"Joe takes you on a journey to a place known only to true lovers. Then he shines a light on the path to get there. I've read a lot of marriage counseling books, and this is one of the most challenging, practical, and helpful. This book will help you build or rebuild that very special sacred space for you and your spouse. Go to Joe's office where he will challenge you to be more than you have ever been before in your marriage." Ted Boykin Associate Dean of Students, CSU When it comes to marriages, too many people ask the wrong question. They ask, "Will we make it?" Relationship therapist Joe Martino wants people to ask, "Will we be glad we made it?" He believes that every couple can make it and be excited that they did. In this book, you'll learn: " A cogent definition for what communication is and how you can be better at it. " Four dangerous ways couples interact in their relationship. " Why conflict is your best friend. " A proven way to have more productive conversations even when you're mad at your partner. " How to discuss anything in a way that builds the relationship. " Three core questions that you both are asking and how to answer them. Each chapter is written in an easy-to-understand manner and comes with discussion questions to help further your understanding of the material. The Emotionally Secure Couple can be read alone or with your partner for a deeper experience as a couple. If you really want to take your experience to the next level, grab a couple of friends and read the book as a group discussion. For more information, study guides, and videos by the author exclusively for readers, go to www.emotionallysecurecouple.com.

"Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together." —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop "Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges." —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection.

Strengthen and deepen your relationships with this "much-needed" (Harville Hendrix, PhD) guide that has sold over one million copies, through revelatory practical exercises, seven profound conversations, and sage advice from “the best couple’s therapist in the world” (John Gottman, PhD, bestselling author) Are you looking to enrich a healthy relationship, revitalize a tired one, or rescue one gone awry? We all want a lifetime of love, support, and companionship. But sometimes we need a little help. Enter Dr. Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy and “the most original contributor to couple’s therapy to come along in the last thirty years,” according to Dr. William J. Doherty, PhD. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Johnson shares her groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships. The message of Hold Me Tight is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection. Dr. Johnson teaches that the way to enhance or save a relationship is to be open, attuned, and responsive to each other and to reestablish emotional connection. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations, including: Recognizing the Demon Dialogues Finding the Raw Spots Revisiting a Rocky Moment Forgiving Injuries Keeping Your Love Alive These conversations give you insight into the defining moments in your relationship and guide you in reshaping these moments to create a secure and lasting bond. Through stories from Dr. Johnson’s practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, you will learn how to nurture, protect, and grow your relationship, ensuring a lifetime of love.

From best-selling relationship expert comes a common-sense guide to help you and your partner increase your emotional intelligence, teaching you practical ways to express your feelings and strengthen your relationship. What makes a relationship healthy? Most men and women will respond that it's good communication to be able to openly express their own thoughts and feelings, and to better understand their partner's. Emotional Intelligence for Couples explains basic principles of emotional intelligence to equip you with common-sense ways to express your feelings, allowing you to enjoy greater intimacy, clearer communication, and a deeper connection than you have ever known. Discover answers to questions like: What actions and behaviors will make our relationship healthier? How can we practice healthy arguing and recognize healthy anger? How can we prevent our criticism, manipulation, and blame games? Why do I need personal boundaries?

“Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.” —The New York Times We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle. Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

A practical, down-to-earth guide to using the world's most successful approach to couple therapy One of the most successful therapeutic approaches to healing dysfunctional relationships, emotionally focused couple therapy provides clients with powerful insights into how and why they may be suppressing their emotions and teaches them practical ways to deal with those feelings more constructively for improved relationships. Unlike cognitive-behavioural therapy, which provides effective short-term coping skills, emotionally focused therapy often is prescribed as a second-stage treatment for couples with lingering emotional difficulties. Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy For Dummies introduces readers to this ground-breaking therapy, offering simple, proven strategies and tools for dealing with problems with bonding, attachment and emotions, the universal cornerstones of healthy relationships. An indispensable resource for readers who would like to manage their relationship problems independently through home study Delivers powerful techniques for dealing with unpleasant emotions, rather than repressing them and for responding constructively to complex relationship issues The perfect introduction to EFT basics for therapists considering expanding their practices to include emotionally focused therapy methods Packed with fascinating and instructive case studies and examples of EFT in action, from the authors' case files Provides valuable guidance on finding, selecting and working with the right EFT certified therapist

Emotional Safety is designed to help couple therapists identify and conceptualize the problems of their clients and to provide solutions, focusing on the two central elements of emotion and attachment. Problems occur in relationships when the partners no longer feel safe being open and vulnerable with each other. Emotional Safety: Viewing Couples Through the Lens of Affect enables couple therapists to recognize and articulate the emotional subtext of their clients’ interactions. The emotional safety model is based on modern affect theory and focuses on the affective tone of messages in the areas of attachment and esteem. The model allows therapists to address the subtle interplay of perceived threat and emotional reaction which underlies their clients’ difficulties and disrupts emotional safety.

In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find the perfect mate. Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin—author of Wired for Love—offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship. Using real-life scenarios, you’ll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you’ll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life. If you’re ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.

This book offers you a step-by-step progam you can use to hone your relationship skills to championship levels-in just ten minutes a day. You can use the book alone, or you can try the exercises with your partner, going through the book in order or choosing those chapters most relevant to your particular goals. Each chapter is short-about two or three pages-and succinct. They combine easy exercises and tools with concise, snappy commentary on issues. Topics include: what the word "love" really means; the importance of physical touch; how to date your mate; how to achieve emotional balance; ways to deal with finances; tricks for stopping an argument before it starts; goal-setting strategies for couples; ways to deal with being apart; tips for coping with hurt before it turns into resentment; and much more.

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." -- 1 John 4:8 Are you looking to enrich a healthy relationship, revitalize a tired one, or rescue one gone awry? Do you yearn to grow closer to God, and to further incorporate Him and His teachings into your marriage? We all want a lifetime of love, support, and faith. But sometimes we need a little help. Enter Dr. Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and "the best couple therapist in the world," according to bestselling relationship expert Dr. John Gottman. In Created For Connection, Dr. Johnson and Kenneth Sanderfer, a leading EFT practitioner in the Christian community, share Johnson's groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships not only between partners, but between us and God. The message of Created For Connection is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, or making grand romantic gestures. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent, and we are on the Heavenly Father, for nurturing, soothing, and protection. The way to enhance or save our relationships with each other and with God is to be open, attuned, responsive, and to reestablish safe emotional connection. Filled with Bible verses, inspiring real-life stories, and guidance, Created For Connection will ensure a lifetime of love.