina.