David Gershwin's summer is about to take a turn for the weird. When his dad's new patient Zelda tells him shes from outer space and on a quest to take Johnny Depp back to her planet, he knows he should run away screaming. But with one look from her mean, green eyes, David's hooked, and soon he's leaping across rooftops, running from police, and stealing cars just to stay by her side. He might not be a typical hero, but David's going to get the girl even if it takes him to the ends of the earth—or beyond.

Fourteen-year-old David, the son of a famous French psychologist, falls in love with Zelda, a new patient who believes she is from outer space, and soon they are tearing through Paris in search of her chosen one, Johnny Depp, so that she can take him to her home planet, Vahalal.

This guide offers exciting new reading paths for students who enjoy fantasy, science fiction, and paranormal themes. With over 350 titles organized into their primary appeal characteristics and scores of thematic lists, librarians and educators will benefit from lists of contemporary selections specifically written for teens. Interest in teen fiction has grown in popularity in the last decade, especially within the fantasy and paranormal genres. This timely guide is one of the few books on the subject that lists titles that are written specifically for teens. Read On...Speculative Fiction for Teens features popular, contemporary themes ranging from vampire love and ghost stories to epic fantasy and out-of-this-world science fiction. Each of the five chapters caters to a specific area of interest—story, character, setting, mood, and language—and within the chapter, numerous lists of novels are organized by topic, with the best titles highlighted. Each of the more than 350 listed titles includes bibliographic information and a brief, punchy description.

For fans of Goosebumps and other young horror titles, here is the first book of The Goolz Next Door series. When horror novelist Frank Goolz and his daughters, Ilona and Suzie, move next door, twelve-year-old Harold is only hoping to make exciting new friends. But he soon learns that Frank's books are actually based on real-life paranormal adventures. Suddenly a gift from Ilona seems much more dangerous than he ever imagined. Could it be fulfilling his darkest wishes? Twelve-year-old Harold Bell lives a pretty normal life in his little seaside town. He fills his days with reading books, cruising down the boardwalk, and--unfortunately--trying to stay off the radar of Alex Hewitt and his pack of goons who can't resist bullying a boy in a wheelchair. But everything changes when famous horror novelist Frank Goolz moves next door with his daughters--beautiful, fierce Ilona and her troublemaking little sister, Suzie. Harold soon learns that life with the Goolz is never quiet and it's definitely not normal. Frank's novels are, in fact, based on his family's real-life paranormal adventures. At their home, lights flash inexplicably, objects move on their own, and grotesque specters appear in the attic. When Ilona gives Harold "the stone of the dead," he knows there's no going back. The stone can make things happen, but its powers can't be controlled. Bullies start vanishing, and it seems to be the work of a terrifying ghost who has attached herself to Harold. Could Harold unknowingly be causing the stone to fulfill his own darkest wishes?

The Best Resource Available for Finding a Literary Agent! No matter what you're writing--fiction or nonfiction, books for kids or adults--you need a literary agent to secure a book deal. The 2013 Guide to Literary Agents is your essential resource for finding that literary agent--without fear of being scammed--and getting your book published. This new, updated edition of GLA includes: • Completely updated contact and submission information for more than 1,000 literary agents seeking new clients. • Craft and business advice from more than 35 literary agents--on topics such as query letters, children's books, synopses and proposals, memoir writing, first chapters, conferences, platform and more! • 12 "Breaking In" success stories from debut writers who explain how they got their books published. Includes "New Agent Spotlights"--profiles on literary reps actively building their client list right now. "The Guide to Literary Agents was an indispensable tool for me when I was querying agents. I highly recommend it for any aspiring author--in addition to a comprehensive listing of literary agents, it contains valuable information about the query and submission process." --Darien Gee, author of Friendship Bread: A Novel "I just signed with literary agent Chip MacGregor, and I came upon him through the Guide to Literary Agents. If not for GLA, I'd probably still be looking." --Les Edgerton, author of Hooked as well as several novels PLEASE NOTE: Free subscriptions are NOT included with the e-book edition of this title.

The most trusted guide to the world of children's publishing! If you write or illustrate for young readers with the hope of getting published, the 2014 Children's Writer's & Illustrator's Market is the trusted resource you need. Now in its 26th edition, CWIM is the definitive publishing guide for anyone who seeks to write or illustrate for kids and young adults. Inside you'll find more than 650 listings for children's book markets (publishers, agents, magazines, and more)--including a point of contact, how to properly submit your work, and what categories each market accepts. You'll also find: • Interviews with some of today's hottest authors and illustrators, including author R.L. Stine (the Goosebumps series), author Marie Lu (Legend), author Beth Revis (Across the Universe), and illustrator Debbie Ridpath (I'm Bored, written by Michael Ian Black). • The ever-popular "First Books" article, where debut writers and illustrators explain what they did right and how you can follow in their footsteps to success. • In-depth articles on picture books, query letters, novel voice, author platform, the status of indie-publishing, literary agents, and more. Includes "New Agent Spotlights"--profiles on literary reps actively seeking new writers of children's books right now. "I buy a copy of Children's Writer's & Illustrator's Market every single year. It's the definitive, must-have resource for children's publishing." --Jesse Klausmeier, author of the picture book Open This Little Book "Children's Writer's & Illustrator's Market is a great resource for artists and writers who are ready to share their talent with the world." --Meg Cabot, author of The Princess Diaries

In this second book in the comic-horror The Goolz Next Door series, twelve-year-old Harold and his quirky neighbors contend with a legendary monster that lives in the nearby Mallow Marsh. Immediately picking up where A Bad Night for Bullies left off, Harold is now an official member of the Goolz team, comprised of eccentric horror author Frank Goolz and his daughters Suzie and Ilona (who is also Harold's kinda-sorta girlfriend). A set of twins has come to the Goolz for help in finding their missing mother, whom they believe has been taken by the monster rumored to live in the Mallow Marsh. When the (very real) monster bites Harold, his bizarre symptoms cause him to fear he is transforming into a monster himself. Then Suzie is taken, and it's up to Harold and Ilona to save her, prevent the formation of future marsh monsters, and stop Harold's own frightening transformation.

Spartacus embarks upon the adventure of a lifetime when his Human-Cannonball mother is kidnapped by Bartholomew's Circus of the Incredible. It's up to Spartacus to be the hero. And he definitely doesn't want to be the hero. Armed with the internet-wizardry of his best friend, Eli, Spartacus sets off on a zany rescue mission to save his mom.

On the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? -- infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations. Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians to the media to dead people. Nothing and no one is safe! Despite the current climate of political correctness, Carlin is not afraid to take on controversial topics: Carlin on the media: The media comprises equal parts business, politics, advertising, public relations, and show business. Nice combination. Enough bull for Texas to open a chain of branch offices. Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Carlin on hygiene: When did they pass a law that says the people who make my sandwich have to be wearing gloves? I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want glove residue all over my food; it's not sanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been? Carlin on evasive language: Just to demonstrate how far using euphemisms in language has gone, some psychologists are now actually referring to ugly people as those with "severe appearance deficits." Hey, Doctor. How's that for "denial"? Carlin on politics: No self-respecting politician would ever admit to working in the government. They prefer to think of themselves "serving the nation." To help visualize the service they provide the country, you may wish to picture the things that take place on a stud farm. The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? This brand-new collection tackles all that and more. In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Carlin's razor-sharp observations demolish everyday values and leave you laughing out loud--delivering exactly what his countless fans have been waiting for.

Another Pinkwaterpalooza, jam-packed with off-beat characters and wild happenings for a one-of-a-kind coming of age adventure!