The best and funniest work yet (Chicago Tribune) from the bestselling author of Semi Tough. Broadcaster Billy Clyde Puckett is bored and hanging out at a bar with two adorable gals. Running back Tommy Earl, Billy Clyde, and a whole gang of semi-famous football legends are reuniting with a plan: to take the most outrageous, misfittingest, foul-plagued new expansion team in the NFL straight to the Super Bowl.

Join Dot and Duck in a simple, yet hilarious, story about kindness, manners, and friendship that gets more and more chaotic with every turn of the page! Dot invites Duck to a tea party, but from the moment Duck enters the house, the tea party descends into chaos; from licking sandwich fillings to spitting tea, Duck gets ruder...and ruder...and ruder. Just how will Dot react to such outrageous behavior? Simple, funny, and ultimately touching, this book will appeal to any child who is learning what it is not to be rude and, more importantly, what it is to be a true friend.

Hilarious etiquette and manners guide teaches teens how to use manners to gain respect, feel good about themselves, and enjoy life to the fullest. Discussing etiquette and manners from common courtesies to cell-phone smarts to classroom decorum, Alex J. Packer blends outrageous humor with sound advice as he explains why etiquette and manners are important—because people who know how to handle themselves in social situations come out on top, get what they want, feel good about themselves, and enjoy life to the fullest. Full of practical tips for every occasion, How Rude! is a serious etiquette and manners encyclopedia—and a hilarious read. This revised and updated edition describes the basics of polite behavior in all kinds of situations at home, in school, online, and in the world. ​For more must-have advice from Alex J. Packer, Ph.D., check out Slaying Digital Dragons: Tips and tools for protecting your body, brain, psyche, and thumbs from the digital dark side.

The acclaimed author of The Choosing Civility returns to the subject of common decency and thoughtful behavior. Many of us find ourselves confronted with rudeness every day and don't know how to respond. From the intrusive cell-phone user who holds loud conversations in public to the hostile highway driver who cuts one off with a quick swerve of his car, politeness seems to be on a downward spiral, surprising us at every turn. P.M. Forni, the author of Choosing Civility, has the answer. He knows that rudeness begets rudeness and, in The Civility Solution, shows us what to do when confronted with bad behavior by being assertive as well as civil. In more than one hundred different situations, he shows us how to break the rudeness cycle by responding to a variety of confrontations from bullying to rude internet behavior or the hurtful words of an insensitive family member. How would you respond to the following? ...A salesperson ignores your requests ...A fellow driver gives you the infamous "finger" ...Your child's playmate misbehaves ...Your boss publicly reprimands you P. M. Forni has solutions for all of these and many more. In yet another simple and practical handbook, P. M. Forni presents logical solutions that reinforce good behavior and make our world a more civil place.

A story about a rude cake who never says please or thank you or listens to its parents, and a Giant Cyclops who is polite.

"Deliciously hilarious. If you care about people and enjoy a good laugh, I politely encourage you to read this book. Immediately." --Adam Grant, bestselling author of Originals From the brilliant comedic mind behind the hit movie Yes Man, a hilarious and pitch-perfect look at the rudeness that's all around us -- where it comes from, how it affects us, and what we can do about it You're not just imagining it: People are getting more and more rude - from cutting in line, gabbing on their phones and clipping their nails on public transportation, to hurling epithets on Twitter and in real life (including a certain President who does both). And the worst part is that it's contagious, leading reasonably courteous people to stoop to new lows in order to respond to the ever-coarsening encounters we face every day. In this engaging and illuminating new book, bestselling author and all-around curious guy Danny Wallace looks at the reasons behind the rudeness, and what we can do to stop it. His quest to stop the madness includes interviews with neuroscientists, psychologists, NASA scientists, politicians, and other experts. He joins a Radical Honesty group, talks to LA drivers about road rage, and confronts his own online troll in a pub--all to better understand the scourge that's turning normal people into bullies, tantruming toddlers, trolls, and other types of everyday monsters. Want to be part of the solution? Let Danny Wallace be your smart and funny guide.

Can a little boy with impeccable etiquette and a very rude mule enjoy an afternoon together? What would you do if a mule knocked on your door one day and said, "I've come for lunch"? You'd say, "Hello! Come in, Mule." But what if the mule was very badly behaved? This extremely funny story shows young readers exactly how to handle such a situation. Wonderfully bold and bright illustrations and a child-in-charge perspective make this a tale of manners that even the rudest will enjoy.

"Dan Jenkins is a comic genius." -- Don Imus Made into a hilarious and timeless film starring Burt Reynolds, Kris Kristofferson, and Jill Clayburgh, and recently named number seven on Sports Illustrated's Top 100 Sports Books of All Time, Semi-Tough is Dan Jenkins's masterpiece and considered by many to be the funniest sports book ever written. The novel follows the outsize adventures of Billy Clyde Puckett, star halfback for the New York Giants, whose team has come to Los Angeles for an epic duel with the despised "dog-ass" Jets in the Super Bowl. But Billy Clyde is faced with a dual challenge: not only must he try to run over a bunch of malevolents incarnate, but he has also been commissioned by a New York book publisher to keep a journal of the events leading up to, including, and following the game. Infused with Dan Jenkins's characteristic joie de vivre and replete with cigarettes, whiskey, and wild women, Semi-Tough is an uproarious romp through a lost era of professional sports that will have any armchair quarterback falling out of his or her recliner in hysterics on a semi-regular basis.

How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a clear, actionable, sometimes humorous (but always science-based) guide for parents on how to shape their kids into honest, kind, generous, confident, independent, and resilient people...who just might save the world one day. As an award-winning science journalist, Melinda Wenner Moyer was regularly asked to investigate and address all kinds of parenting questions: how to potty train, when and whether to get vaccines, and how to help kids sleep through the night. But as Melinda's children grew, she found that one huge area was ignored in the realm of parenting advice: how do we make sure our kids don't grow up to be assholes? On social media, in the news, and from the highest levels of government, kids are increasingly getting the message that being selfish, obnoxious and cruel is okay. Hate crimes among children and teens are rising, while compassion among teens has been dropping. We know, of course, that young people have the capacity for great empathy, resilience, and action, and we all want to bring up kids who will help build a better tomorrow. But how do we actually do this? How do we raise children who are kind, considerate, and ethical inside and outside the home, who will grow into adults committed to making the world a better place? How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a deeply researched, evidence-based primer that provides a fresh, often surprising perspective on parenting issues, from toddlerhood through the teenage years. First, Melinda outlines the traits we want our children to possess—including honesty, generosity, and antiracism—and then she provides scientifically-based strategies that will help parents instill those characteristics in their kids. Learn how to raise the kind of kids you actually want to hang out with—and who just might save the world.

"So what? All the other kids get to do it!" Few behavioral problems challenge and frustrate parents, caregivers, and teachers as does verbal rudeness in children of any age. Reinforced by the wise-cracking kids on TV and in the movies, backtalk has become all too common among today's youngsters. But there is nothing cute about this behavior. Remarks like "Yeah, right," "Big deal," and "Make me" -- form children as young as three -- get in the way of real communication between parents and kids, and can also be detrimental to a child's social and intellectual development. Now two experts in the field share their simple and specific four-step program for ending backtalk and restoring balance in relationships between parents and children, from preschoolers to teens. You'll learn how to recognize backtalk, how to choose and enact a response that will make sense to you and the backtalker, and when to disengage from the struggle and move forward. Full of advice and encouragement as well as suggestions on how to keep track of what works and what doesn't, Backtalk can be put to use immediately, before you hear another "Whatever."