"What is a gentleman, and why should every man aspire to be one? Does the ideal still have any value in the age of feminism, 'toxic masculinity,' and 'Men Going Their Own Way?' Traditional books on manners and gentlemanly behavior have always claimed that manhood is defined by certain universal principles. But these norms have now changed so radically that the standard advice, tried and true as much of it remains, requires new formulation to be useful to the modern man" -- back cover.

From the man who closed the lid forever on the "toilet seat debate" in the New York Times bestseller Essential Manners for Men comes the follow-up book that paves the way for couples everywhere to fix relationship problems before they start. Peter Post offers the secrets to a long and happy marriage or partnership—without psychoanalysis or prescription medication. The good news: often just a few simple words or actions can mend a rift. Essential Manners for Couples reveals how easy it can be to keep the spark in your relationship. With self-deprecating humor, clarity, and wit, Peter recounts couples' most mischievous manners foibles (his own included). Essential Manners for Couples is based on Emily Post Institute surveys, Peter's years of fielding thousands of etiquette questions, popular demand from couples attending his national lectures and workshops, and his experience as a husband and father. Peter looks at couples' private lives and public lives, revealing the common "flashpoints"—the places, situations, and times when inconsiderate behavior is most likely to invade your blissful coupledom. He offers "etiquette imperatives"—simple truths and concise nuggets of advice not to be ignored, including: Permissive flirting: How to define parameters and enjoy verbal combat with the opposite sex. The "Chore I.Q." test—are you really divvying up the workload fairly? When you hate her friends: socializing with the enemy. Enter children: Good parents still spend time together as a couple. Bedroom etiquette—getting beyond the headache excuse. Interactions with in-laws—smooth merge or crash and burn? Where to go for the holidays: surviving family visits and how to say "no." Balancing life with your other significant other—your work ... and much more. Essential Manners for Couples is a must-have resource for the couple who wants to celebrate their union and strengthen it. As Peter Post says, "By using the principles of etiquette, couples can avoid many of the potholes on the road of their shared life, and the ones they do hit are smaller and more manageable." With this book in hand, you'll enhance your relationship, head off hostilities, and have fun doing it.

`This is a highly original and in many ways brilliant text. It is a model of how historical/process sociological research ought to be conducted and written-up. The author's subtle blending of theory and data is outstanding' - Eric Dunning, Professor of Sociology, University of Leicester `Wouters has written a book both broad in scope and deep in analytic reach. Exploring changes in courtship norms over the last century in English, Dutch , German and American books of manners, he discovers changes which confirm the theory of informalization. Relations between the sexes are, he shows us, less regulated from outside and more from inside. This change calls – paradoxically – for both an emancipation of emotion and an ever sharper cultural eye on ways of managing emotion. The book carries Elias’s classic, The Civilizing Process one giant step further. An important contribution and a fascinating read' - Arlie Russell Hochschild, University of California This dazzling book examines changes in American, Dutch, English and German manners, regarding the changing relationships between men and women. From the disappearance of rules for chaperonage and the rise of new codes for courting, dates, public dances and the work place, it shows how women have become their own chaperone by gaining the rights to pay for themselves, to have a job and be a sexual subject. This original and thought-provoking book: · provides empirical evidence showing how younger generations removed their courting from under parental wings and how the balance of power between the sexes shifted in women’s favour; · monitors changes in codes regarding sexuality by focusing on the balance between the desire for sexual gratification and the longing for enduring intimacy; · documents the balance of controls over sexual impulses and emotions shifting from external social controls to internal ones; · compares nationally different trends, particularly between the USA and Europe, focusing on the American dating system and its resulting double standards; · argues that the initial greater freedom of American women has turned into a deficit. Cas Wouters teaches Sociology at Utrecht University

Manly Manners: Lifestyle & Modern Etiquette for the Young Man of the 21st Century is the first volume of a three-volume treatise on modern mens manners by fashion designer, lawyer, former senator Wayne James. Elegant, sophisticated, and immensely informativeyet edgy, sexy, witty, and even irreverent at timesthe trilogy is poised to become the definitive lifestyle guide for the modern man. Is there a difference in the way one holds a glass of red wine versus a glass of white? How should a young man conduct himself in a gay sauna? What are the rules for Shopping While Ethnic? Ever heard of a tabarro? How does a gentleman correctly wear one? What should a young man do (and not do) if detained by law enforcement officers? And whats the best way to survive prisonunraped? How should a gentleman comport himself when invited to coffee in Ethiopia or a funeral in Japan? Is there gloryhole etiquette? Who enters a revolving door first: The man or the woman? What about when entering and exiting restaurants? How should transgender people conduct themselves in gender-specific public restrooms? Ladies are taught how to sit, stand, and walk correctly. But whats the comportment for their male counterparts? Is there a way to politely suggest an enema to a sex-partner before engaging in anal sex? And what are the new and emerging rules for planning a same-sex wedding? How should a corn-fed, red-blooded, young man apologize to his tellak for getting a raging erection while being massaged on the gbektasi? Roll over and play dead? When conducting business in China or in the Arab World, what are the faux pas that can kill a multi-million-dollar deal? Is there a difference between a blazer and a sport coat? And whats the history of penny loafers or mens underwear? Such topics, and many moresome as mundane as how to correctly use a bidet, others as arcane as how to conduct oneself during an Audience with the popeare addressed in the more than 800 pages of Manly Manners: Lifestyle & Modern Etiquette for the Young Man of the 21st Century. Manners is a mans job; and Manly Manners is the new manual.

