In THE BIG FAT FATHER CHRISTMAS JOKE BOOK ebook, Horrible Histories author, Terry Deary, brings you two hilarious books in one - Father Christmas' Joke Book and The Great Father Christmas Robbery - full of rib-tickling fun for the festive season. This brilliant bind-up is sure to keep you laughing right through to the New Year and beyond.

Koos is sitting in a bar. Each time he orders a drink he takes out his wallet, removes a photograph and stares at it. ‘Who’s the photo of?’ asks the barman, serving Koos his eighth Klippies and Coke. ‘My wife. When she starts to look pretty I’ll know I’ve had enough.’ What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead rugby referee in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog. WARNING: Not for the faint-hearted or Mother Grundys of this world! Politically incorrect, irreverent and laugh-out-loud funny, The Big Fat South African Joke Book covers a range of topics close to every South African’s heart: from Patricia Lewis to Robert Mugabe; from rugby referees to Kamp Staaldraad; from picking up chicks to marriage; from infidelity to divorce; from Little Bongani to Little Koos and Little Gertruide; from school days to Varsity; and from the mouth of babes to the Pearly Gates of Heaven. These and many other jokes will tickle your funny bone and keep you chuckling for hours.

Dick and Dom are pan-generational household names who have been delighting television audiences for well over a decade. Dick and Dom’s Big Fat and Very Silly Joke Book is a hilarious mishmash of Dick and Dom’s very own bonkers yet brilliant breed of humour. Feast your eyes on over five hundred brilliant gags, japes, jokes and puns; be amazed at Dick and Dom’s Titbits, a selection of fascinating yet fact-free facts; settle in to Dick and Dom’s Poetry Corner for some slightly naughty but very silly poems, and never be bored again with Dick and Dom’s brilliantly baffling Boredom Busters. Most importantly of all, laugh until you do a Vom Goblin.* (*A burp with a small surprise serving of sick. See their first book, Dick and Dom’s Slightly Naughty but Very Silly Words, for more details!) With hilarious illustrations on every page, you’re bound to find something to tickle your funny-bone! Who is old, wise and green all over? Bogey-Wan Kenobi

Dad’s comedy arsenal is about to get a huge upgrade . . . to the relief of everyone around him! Cue the groans. Put an end to courtesy laughs and awkward silences with the jokes in this book! From the people who brought you Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, this is an eclectic collection of the punniest, funniest, most outrageous knee-slappers that have ever been told! At work, at home, at the game—Dad will beat them all to the punch—line, that is! He’ll be hip and humorous with totally bodacious jokes like these: Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too! Why is Christmas just like another day in the office? Because you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit! Dad: “I wouldn’t want to be buried in this graveyard.” Kid: “Why not?” Dad: “Because I'm not dead yet!” And many more!

The book that will tickle the funny bone of all South African children, both young and old. The Big, Fat South African Kiddies’ Joke Book contains jokes of all shapes and sizes, from knock-knock jokes to one-liners and old-time classics. There are short jokes, and longer jokes, and questions and silly answers. There are animals that can talk, children who outfox grown-ups, jokes about teachers and learners, sport and computers, the precious (and hilarious) things children say, and much, much more. The Big, Fat South African Kiddies’ Joke Book is guaranteed to put a big smile on every child’s dial, whether they are seven or seventy!

Dear Santa all I want is a fat bank account & a skinny body. Santa dont mix it up again. Whether you are a vegan, meat eater, or have a sweet tooth, help Santa Claus get it right this time with this themed Funny Dear Santa Dont Mix It Up Xmas Gift notebook planner. High quality finish printed in the USA & fulfilled by Amazon, this is a perfect funny gag gift journal or diary gift for men and women who love to crack jokes around the holidays feasts and festivities. Combine with a shirt or hoodie for extra oomph. Check out the author's expanded journal diary gift collection. Blank lined 20 lines per page, 120 pages, 6x9 inches, matte-finished cover, and white paper. Check out the author's expanded journal diary gift collection.

Fresh from the funny papers, here is Garfield, all-around jokester. In this hilarious book, you'll find jokes of all shapes, species, and sizes. There are jokes about food and eating, other pets, Garfield and his pals, and knock-knocks, of course. So get ready to laugh out loud at humor told the Garfield way.

When their parents take the babies to the mall to see Santa, Chuckie is scared even before Angelica puts her own frightening spin on the tradition, but when she goes in search of the latest hot toy, the youngsters get another look.

We all know Santa Claus: fat, jolly, omniscient, swift. Lives in a nice home in the Arctic, with the missus and a pack of elves. Well, forget what you know. Santa Claus is from Greenpoint, Brooklyn, as it turns out, and he's not as fat as he used to be. Here's something else you didn't know: he's been dabbling in some futuristic technology, and has found myriad ways to make his job possible. How can Santa know who's been naughty and nice? Simple: implant listening devices into your ornaments. How can he make it to every house Christmas Eve? That's nothing a little cloning and some wormholes can't solve. And he has plenty of other tactics: quantum entanglement, organ replacement, drug-induced hibernation, and unmanned aerial vehicles, to name just a few. In this fantastically illustrated, affectionate, and hilarious book, Gregory Mone uses science and technology to overturn the assumption that Santa can't be real. Drawing on the work of accomplished scientists and researchers, Mone gives us a whole new portrait of this remarkable man and the miracles he makes happen every year. With imaginative artwork and an eye-catching package, this book makes an outstanding Christmas gift for just about anyone.