On days out to the beach, always be the first in the family to get out of the car, onto the beach and into the sea. Always be the last in the family to get out of the sea, onto the beach and into the car. Remember to shake excess sea water from your fur once you are inside the car. Humans may refrain from passing you food to test. To them, a piece of salmon, followed by Liquorice Allsorts, a chocolate cake, and a selection of vegetables is a foul combination. Humans believe meals should be categorised into three sections. A starter, a main course and a sweet. Disavow them of this. Food is food is food. Always make sure you have more energy at the end of a walk, than you did at the beginning. Believe me, humans love the futility of taking you for a walk to tire you out.

Though humans cannot speak cat, they vocalise repeatedly. Most of their vocalisations are meaningless and can be completely ignored. In urban areas, fun can be got from hunting human objects such as mink stoles or old underpants. For some reason this kind of prey is usually greeted with human laughter. To get a male human off an armchair, jump on the back of it, hold down his head with a firm paw and lick his bald patch. Purring right into the ear is one of the kindest ways to tell a human being that it is time to get out of bed.

From Fowl Play to Hen-tertainment, in this hilarious collection by Diane Parker the chickens show us who are really in charge, and what they're really plotting inside their coops! Don't worry about the morning after the night before. Unmade nests, broken eggs and scattered food -your human will not even notice the difference and they always have spare time to clean up after you. Free range means you have the right to roam. However you choose to do it, escape on a regular basis and refuse to return until you are ready. Try to tip your food hopper up so all the corn spills. That way your human will have to refill it on a more regular basis.

From the bestselling author of One Hundred Ways For a Cat To Train Its Human comes a new guide on how to improve your own life by learning from your cat. Content, living in the moment, finding pleasure in small things - your cat knows exactly how to get the best out of life. So let your cat be your guru as Celia Haddon shows in 100 ways how adopting their outlook can lead to our own happiness. Stretch out, relax, find a warm spot - and enjoy purrfection.

In 100 Ways to Be As Happy As Your Dog, animal behaviour expert Celia Haddon shows you 100 ways in which you, too, can master the art of being happy by learning from your favourite canine companions. Curious, affectionate and always full of energy, dogs have always been a source of joy for us no matter what we are going through in life. Whether you've got a Labrador, a poodle or a shih tzu, your dog is always there, ready to play fetch or offer a cuddle or go for long walks on the beach when you need it. So let animal behaviour expert and bestselling author Celia Haddon show you how you, too, can live a good life as a human by learning the art of happiness from our best animal friend.

Tilly has spent most of her adult life in an Oxfordshire shelter, unchosen, unwanted and practically feral. Seeking a distraction from her own troubles, the author and renowned pet columnist, Celia Haddon begins a project to transform Tilly into a household pet. Through Tilly's journey from unwanted and unadoptable cat to adored pet, Celia begins to explore her own inward journey and the way that cats had helped her through the difficulties of childhood and middle age, through to self knowledge. By loving Tilly she found she could love her inner self.

Can’t find time to write? Daunted by the sheer size of your writing project? Lost your motivation? Scared of being rejected? It doesn’t matter whether you want to write a page-turning novel, a life-changing non- fiction book, produce fascinating features or sizzling short stories, there comes a point when you have to sit down and write. That’s when negativity and despondency show up. To achieve your writing dreams, you need a positively productive mindset. Inside The Positively Productive Writer (Second Edition), you will learn how to: - embrace rejection, tame Imposter Syndrome, and avoid comparisonitis, - find more time to write, and turbo-boost your productivity by designating it ‘maker’ time or ‘manager’ time, - banish Writers’ Block, embrace sloppy copy, and celebrate your writing success, - and so much more! With an extra 40% positivity, this fully revised and updated second edition of The Positively Productive Writer will help you turn your creative dreams into writing reality. Simon Whaley is a bestselling author, magazine columnist, and feature writer. This second edition of The Positively Productive Writer draws upon his thirty years of published writing experience, and over two decades of creative writing tutoring.

Few people can appreciate the joy that being owned by a cat brings better than David St John Thomas - the latest in a long line of publishers and authors to pay homage to the very special cats who have entered their busy lives. This is a book for everyone who really cares about cats. Vividly written, sometimes serious, sometimes light-hearted, anyone who has fallen for a cat, however much against their better judgement, is bound to find it uplifting. While cat people are nice (Hitler couldn't stand them!), the real heroes in this book are naturally the cats themselves. A rich portfolio of feline characters - including the author's own cats - step off the page, or perhaps lie curled in seductive curves on it, so vividly that you can feel their fur and hear their purr! Rich in entertaining anecdotes and asides, For the Love of a Cat will enhance every cat owner's understanding of their feline friend and remind them again and again just how lucky they are to share their lives with this most fascinating of creatures.

'Do you need a human in the first place? If you do, do not adopt a human on impulse. You may not get the right one for your lifestyle.' George the Cat is the feline world's favourite agony aunt. Now he brings us his irresistible, hilarious A-Z guide for fellow felines to help them navigate the human world, understand their sometimes weird and idiotic behaviour, and help turn human failings to feline advantages. Includes advice on how to move a sleeping human to the very edge of their bed, enjoy the use of their empty boxes before they're thrown out, and to get doors opened for you whether or not you have a private catflap. George also has a word of advice for humans: 'Don't let your cat get his paws on this book!' For fans of Secret Thoughts Cats Have About Humans and 100 Ways for A Cat to Train Its Human by Celia Haddon.