A collection of top-selected writings from the iconic Internet article site known for its humorous articles, unwavering Garamond font and abnormally narrow margins includes such entries as "I Regret to Inform You That My Wedding to Captain Von Trapp Has Been Canceled" and "Hamlet (Facebook News Feed Edition.)" 20,000 first printing.

The Best of McSweeney's Volume 2 the second instalment of Dave Eggers's crash course in what McSweeney's is all about brings together more stories from the first ten issues of the magazine. Jonathan Ames, Judy Budnitz, Glen David Gold, Jonathan Lethem and A.M. Homes are amongst the writers spreading their wings in this fine collection and showing once more why McSweeney's is now a byword for brilliance, innovation and the unexpected.

Featuring way too many forewords, including one by Jake Tapper It's a great undertaking to raise a humor website from infancy to full-fledged adulthood, but with the right editors, impeccable taste, and a dire political landscape, your site will enjoy years of relevance and comic validation. Join us as we revisit the first twenty-one years of McSweeney's Internet Tendency, from our bright-eyed and bewildered early stages to our world-weary and bewildered recent days. Keep Scrolling Till You Feel Something is a coming-of-age celebration of the pioneering website, featuring brand-new pieces and classics by some of today's best humor writers, like Ellie Kemper, Wendy Molyneux, Jesse Eisenberg, Tim Carvell, Karen Chee, Colin Nissan, Megan Amram, John Moe, and many more. Including: I Don't Hate Women Candidates--I Just Hated Hillary and Coincidentally I'm Starting to Hate Elizabeth Warren It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers On the Implausibility of the Death Star's Trash Compactor The Only Thing That Can Stop This Asteroid is Your Liberal Arts Degree If Women Wrote Men the Way Men Write Women My Coming Out Story, Sponsored by Bank of America I Regret to Inform You That My Wedding to Captain Von Trapp Has Been Canceled Please Forgive Us at Blue Apron for This Week's Meals. We've Been Having a Tough Time Lately

A passionate and profane love letter to fall, the best fucking season of the year. Do you get excited at the first brisk breeze of the year? Are you overcome with delight when you see piles of red leaves? Do you lose your fucking mind at a pumpkin patch? At last, the epically funny internet sensation It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers is now a visual tour-de-force, teeming with a cornucopia of perfectly paired photos and seasonal enchantments to make it really fucking sing. Whiffy candles, wicker baskets, motherfucking gourd after gourd, and people going insane they love fall so much? Check! Also included: the equally lifechanging meditation It's Rotting Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers, because all good things must end. Give it to everyone you love, or put it on your fucking coffee table next to a pile of shellacked vegetables to really tie the room together. Perfect for: For anyone who fucking loves fall, and fans of McSweeney's, Go the Fuck to Sleep, Deep Thoughts, the Onion, and the New Yorker.

Learn how to take your work to the next level with this informative guide on the craft, business, and lifestyle of writing With warmth and humor, Paulette Perhach welcomes you into the writer’s life as someone who has once been on the outside looking in. Like a freshman orientation for writers, this book includes an in-depth exploration of all the elements of being a writer—from your writing practice to your reading practice, from your writing craft to the all-important and often-overlooked business of writing. In Welcome to the Writer’s Life, you will learn how to tap into the powers of crowdsourcing and social media to grow your writing career. Perhach also unpacks the latest research on success, gamification, and lifestyle design, demonstrating how you can use these findings to further improve your writing projects. Complete with exercises, tools, checklists, infographics, and behind-the-scenes tips from working writers of all types, this book offers everything you need to jump-start a successful writing life.

Bob Odenkirk is a legend in the comedy-writing world, winning Emmys and acclaim for his work on Saturday Night Live, Mr. Show with Bob and David, and many other seminal TV shows. This book, his first, is a spleen-bruisingly funny omnibus that ranges from absurdist monologues (“Martin Luther King, Jr’s Worst Speech Ever”) to intentionally bad theater (“Hitler Dinner Party: A Play”); from avant-garde fiction (“Obituary for the Creator of Madlibs”) to free-verse poetry that's funnier and more powerful than the work of Calvin Trillin, Jewel, and Robert Louis Stevenson combined. Odenkirk's debut resembles nothing so much as a hilarious new sketch comedy show that’s exclusively available as a streaming video for your mind. As Odenkirk himself writes in “The Second Coming of Jesus and Lazarus,” it is a book “to be read aloud to yourself in the voice of Bob Newhart.”

