The stories in the Bible are not always nice and happy. Some are messy and dangerous. Some are about foolish, strange, or awful things. This collection of short, funny poems is sure to capture the attention of any reader. Each poem shows that God works in the ugly, icky, gross world we live in and helps us out of our messes. This resource intersperses poems with paraphrases of biblical wisdom.

Jael killed Sisera by hammering a tent stake into his head. Jezebel was thrown out a window, trampled, and attacked by dogs. Judas hanged himself.

Sometimes, we make the Bible too tidy for junior high-age students. This book aims to show how God works in the ugly, messy world. Through each criminal that is described, readers are pointed to Christ and the salvation found through Him.

Teach young children about the basic story of God's love for us, the brokenness brought on by our sin, and God's plan to fix us and our broken relationship with Him through Jesus.

In 2003, Brad Warner blew the top off the Buddhist book world with his irreverent autobiography/manifesto, Hardcore Zen: Punk Rock, Monster Movies, and the Truth about Reality. Now in his second book, Sit Down and Shut Up, Brad tackles one of the great works of Zen literature, the Shobogenzo, by thirteenth-century Zen master Dogen. Illuminating Dogen’s enigmatic teachings in plain language, Brad intertwines musings on sex, meditation, death, God, sin, and happiness with an exploration of the punk rock ethos. In chapters such as “Evil Is Stupid,” “Kill Your Anger,” and “Enlightenment Is for Sissies,” Brad melds the antiauthoritarianism of punk with that of Zen, mixing in a travelogue of his triumphant return to Ohio to play in a reunion concert of Akron punk bands. For those drawn to Buddhist teachings but scared off by their stiff austerity, Brad writes with a sharp smack of truth, in teachings and stories that cut to the heart of reality.

From the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms! All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Did you know? Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. Still skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

An edgy, sexy USA TODAY bestseller about falling for the one person you can’t have. Maise O’Malley just turned eighteen, but she’s felt like a grown-up her entire life. The summer before senior year, she has plans: get into a great film school, convince her mom to go into rehab, and absolutely do not, under any circumstances, screw up her own future. But life has a way of throwing her plans into free-fall. When Maise meets Evan at a carnival one night, their chemistry is immediate, intense, and short-lived. Which is exactly how she likes it: no strings. But afterward, she can’t get Evan out of her head. He’s taught her that a hookup can be something more. It can be an unexpected connection with someone who truly understands her. Someone who sees beyond her bravado to the scared but strong girl inside. That someone turns out to be her new film class teacher, Mr. Evan Wilke. Maise and Evan resolve to keep their hands off each other, but the attraction is too much to bear. Together, they’re real and genuine; apart, they’re just actors playing their parts for everyone else. And their masks are slipping. People start to notice. Rumors fly. When the truth comes to light in a shocking way, they may learn they were just playing parts for each other, too. Smart, sexy, and provocative, Unteachable is about what happens when a love story goes off-script.

Book one in the hit series that's soon to be a major motion picture starring Amandla Stenberg and Mandy Moore--now with a stunning new look and an exclusive bonus short story featuring Liam and his brother, Cole. When Ruby woke up on her tenth birthday, something about her had changed. Something alarming enough to make her parents lock her in the garage and call the police. Something that got her sent to Thurmond, a brutal government "rehabilitation camp." She might have survived the mysterious disease that killed most of America's children, but she and the others emerged with something far worse: frightening abilities they cannot control. Now sixteen, Ruby is one of the dangerous ones. But when the truth about Ruby's abilities--the truth she's hidden from everyone, even the camp authorities--comes out, Ruby barely escapes Thurmond with her life. On the run, she joins a group of kids who escaped their own camp: Zu, a young girl haunted by her past; Chubs, a standoffish brainiac; and Liam, their fearless leader, who is falling hard for Ruby. But no matter how much she aches for him, Ruby can't risk getting close. Not after what happened to her parents. While they journey to find the one safe haven left for kids like them--East River--they must evade their determined pursuers, including an organization that will stop at nothing to use Ruby in their fight against the government. But as they get closer to grasping the things they've dreamed of, Ruby will be faced with a terrible choice, one that may mean giving up her only chance at a life worth living.

2015 version published on 12/29/14. Need a good way to remember that the word "prodigal" means "wasteful"? Just think ofprada gal - a girl who spends all of her money on designer clothes. Brian McElroy (Harvard, '02) and Vince Kotchian (Boston College, '97), two of San Diego's most sought after test-prep tutors, provide a series of clever, unconventional, and funny memory devices aimed toward helping you to improve your vocabulary and remember words long-term so that you don't ever forget their meanings. Brian and Vince, combined, have been tutoring the test for over 20 years. They have analyzed all available official GRE tests to select the words that appear in this book. The vocabulary words in this book are best suited for students at a 9th-grade level or above. The words in this edition are specifically targeted toward the GRE exam, but they are also helpful for students who are preparing for other standardized tests such as the SAT, ACT, ISEE, SSAT, GMAT, LSAT or MCAT, or anyone at any age who simply wants to improve his/her knowledge of English vocabulary. Disclaimer: a few of our mnemonics might not be appropriate for kids – some contain adult language or situations. Over 950 of the words in this book appear in our other mnemonics book,SAT Vocab Capacity. So if you're easily offended, the SAT version might be a better choice. Why This Book Is Different If you're studying for the GRE, SAT, or for any other standardized test that measures your vocabulary, you may be feeling a little bit anxious – especially if you've taken a practice test and encountered words you didn't know (or maybe never even saw before)! Whether you have seven days or seven months to prepare for the test, you're going to want to boost your vocabulary. But it's not that simple – you've got to remember the words you learn. And on many GRE text completion and sentence equivalence questions, getting the right answer comes down to knowing the precise definition of the words. You could make vocabulary flashcards. You could look up words you don't know. You could read a book with lots of big words. But unless you give your brain a way to hold on to the words you learn, it will probably have a harder time remembering them when they appear on the test. That's the problem with most vocabulary books: the definitions and sentences in the books aren't especially memorable. That's where this book is different. We've not only clearly defined the words but we've also created sentences designed to help you remember the words through a variety of associations - using mnemonics. Mnemonic Examples A mnemonic is just a memory device. It works by creating a link in your brain to something else, so that recall of one thing helps recall of the other. This can be done in many ways – but the strongest links are through senses, emotions, rhymes, and patterns. Consider this example: Quash (verb): to completely stop from happening. Think: squash. The best way to quash an invasion of ants in your kitchen is simple: squash them. Now your brain has a link from the word quash (which it may not have known) to the word squash (which it probably knows). Both words sound and look the same, so it's easy to create a visual and aural link. If you picture someone squashing ants (and maybe get grossed out), you also have another visual link and an emotional link. Here's another example: Eschew (verb): to avoid. Think: ah-choo! Eschew people who say "ah-choo!" unless you want to catch their colds. The word eschew sounds similar to a sneeze (ah-choo!), so your brain will now link the two sounds. If you picture yourself avoiding someone who is about to sneeze in your face, even better! Again, the more connections you make in your brain to the new word, th

Dave has the usual adolescent problems, mitigated by the consoling company of his cat. Recounted with humor and a realistic teenage voice, this Newbery Award winner unfolds amid the excitement of 1960s New York City. "Superb." — The New York Times.