Co-dependency—of which enabling is a major element—can and does exist in families where there is no chemical dependency. Angelyn Miller’s own experience is a dramatic example: neither she nor her husband drank, yet her family was floundering in that same dynamic. In spite of her best efforts to fix everything (and everyone), the turmoil continued until she discovered that helping wasn’t helping. Miller recounts how she learned to alter the way she responded to family crises and general neediness, forever breaking the cycle of co-dependency. Offering insights, practical techniques, and hope, she shows us how we can transform enabling relationships into healthy ones.

With more than 450,000 copies in print, When Helping Hurts is a paradigm-forming contemporary classic on the subject of poverty alleviation. Poverty is much more than simply a lack of material resources, and it takes much more than donations and handouts to solve it. When Helping Hurts shows how some alleviation efforts, failing to consider the complexities of poverty, have actually (and unintentionally) done more harm than good. But it looks ahead. It encourages us to see the dignity in everyone, to empower the materially poor, and to know that we are all uniquely needy—and that God in the gospel is reconciling all things to himself. Focusing on both North American and Majority World contexts, When Helping Hurts provides proven strategies for effective poverty alleviation, catalyzing the idea that sustainable change comes not from the outside in, but from the inside out.

Do you confuse being needed with being loved? Do you relate to others by taking care of them? Then you may be an enabler. The enabler protects others from the consequences of their actions. But by always taking responsibility for those around them, enablers hurt the very people they love most. This sensitive and insightful book, written by a recovered enabler, shows how enabling relationships can be transformed into healthy ones.

Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to? Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel you are "walking on eggshells" to avoid the next confrontation? If the answer is "yes," someone you care about may have borderline personality disorder (BPD). Stop Walking on Eggshells has already helped nearly half a million people with friends and family members suffering from BPD understand this destructive disorder, set boundaries, and help their loved ones stop relying on dangerous BPD behaviors. This fully revised edition has been updated with the very latest BPD research and includes coping and communication skills you can use to stabilize your relationship with the BPD sufferer in your life. This compassionate guide will enable you to: Make sense out of the chaos Stand up for yourself and assert your needs Defuse arguments and conflicts Protect yourself and others from violent behavior

Do you feel burdened by the unrelenting urge to always feel useful and helpful? Do you worry for others to the point of suffocating them? Or do you know someone who, knowingly or unknowingly, acts like ‘oxygen on legs’ for everyone in their life? This is what happens when as a culture, we are trained to deny our own needs and pay more attention to the needs of others. This can be extremely exhausting and self-violating. When Being Too Nice Becomes A Vice written by Nirmal Yadav, deals with the delicate subject of ‘the helper needing help’ in a precise and in-depth manner. It’s about taking our normal human concern too far, crossing others’ boundaries or allowing others to cross yours. Nirmal Yadav, a trained counsellor with an experience of over twenty-five years, through the course of this book, provides some eye-opening insights into self-sacrificing behavioural patterns and the excessive guilt surrounding self-care issues. She also talks about why it is important to help yourself before helping anyone else. This work ably guides and shows how we can transform the painful patterns of co-dependence (i.e. dependence on others and approval seeking behaviour), live a more meaningful and joyful life, and learn to love ourselves.

Based on the author's own experience as a parent with an addicted child, she provides straight-talking self-preservation tools and techniques for parents of addicts in and out of recovery. An essential book to help parents navigate this confusing and uncharted landscape—in the author's words, "Planet Paradox." Barbara Victoria is a parent who struggled with her own child's addiction. She has been active in Al-Anon for many years.

An empowering, practical guide to help the brothers and sisters of alcoholics-by a journalist and sibling of two alcoholics, and an addiction specialist

On her thirty-third birthday, Ashley realized she wasn't happy with how her life was unfolding. Heartbroken, riddled with fear, and feeling a lack of self-worth, she embarks on a journey to untangle what was holding her back, and discovers the steps she must take to move towards her true path—the path she is meant for. She gracefully confronts her truth, suffering, and heartbreak with laugh-out-loud humor and curiousness. This is a diary of sorts, documenting the fears that kept her from learning how to trust and love herself. Her story of discovery encompasses the complicated parts that make her human and the parts that helped her return back to herself, one tiny mad idea at a time.

127 More Amazing Tips and Tools for the Therapeutic Toolbox is Judy Belmont's third Tips and Tools book in PESI's bestselling series that has offered thousands of clinicians practical "hands on" strategies to help clients reach therapeutic goals. Judy Belmont's newest Tips and Tools addresses today's evolving needs, using techniques from CBT, DBT and positive psychology to help their clients and their practice. All reproducible worksheets and handouts will quickly become a clinician's best friend! Something for everyone, and packaged in a creative and enjoyable way! "127 TIPS delivers a wealth of ideas, skills, and exercises to apply and customize to a vast array of clinical issues and situations. Speaking to eclectic and integrative therapists (who comprise the majority of working practitioners), Judith Belmont taps in-demand and evidence-based treatments for their most practical interventions and teachings. Filled with psychoeducation, handouts, and worksheets for clients, active therapists will find TIPS to be a frequent and effective resource." ~ Lane Pederson, Psy.D., LP, DBTC, author of The Expanded Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Training Manual and DBT Skills Training for Integrated Dual Disorder Treatment Settings

Of course Christians have crisis! As human beings, we are surrounded by temptation, we all make mistakes and we all suffer with trials in our lives. Unfortunately, there are well-intended Christians who attempt to minister to those suffering or in crisis without realizing how their words of wisdom could actually be counterproductive and potentially harmful. This book is a resource for ministry leaders, parents, teachers, and caregivers regarding mental illness, chronic pain, abortion, abuse, and addictions. It also covers marital and family issues. There are facts included throughout the book to reveal the prevalence of each topic and listed resources to increase knowledge in those areas. Scripture is included throughout the book to provide solid Christian counsel through each topic. If someone came up to you today to reveal they are considering suicide or that they are addicted to porn or prescribed drugs, would you know what to say to them? What if someone wants to talk to you because they believe their spouse is having an affair, or a mother believes her child is being molested or bullied, or their adult child is being abused by their spouse? Would you know how to advise them? Are your words subjective? Are they productive? Are your words factual and scriptural? As a church, we need to teach that Christ is a loving and forgiving God. We need to have compassion for the misunderstood. As a church, we need to be knowledgeable of current fads, common problems in societies and families so we know how to respond to crises appropriately. As a church, we need to encourage a safe environment for those in need. We need to minister to people with open minds and open hearts. And we need to know when it is time to reach out for professional help.