An “entertaining and profoundly original” (San Francisco Chronicle) moving and hilarious tale of two friends who fly around the world trying to give away a lot of money and free themselves from a profound loss. • From the bestselling author of The Circle. “Nobody writes better than Dave Eggers about young men who aspire to be, at the same time, authentic and sincere.” —The New York Times Book Review "You Shall Know Our Velocity! is the work of a wildly talented writer.... Like Kerouac's book, Eggers's could inspire a generation as much as it documents it." —LA Weekly

In August in Rio Seco, California, the ground is too hard to bury a body. But Glorette Picard is dead, and across the canal, out in the orange groves, they’ll gather shovels and pickaxes and soak the dirt until they can lay her coffin down. First, someone needs to find her son Victor, who memorizes SAT words to avoid the guys selling rock, and someone needs to tell her uncle Enrique, who will be the one to hunt down her killer, and someone needs to brush out her perfect crown of hair and paint her cracked toenails. As the residents of this dry-creek town prepare to bury their own, it becomes clear that Glorette’s life and death are deeply entangled with the dark history of the city and the untouchable beauty that, finally, killed her.

Are you the world's worst parent? Could be, but you won't know for sure till your child starts writing confessional poetry, asks to speak to the manager at an Applebee's, or launches a YouTube channel. In the meantime, let the humorists of McSweeney's guide you through every step of parenthood, from IVF to empty nest. This practical anthology collects the most popular parenting humor writing from McSweeney's Internet Tendency, plus loads of brand-new quizzes, lists, musings, questionable advice, harangues, primal screams, and more. An essential handbook for aspiring helicopter moms, disaffected soccer dads, and hovercrafting basketballing aunts/uncles/cousins--or anyone else who needs something to read while holed up in the bathroom for some "me" time. Includes: Nihilist Dad Jokes Are You the Worst Fucking Parent? Decoding Your Teenager's Glares: A Comprehensive Guide "We're Pregnant," Said a Man Romantic Tips to Help Spice Things Up for Couples With Four Children and Two Full-Time Jobs Hello, I'll Be Your Toddler Tour Guide For This Trip Out The Front Door Our Daughter Isn't a Selfish Brat; Your Son Just Hasn't Read Atlas Shrugged Please Let Me Put My Disease-Riddled Hands All Over Your Baby! Why I Decided Not to Have an OBGYN and Let Wendy From Work Handle My Prenatal Care Instead In Retrospect, the Theme for Chad's 4th Birthday Party Should Not Have Been "Stanford Prison Experiment" Hey, Mom and Dad, I Made a Delicate, Structurally Unsound Craft That You Get to Carry Home In the Rain Your School District's Reopening Survey I'm The World's Best Dad Because Once I Watched My Kid When My Wife Wasn't Around How to De-Feralize Your Children for Back-to-School I Don't Know What the Big Deal About Having a Baby Is

From Dave Eggers, bestselling author of The Circle, a tightly-controlled, emotionally searching novel. Your Fathers, Where Are They? And the Prophets, Do They Live Forever? is the formally daring, brilliantly executed story of one man, struggling to make sense of his country, seeking answers the only way he knows how. In a barracks on an abandoned military base, miles from the nearest road, Thomas watches as the man he has brought wakes up. Kev, a NASA astronaut, doesn't recognize his captor, though Thomas remembers him. Kev cries for help. He pulls at his chain. But the ocean is close by, and nobody can hear him over the waves and wind. Thomas apologizes. He didn't want to have to resort to this. But they really needed to have a conversation, and Kev didn't answer his messages. And now, if Kev can just stop yelling, Thomas has a few questions.