One of TIME's 100 Must-Read Books of 2021 One of BuzzFeed's Best Books of 2021 One of Vulture's Best Books of 2021 Named one of the Most Anticipated of Books of 2021 by the Los Angeles Times, Literary Hub, and The Millions A searing and brave memoir that offers a new understanding of suicide as a distinct mental illness. As the sun lowered in the sky one Friday afternoon in April 2006, acclaimed author Donald Antrim found himself on the roof of his Brooklyn apartment building, afraid for his life. In this moving memoir, Antrim vividly recounts what led him to the roof and what happened after he came back down: two hospitalizations, weeks of fruitless clinical trials, the terror of submitting to ECT—and the saving call from David Foster Wallace that convinced him to try it—as well as years of fitful recovery and setback. Through a clear and haunting reckoning with the author’s own story, One Friday in April confronts the limits of our understanding of suicide. Donald Antrim’s personal insights reframe suicide—whether in thought or in action—as an illness in its own right, a unique consequence of trauma and personal isolation, rather than the choice of a depressed person. A necessary companion to William Styron’s classic? Darkness Visible, this profound, insightful work sheds light on the tragedy and mystery of suicide, offering solace that may save lives.

As the sun lowered in the sky one Friday afternoon in April 2006, acclaimed author Donald Antrim found himself on the roof of his Brooklyn apartment building, afraid for his life. In this moving memoir, Antrim vividly recounts what led him to the roof and what happened after he came back down: two hospitalizations, weeks of fruitless clinical trials, the terror of submitting to ECT—and the saving call from David Foster Wallace that convinced him to try it—as well as years of fitful recovery and setback. Through a clear and haunting reckoning with the author’s own story, One Friday in April confronts the limits of our understanding of suicide. Donald Antrim’s personal insights reframe suicide—whether in thought or in action—as an illness in its own right, a unique consequence of trauma and personal isolation, rather than the choice of a depressed person. A necessary companion to William Styron’s classic? Darkness Visible, this profound, insightful work sheds light on the tragedy and mystery of suicide, offering solace that may save lives.

As the sun lowered in the sky one Friday afternoon in April 2006, acclaimed author Donald Antrim found himself on the roof of his Brooklyn apartment building, afraid for his life. In this moving memoir, Antrim vividly recounts what led him to the roof and what happened after he came back down: two hospitalizations, weeks of fruitless clinical trials, the terror of submitting to ECT—and the saving call from David Foster Wallace that convinced him to try it—as well as years of fitful recovery and setback. Through a clear and haunting reckoning with the author’s own story, One Friday in April confronts the limits of our understanding of suicide. Donald Antrim’s personal insights reframe suicide—whether in thought or in action—as an illness in its own right, a unique consequence of trauma and personal isolation, rather than the choice of a depressed person. A necessary companion to William Styron’s classic? Darkness Visible, this profound, insightful work sheds light on the tragedy and mystery of suicide, offering solace that may save lives.

“This memoir is an extraordinary example of how you can survive and thrive in the face of unfair change.” —Spencer Johnson, MD, #1 bestselling author of Who Moved My Cheese? “Suicide haunts you as something to hide, something to be ashamed of, something that keeps reminding you that your family is damaged, scarred . . . It’s a dark, ugly secret that you don’t want to share.” From bestselling author and self-help guru Lucinda Bassett, comes an intimate and empowering memoir. A few years ago, Bassett’s husband and business partner, David, committed suicide after an agonizing year’s struggle with mental illness. Lucinda and her children were devastated. Unbelievably, within just a few months of his death, she lost her brother, and then her mother. And to add to the overwhelming anguish she was already experiencing, Lucinda was then forced to sell her business during an economic downturn. In this gripping account, Bassett digs deep inside herself to uncover the patterns of guilt, blame, anger, and shame she experienced throughout her life, and how they resurfaced and related to these horrific and painful recent tragedies. Her remarkable story is one of complete and candid intimacy, personal introspection, courage, pain, perseverance, and, ultimately, healing. “An intimate, powerful, and riveting story of success and loss . . . This book will be an inspiration to many, especially to anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide.” —Daniel Amen, MD “Lucinda Bassett’s life journey will inspire others to move beyond extreme pain and find peace again. I recommend this book to anyone who has experienced loss and heartbreak—and that would be just about everyone.” —Kenny Loggins, Grammy®–winning singer, songwriter, guitarist, and author

"Your life isn't over." My dad says this. "I mean, YOUR life isn't over. Beyond the kids. You'll go on living, doing things. This isn't it." I know, I assure him. I have the kids. They need me. They're my life now. "OK," he replies, then grunts—more of a brief hum. He only hums when he thinks I'm full of shit. Shockingly single. Amy Biancolli's life went off script more dramatically than most after her husband of twenty years jumped off the roof of a parking garage. Left with three children, a three-story house, and a pile of knotty psychological complications, Amy realizes the flooding dishwasher, dead car battery, rapidly growing lawn, basement sump pump, and broken doorknob aren't going to fix themselves. She also realizes that "figuring shit out" means accepting the horrors that came her way, rolling with them, slogging through them, helping others through theirs, and working her way through life with love and laughter. Amy Biancolli is an author and journalist whose column appears in the Albany Times Union. Before that, Amy served as film critic for the Houston Chronicle where her reviews, published around the country, won her the 2007 Comment and Criticism Award from the Texas Associated Press Managing Editors Association. Biancolli is the author of House of Holy Fools: A Family Portrait in Six Cracked Parts, which earned her Albany Author of the Year. Amy lives in Albany, New York, with her three children.

