An adult parody of children’s alphabet books, offering horrible—but hilarious—advice, from the authors of All my friends are dead. In the humorous vein of Go the F**k to Sleep comes a laugh-out-loud collection of bad advice that turns the children’s alphabet book on its head. Adorable, illustrated characters lead readers down a path of poor decision-making, and alphabetical, rhyming couplets offer terrible life lessons. O is for opening things with your teeth, F is for setting Daddy’s wallet on fire, and R is for Raccoon (but definitely not for rabies). With plenty of playfully disastrous choices lurking around every corner, this compendium of black humor may be terrible for actual children, but it’s perfect for the common-senseless child in all adults. Plus, this is the fixed-format version, which looks nearly identical to the physical book. Praise for K is for Knifeball “Great fun for adults. The humorous illustrations, done in the style common in kids books, greatly add to the fun.” —Geek Alerts

If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life while exploring each cartoon character's unique grievance and wide-eyed predicament. From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable.

A New York Times Bestseller! A "raucous trip through the odd corners of our alphabet." —The New York Times Let's get real—the English language is bizarre. A might be for apple, but it's also for aisle and aeons. Why does the word "gnat" start with a G but the word "knot" doesn't start with an N? It doesn't always make sense, but don't let these rule-breaking silent letters defeat you! This whimsical, funky book from Raj Haldar (aka rapper Lushlife) turns the traditional idea of an alphabet book on its head, poking fun at the most mischievous words in the English language and demonstrating how to pronounce them. Fun and informative for word nerds of all ages!

From the authors of the breakout best seller All my friends are dead comes a brand-new illustrated compendium of the humorous existential ruminations of people, animals, legendary monsters, and inanimate objects.

A new, hilarious picture book for kids from the #1 New York Times bestselling authors of P IS FOR PTERODACTYL! What makes this picture book for kids be THE WORST read aloud book ever? Try reading these sentences aloud: The mummy prepared farro for dinner. The mummy prepared pharaoh for dinner. Sounds the same, right? But they're totally different! Kids will laugh at the irreverent, super silly humor and witty illustrations that provide context clues and help explain the outrageous sentences. While kids are cracking up at you repeating yourself, they also will be learning about homonyms and homophones! There's also a glossary to help explain the sound-alike words. This hysterical book for kids is sure to delight parents, teachers, and anyone who loves to laugh at the absurdity of the English language. "Those who love wordplay are the natural constituency for No Reading Allowed: The Worst Read-Aloud Book Ever, a picture book that's bright with comic scenes... [and] brilliant pairings of picture and word (and word with word)."—The Wall Street Journal "If you're a logophile (=word nerd), grammar geek, or a bookworm, and especially, if you're a teacher or homeschooler, snag a copy of No Reading Allowed for yourself and a friend. This will be a hot holiday gift for us word nerd folks!"—Imagination Soup

Lucy introduces herself as the longest dog, displaying a gentle sense of humor but great self-confidence despite the fact that being extremely long is not easy.

One morning Achilles, a young crocodile, insists that he will eat a child that day and refuses all other food, but when he actually finds a little girl, she puts him in his place.

I hate that I'm going bald. I hate that I still make fun of bald people. I hate karma. Amateur haters, step aside. Time to learn what it really means to be miserable. Because this guy hates everything. From hating the little irks that happen now and then (like the water that squirts out of the mustard bottle) to hating the unfortunate realities of today's world (like that superheroes don't exist...but villains do), Matthew DiBenedetti tells readers how he really feels. With such a variety of miserable musings, you'll find something to laugh at—and someone to loathe with—in this book.

From the authors of the breakout bestseller All my friends are dead. (more than 175,000 copies sold) and in the humorous vein of Go the F**k to Sleep comes a laugh-out-loud collection of bad advice that turns the children's alphabet book on its head. Adorable illustrated characters lead readers down a path of poor decision-making, and alphabetical, rhyming couplets offer terrible life lessons in which O is for opening things with your teeth, F is for setting Daddy's wallet on fire, and R is for Raccoon (but definitely not for rabies). With plenty of playfully disastrous choices lurking around every corner, this compendium of black humor may be terrible for actual children, but it's perfect for the common-senseless child in all adults.

#1 AMAZON BESTSELLER. WARNING: THIS IS NOT A CHILDREN'S BOOK. 100 Grumpy Animals by BeastFlaps. It was only the first week of the new year, and I was already fed up and grumpy. I had a pile of paperwork to sort through, a backlog of work to get done and more than a few bills to pay. I was asked to stop everything and urgently draw a cute greeting card for a friend (as a favour... of course) and before I knew it I had drawn an angry duckling saying QUACK F***ING QUACK. It made me laugh out loud and I shared it online. It quickly became apparent that it was making a few other people smile too, and so a promise was made. No matter what else life would bring in 2020, I would set aside enough time each day to draw and post a daily grumpy animal. This book is the unstoppable force of 100 days of grumpy animal drawings.