"If you are the parent of a boy . . . this is the book you need . . . insightful, enlightened, practical." —Peggy Orenstein, New York Times bestselling author of Boys & Sex From the dad who created the viral tweet supporting his son wearing nail polish, this essential parenting guide shares 36 parenting tips for battling gender norms, bringing down "man up" culture, and helping sons realize their potential. Our boys are in a crisis. Toxic masculinity and tough guy-ism are on display daily from our leaders, and we see anger, dysfunction, violence, and depression in young men who are suffocated by harmful social codes. Our young sons are told to stop throwing like a girl. They hear phrases like “man up” when they cry. They are told “boys will be boys” when they behave badly. The “Girl Power” movement has encouraged women to be whoever and do whatever they want, but that sentiment is not often extended to boys. Just watch the bullying when boys try ballet, paint their fingernails, or play with a doll. But we can treat this problem—and the power lies in the hands of parents. It's not only possible to raise boys who aren't emotionally stifled and shoved into stereotypical gender boxes; it's vital if we want a generation of men who can express their emotions, respect women, and help nurse society back to a halfway healthy place. We can reframe manhood. From Aaron Gouveia, who gained viral fame after tweeting his support for his son’s painted fingernails (and who knows toxic masculinity very well), learn practical and actionable tips such as: Don’t accept different standards for moms and dads Teach boys that “girl” is not an insult and retire phrases like “boys will be boys” Show boys that expressing their emotions and being physical is a good thing Let boys pursue nontraditional interests and hobbies Talk to boys about consent and privilege Model healthy and respectful relationships for boys to emulate Penned with equal parts humor, biting snark, and lived advice, Raising Boys to Be Good Men is the essential parenting guide for raising sons to realize their potential outside the box. ​

An “extremely funny” take on the decline of civility, from the #1 New York Times–bestselling author of How the Hell Did This Happen? (The Plain Dealer). In Modern Manners, cultural guru P. J. O’Rourke provides the essential accessory for the truly contemporary man or woman—a rulebook for living in a world without rules. Traditionally, good manners were a means of becoming as bland and invisible as everyone else, thus avoiding calling attention to one’s own awkwardness and stupidity. Today, with everyone wanting to appear special, stupidity is at a premium, and manners—as outrageous and bizarre as possible—are a wonderful way to distinguish ourselves, or at least have a fine time trying. This irreverent and hilarious guide to anti-etiquette offers pointed advice on topics from sex and entertaining to reading habits and death. With the most up-to-date forms of vulgarity, churlishness, and presumption, the latest fashions in discourtesy and barbarous display, O’Rourke is our guide to the art of incivility. “Modern Manners is O’Rourke doing what he has always done: making hilarious, insightful, often vicious fun of the world and all its inhabitants.” —People “A reader who rushes through [Modern Manners] from cover to cover—like I did—will feel like a child who has gorged on chocolate cake: happy, but a bit disappointed that it’s all gone. The reason O’Rourke’s book is so successful, however, is not just his great sense of humor. O’Rourke’s writing has a cutting edge behind it, which makes a reader’s laughter just a bit thought-provoking, and just a bit rueful . . . Very funny.” —Chicago Tribune

A stunning star-crossed love story set against the glitz and grit of 1980s New York City When Elise Perez meets Jamey Hyde on a desolate winter afternoon, fate implodes, and neither of their lives will ever be the same. Although they are next-door neighbors in New Haven, they come from different worlds. Elise grew up in a housing project without a father and didn’t graduate from high school; Jamey is a junior at Yale, heir to a private investment bank fortune and beholden to high family expectations. Nevertheless, the attraction is instant, and what starts out as sexual obsession turns into something greater, stranger, and impossible to ignore. The couple moves to Manhattan in search of a new life, and White Fur follows them as they wander through Newport mansions and East Village dives, WASP-establishment yacht clubs and the grimy streets below Canal Street, fighting the forces determined to keep them apart. White Fur combines the electricity of Less Than Zero with the timeless intensity of Romeo and Juliet in this searing, gorgeously written novel that perfectly captures the ferocity of young love.