The classic irreverent look at the past—now updated with even more appalling facts! Fourteen billion or so years ago, the Big Bang exploded—and it's been downhill from there. For every spectacular discovery throughout history, there have been hundreds of devastating epidemics; for every benevolent despot, a thousand like Vlad the Impaler; for every cup half-full, a larger cup half-empty. This enthralling, enlightening, and devilishly entertaining chronicle of disasters and dastardly deeds brings to light the darkest events in history and the most abysmal calamities to strike the planet . . . so far. 88 BC: Mithridates VI Eupator provides an early example of genocide by massacring 100,000 Romans. 1347: Saint Vitus' Dance Epidemic shimmies across Europe like a deadly disco fever, leaving its victims twitching, uncontrollably leaping, and foaming at the mouth. 1888: Jack the Ripper stalks through the dark alleys of Whitechapel, England, turning the world's oldest profession into the world's most dangerous one. 1939: A Swiss chemist wins a Nobel Prize for developing DDT—and the environment gets another nail in the coffin. 2005: Hurricane Katrina devastates the Gulf Coast. In a classic double whammy, the government response also devastates the Gulf Coast. And much, much more!

The classic irreverent look at the past—now updated with even more appalling facts! Fourteen billion or so years ago, the Big Bang exploded—and it's been downhill from there. For every spectacular discovery throughout history, there have been hundreds of devastating epidemics; for every benevolent despot, a thousand like Vlad the Impaler; for every cup half-full, a larger cup half-empty. This enthralling, enlightening, and devilishly entertaining chronicle of disasters and dastardly deeds brings to light the darkest events in history and the most abysmal calamities to strike the planet . . . so far. 88 BC: Mithridates VI Eupator provides an early example of genocide by massacring 100,000 Romans. 1347: Saint Vitus' Dance Epidemic shimmies across Europe like a deadly disco fever, leaving its victims twitching, uncontrollably leaping, and foaming at the mouth. 1888: Jack the Ripper stalks through the dark alleys of Whitechapel, England, turning the world's oldest profession into the world's most dangerous one. 1939: A Swiss chemist wins a Nobel Prize for developing DDT—and the environment gets another nail in the coffin. 2005: Hurricane Katrina devastates the Gulf Coast. In a classic double whammy, the government response also devastates the Gulf Coast. And much, much more!

From the Grammy-nominated star of Saturday Night Live and his equally talented sister comes a delightfully cynical look at life through a half-full glass. I HATE THIS PLACE is the book for anyone who’s ever tired of crossing to the sunny side of the street, looking for that elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or reading self-help books that are meant to bring peace and prosperity. Guaranteed to shatter illusions, extinguish all hope, and keep the jaded and the disgruntled laughing all the way, it is filled with such daily “affirmations” as “If you don’t have anything nice to say, welcome to the club,” and advice like “Knock, and the door shall be slammed in your face.” Rife with the wit and wisdom of Jimmy Fallon and his sister Gloria, this book promises to tickle the funny bone of the pessimist in everyone.

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can usually download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1891 edition. Excerpt: ... CHAPTER XIV. THE SOURCES OF PESSIMISM. Having now completed our journey of investigation in the somewhat inclement regions of pessimism, let us review our wanderings so as to see what results have been reached. First of all, then, scientific and speculative pessimism has been found to be an unverified and in many respects distinctly incorrect doctrine. The attempt to prove that human life always is and must be an excess of misery shows itself, when looked at in a calm and critical light, to be a complete failure. On the contrary, an impartial view of the facts of life and the teachings of science properly so called has led us to believe that happiness, interpreted in a rational sense, is and has been attained by some indeterminable proportion of mankind. Even if, however, --which is far from probable--it could be made out that this number has been an inconsiderable one in the past, it is certain that human progress tends, however slow the process may be, very largely to heighten the quality of individual happiness and to increase the proportion of those to whom it is a possibility. And even if the existing order of things and human life itself are limited in duration, the conclusion is, for all practical purposes, too remote to modify the value of progress. As far as we can see, the world will move through its 'ringing grooves of change' long enough for mankind to raise their condition indefinitely, and to secure for themselves, and even in a lesser degree for the lower animals who are dependent on their protection, a mode of life which, though far from being a state of ecstatic bliss, will be held by sober-minded persons to have a real and even a high value. Now this conclusion appears to me to provide an adequate basis for...