This is the best-ever collection of those catchy Irish rhymes – from squeaky-clean to the moderately filthy. With over 2,000 silly, political, modern, classic, and more to choose from, there is bound to be a limerick to get you giggling. This giant collection includes Irish classics called out in corner pubs for decades as well as many new verses specifically created to be read here. Creators include Spike Milligan, Mark Twain, Michael Palin, Lewis Carroll, Isaac Asimov, Robert Louis Stevenson, Rudyard Kipling, W.H. Auden, and many, many more.

Surely it can't be done. But it has been done. For the first time in the history of mankind someone has been dedicated enough and fool enough to write a filthy limerick for every town in the UK which unlike Leeds or Devizes doesn't already have a classic filthy limerick to call its own. From Land's End to John o' Groats, The Great British Limerick Book has a filthy limerick for your town, for your uncle's town, for your cousin's husband's ex-wife's town .... as long as it's in the UK and as long as it isn't one of those few places that are really impossible to find a rhyme for. There are over 900 limericks in the book. A lot of them are hilarious. Most of them are very funny. All of them are filthy. Guildford, Surrey. At McDonald's in Guildford in Surrey, I spilt coffee on my crotch in a scurry, I had to act quick, To cool down my dick, So I stuck it into my McFlurry. Nuneaton, Warwickshire. There was a young man from Nuneaton, Who really enjoyed being beaten, And squeezing his knackers, With a pair of nut crackers, And riding a bike with no seat on. Bath, Somerset. There was a professor from Bath, Who employed twenty-five research staff, To measure size and direction, Of his every erection, And to plot the results on a graph. The Isle of Skye, Scotland. When I was on the Isle of Skye, I overdid the old Spanish fly, I had a stiff member, From the fourth of December, Till Friday the tenth of July. Ashington, Northumberland. In Ashington there was a miner, Whose wife was a fashion designer, One night to his shock, She dressed him up as a cock, And herself as a six foot vagina. Hackney, Greater London. As a chemist I worked once in Hackney, And invented a treatment for acne, But one ingredi-ent, Was semen I'd spent, And they thought that good reason to sack me.

This hilariously inappropriate collection of rhymes is sure to provide ammunition to use at the office or even at a party among friends. You'll never have to repeat a line from this collection of more than 2,000 dirty verses. Perfect for St. Patty's Day or any time year-round!

Five hundred American and British limericks are interspersed with anecdotes and historical comment

There was a young lady named Perkins, Who had a great fondness for gherkins; At afternoon tea She ate twenty-three Which pickled her internal workins! This book contains over 200 funny, non-rude limerick poems old and new, suitable for children as well as adults. Laugh at the antics of the woman from Chippenham, Wilts, who walked up to Scotland on stilts, the old lady of Rye, who was baked by mistake in a pie, the young man called McLeod, who played the trombone far too loud - and many many more.

Humor buffs and poetry lovers will laugh out loud with this captivating collection of more than 350 limericks featuring limerick legends plus renowned political figures, poets, and writers.

What do you get when you combine a poem and a joke? A limerick! These five-line rhyming poems are funny, silly, and sly. Award-winning author Brian P. Cleary explains how limericks work—and shows how these little poems can trigger big laughs. Something Sure Smells Around Here is packed with hilarious poems to make you chuckle and chortle. And when you've finished reading, you can try your hand at writing your own limericks!