Better than a cold shower-and a lot funnier. Choke the chicken, spank the monkey, charm the snake-however you refer to it, none of the images in this book will encourage you to pleasure yourself. This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a laugh-out-loud collection of random pictures virtually guaranteed to dampen the urge of even the strongest libido.

How To Masturbate At Your Office And Not Get Caught Hilarious Notebook With Funny Cover That Is Sure To Get Everyone's, Eyes Rolling. This notebook is a great gift idea for your friends, co-worker, staff, and colleagues. Specifications: 6*9 inches 120 high-quality pages premium matte finish cover Suitable as a gift on any occasion

A handy, authoritative and deeply offensive look at the races of the world, which is sure to raise howls of both protest and reluctant laughter. Award winning writer and comedian Sam Means takes on the persona of anthropologist CH Dalton, who holds forth on subjects such as: a crucial manual to Arabs, a people so sensitive they are likely to blow up any time; a close look at the bizarre race known as women' who are not good at anything; the good life enjoyed by blacks, who shuffle through life unhindered by the white man's burdens. Also a comprehensive glossary of insults for all races.'

A humorous look at what happens when taxidermy goes terribly wrong, by the founder of the hit website crappytaxidermy.com. A relaxed toad enjoying a smoke and a brew. A cat with eerily flexible front legs. A smiling lion with receding gums. Whether you choose to laugh or cringe at these spectacularly bad attempts at taxidermy, you won't be able to tear your eyes away from the curiosities inside. This volume brings together the very best of the worst (along with a DIY "Stuff Your Own Mouse" lesson by an Insect Preparator from the American Museum of Natural History), showcasing the most perverse yet imaginative anatomical reconstructions of the animal kingdom you'll ever see.

An irreverent lexicon of the seemingly infinite ways we call bullshit, written by a McSweeney's columnist and etymologist, illustrated by a New Yorker-contributing cartoonist. What's the difference between "balderdash" and "drivel"? Where did "mumbo-jumbo" come from? How should you use "meadow mayonnaise"? What's "felgercarb" and which popular TV show coined it? There are hundreds of common and rare terms for bullshit in English, including borrowings from German, turn-of-the-century sailors, The Simpsons, and beyond. Bullshit is everywhere, but not all of it is created equal. Mark Peters's Bullshit: A Lexicon is the handy guide to identifying and calling BS in all of its many forms, from "bunk" and "claptrap" to "applesauce" and "gobbledygook." Packed with historical facts, pop culture tidbits, and definitions for each term, Bullshit is perfect for humor readers, language lovers, and anyone looking to describe life's everyday annoyances.

Rejected Books is a collection of forty hilariously unrealistic, totally cringe-worthy covers for books that will never, ever be published—from the authors of Images You Should Not Masturbate To Have you ever had a great idea for a book but then thought, “Nobody would ever read that”? Well . . . you’re probably right. But you’re not alone! Enter Rejected Books, a rollicking collection of the best book covers for books that were never meant to be. These awful pitches were turned down for any number of reasons: they’re either too long, too sad, too raunchy, or just plain bad. The compilation of imagined book covers in Rejected Books will have you scratching your head and guffawing with every page turn. Though Pranks with Sausages and Holy Bible II don’t actually exist, Rejected Books offers up a professionally produced series of photos imagining just what these wacky ideas (and plenty more) could look like. Rejected Books includes delightfully weird covers of imagined books like: • The Sculptors Who Couldn’t Do Hands • Cooking with Breast Milk • Possessed Toys: A Buying Guide • Unfortunate Gluing Accidents • Camel Toes Through History Enjoy the worst book pitches of all time and rest assured that anyone can have a future in publishing . . . even if your ideas are totally horrible.

From the bestselling creator of HEARTSTOPPER and LOVELESS, a deeply funny and deeply moving exploration of identity, friendship, and fame. For Angel Rahimi life is about one thing: The Ark -- a boy band that's taking the world by storm. Being part of The Ark's fandom has given her everything she loves -- her friend Juliet, her dreams, her place in the world. Her Muslim family doesn't understand the band's allure -- but Angel feels there are things about her they'll never understand. Jimmy Kaga-Ricci owes everything to The Ark. He's their frontman -- and playing in a band with his mates is all he ever dreamed of doing, even it only amplifies his anxiety. The fans are very accepting that he's trans -- but they also keep shipping with him with his longtime friend and bandmate, Rowan. But Jimmy and Rowan are just friends -- and Rowan has a secret girlfriend the fans can never know about. Dreams don't always turn out the way you think and when Jimmy and Angel are unexpectedly thrust together, they find out how strange and surprising facing up to reality can be. A funny, wise, and heartbreakingly true coming of age novel. I Was Born for This is a stunning reflection of modern teenage life, and the power of believing in something -- especially yourself.

This book presents you 42 awesome reasons not to masturbate too much! It is guaranteed that next time you masturbate, you will think about them!This is the BEST masturbation jokes' book of 2020 and the greatest thing to gift your masturbation addicted friends!!

"Extreme ironing is the world's newest adrenalin sport--combining the thrill of extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt. From its humble beginnings in the English East Midlands city of Leicester in 1997, the sport has gone global, with the first Extreme Ironing World Championships being held in Munich 2002. This is the story of those first five years, written by the sport's founder Phil Shaw--Steam, as he is known by his fellow ironists. Detailing everything you need to know about taking up extreme ironing, the sport's various styles and the world's leading nations, this book also features in-depth coverage of the World Championships and the results of the 2003 Rowenta Trophy, with full-colour action photography throughout"--P. [4] of cover.

As featured in The Guardian. From the internet mischief-maker who brought you the "Knock Knock Hijack," in which he ran away with a friend's Facebook joke to hilarious effect, and "Hotel Graffiti," a series of peculiar messages hidden in hotel rooms around the world, comes "But... You're a Horse," a collection of pranks, anecdotes and gags that have nothing whatsoever to do with the cover of the book containing them. David Bussell's work has been featured in The Telegraph, The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, B3TA, Digital Spy, and (quite without his permission) The Daily Mail. Things people have said about David Bussell: "Hilarious" Graham Linehan (Father Ted, The IT Crowd). "Really good" Shane Allen (BBC Controller of Comedy Commissioning). "Ha " Sam Bain (Peep Show, Fresh Meat).