As a teenager, DeQuincy Lezine nearly ended his own life, believing it was the only way to escape the emotional pain that was overwhelming him. Instead, Lezine was able to find expert psychiatric care, and went on to found the first university campus-based chapter of the Suicide Prevention Action Network USA. Now a researcher at the University of Rochester's Center for the Study and Prevention of Suicide, Lezine has devoted his life to preventing suicide in adolescents, and he brings the wealth of his personal and professional experience to bear in Eight Stories Up. He starts by describing his deteriorating state of mind in college, using his own email archive to retell the episode that would nearly claim his life. He then offers hard-earned wisdom and practical advice to other young people who may be considering suicide. In straightforward, easy-to-understand language, and drawing on the psychiatric expertise of David Brent, MD, Lezine discusses the potential causes of suicide in adolescents, how to seek psychiatric treatment, and how to get the most out of professional help. He also surveys some of the therapies used to prevent suicide, how to talk to loved ones about suicidal thoughts, and how to stay healthy at home and at school. The result is both a remarkable memoir and a useful guide that will ease the isolation and hopelessness caused by thoughts of suicide, helping young people to overcome their troubles in a safe and healthy way. Part of the Adolescent Mental Health Initiative series of books written specifically for teens and young adults, Eight Stories Up offers hope to young people who are at risk of suicide, extending a lifeline of support and guidance that can save their lives.

Perez Hilton—self-proclaimed “Queen of All Media” and founder of PerezHilton.com—cuts loose with a book that secures his reputation as “the most-hated man in Hollywood” (Rolling Stone). The best part: it’s hysterically funny—and shockingly true… Psycho celebs dominate news, fashion, and trends, influencing how we speak and what we wear. We’re obsessed! Our reality-based, gossip-driven world has set the barometer for what’s in and what’s out. So, how do we become like the famous? Well, post a grainy sex video online, drive high and wasted against oncoming traffic, flash your coochie for the cameras, and if those don’t work, attempt suicide—and you’re bound to become a “Hilton.” Now the man infamous for breaking raw superstar dish and jaw-dropping commentary lends his fearless voice, notorious sense of humor, and outrageous sensibility to Red-Carpet Suicide, a generation-defining, hilarious survival guide.

Celebrated transsexual trailblazer Kate Bornstein has, with more humor and spunk than any other, ushered us into a world of limitless possibility through a daring re-envisionment of the gender system as we know it. Here, Bornstein bravely and wittily shares personal and unorthodox methods of survival in an often cruel world. A one-of-a-kind guide to staying alive outside the box, Hello, Cruel World is a much-needed unconventional approach to life for those who want to stay on the edge, but alive. Hello, Cruel World features a catalog of 101 alternatives to suicide that range from the playful (moisturize!), to the irreverent (shatter some family values), to the highly controversial. Designed to encourage readers to give themselves permission to unleash their hearts' harmless desires, the book has only one directive: "Don't be mean." It is this guiding principle that brings its reader on a self-validating journey, which forges wholly new paths toward a resounding decision to choose life. Tenderly intimate and unapologetically edgy, Kate Bornstein is the radical role model, the affectionate best friend, and the guiding mentor all in one.

When Tina S. meets April, a teenage runaway, she thinks she's found her best friend. She leaves behind her dysfunctional family to join April in the tunnels of Grand Central Station amidst the homeless and drug addicted. Soon she's bingeing on crack--just like April--and stealing, scamming and panhandling to support her habit and to survive on the streets. In her own words, she describes her descent into crack addiction, being raped in the tunnels, her several arrests and jail terms and her grief and guilt over the death of April, whom she'd come to love. Finally faced with the reality that she might not make it through one more day, Tina takes her first difficult steps towards a normal life. With the help of a homeless advocate and his wife, a gay uncle dying of AIDS, and the woman who was to become her co-author on this book, Tina turns her life around and makes her way back to the world of the living.

From "a fiercely intelligent writer" (The New York Times), a wry, poignant story of the difficult love between a mother and a son In the winter of 2000, shortly after his mother's death from cancer and malnourishment, Donald Antrim, author of the absurdist, visionary masterworks Elect Mr. Robinson for a Better World, The Hundred Brothers, and The Verificationist, began writing about his family. In pieces that appeared in The New Yorker and were anthologized in Best American Essays, Antrim explored his intense and complicated relationships with his mother, Louanne, an artist and teacher who was, at her worst, a ferociously destabilized and destabilizing alcoholic; his gentle grandfather, who lived in the mountains of North Carolina and who always hoped to save his daughter from herself; and his father, who married Louanne twice. The Afterlife is not a temporally linear coming-of-age memoir; instead, Antrim follows a logic of unconscious life, of dreams and memories, of fantasies and psychoses, the way in which the world of the alcoholic becomes a sleepless, atemporal world. In it, he comes to terms with—and fails to comes to terms with—the nature of addiction and the broken states of loneliness, shame, and loss that remain beyond his power to fully repair. This is a tender and even blackly hilarious portrait of a family—faulty, cracked, enraging. It is also the story of the way the author works, in part through writing this book, to become a man more fully alive to himself and to others, a man capable of a life in which he may never learn, or ever hope to know, the nature of his origins.