Although no one has ever said that growing old is a zany laugh riot, humor certainly eases the path to and through one’s golden years. And here is a heaping dose of jokes and anecdotes (anecdotes for one’s anec-dotage, you might say) to lighten and brighten the day of anyone who’s reached that certain age. You and the special senior in your life will laugh at jokes about a wide range of subjects, including . . . One-Liners: “I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.” —Andy Rooney Memory: A senior citizen driving on the highway received a cell phone call from his wife. “Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!” The husband replied, “I know, but there isn’t just one—there are hundreds!” Sex and the Senior: An eighty-two-year-old man went to his doctor for a physical. A few days later the doctor saw him walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. Several days later the doctor spoke to his patient and commented, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?” The man replied, “I’m just doing what you said, Doc—‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’” The doctor said, “I didn't say that. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur. Be careful.’” Belly Laughs is a “lode” of fun for the young at heart of all ages, especially the golden age. Remember this bit of sage advice: “If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.”

A simple fitness program that's music to your years . . . A study conducted by the Metropolitan Life Insurance Company shows that orchestra conductors live 38 percent longer than the general population. The reason is simple--conducting is good cardiovascular exercise. In this book, Dr. Dale Anderson has adapted the conducting motion into a fun and easy upper-body fitness program that will help you: Strengthen heart and lungs Improve posture, flexibility, and balance Reduce pain and stress Lose weight Feel better by raising your endorphin level Anyone can benefit from this breakthrough technique--a great alternative to full-body workouts that doesn't require special equipment or a lot of time. The Orchestra Conductor's Secret to Health and Long Life also includes other innovative health advice, supplemental exercises, and suggested music to "conduct" to.

She's lost her soul mate. She doesn't believe you get a second. Will the least likely candidate of all be able to change her mind. Jennie Farrell always believed there was a happily ever after out there for everyone. Shame she’s missed out on her own. Rocking up in London with close friend Samantha, Jennie falls back on her long-ignored artistic skills to make ends meet. Her future is even looking bright when she runs into Rupert Smythe-Brown, an aristocratic prat used to getting his own way, no matter who gets hurt in the process. Painted into a corner, Jennie turns feral and Rupert doesn’t know what’s hit him. Well he does, but for once he’s not enjoying it. Thank goodness she’s got Mark, a strapping six foot four Aussie bloke watching her back and keeping her out of trouble — at least when he’s not trying to get her into it. Brush With Fame is a chuckle along, feel good book for any woman who’s ever wanted to fight back but hasn’t felt strong enough. TRIGGER WARNING: Set in the seventies, the book contains swearing, drinking, and bad behaviour. Please do not read this novel if this will upset you and cause an adverse reaction. This series is full of bad language, bad behaviour and poorly executed Farrah Fawcett hairstyles. While laugh-out-loud at times, the books also touch on real life, making them raw in places.

I Love Horses gathers the most memorable quotes about horses ever written, recorded, or carried down through the ages, together with 50 fantastic photos of the prettiest horses available. Horses bring out the best in us; they inspire adoration and compassion. They have served as both muse and catharsis for artists and writers of all centuries and genres. Horses illuminate the prose of literary giants from Homer and Aesop to Steinbeck and Yeats and in sources that range from the Bible and Dante's Inferno to West with the Night, references to horses are abound. In I Love Horses, humorous remarks from the likes of Groucho Marx and Henny Youngman share the pages with valuable wisdom on training and horsemanship from widely honored trainers, past and present. What living creature is the most noble of all, and has spurred on great minds throughout history from Shakespeare to Winston Churchill? All hippophiles know the answer. It is the horse, of course. For all those in love with this magnificent animal, I Love Horses will reside close to the heart and never be far away. Includes wisdom from: Dave Barry Napoleon Bonaparte Lewis Carroll Geoffrey Chaucer Charles Dickens Emily Dickinson Walter Farley W. C. Fields Ian Fleming Benjamin Franklin Samuel Johnson Nikita Khrushchev Rudyard Kipling Groucho Marx Thomas McGuane Herman Melville Plato Damon Runyon J. D. Salinger William Shakespeare Jonathan Swift Alfred, Lord Tennyson Mark Twain Virgil

A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.

Here are1,237 laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There’s something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue—from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,237 funniest things ever said: “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”—Rita Rudner “I don’t know if it’s good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto.”—Yogi Berra on being told that Joe DiMaggio was to marry Marilyn Monroe “I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.”—Malcolm Forbes “The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then, after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’”—Bill Maher

A compendium of indispensable and inspiring quotes for people during any season of their lives…. The Most Inspiring Things Ever Said is a compendium of human wisdom culled from the world’s most celebrated—and sometimes anonymous—minds. From business figures, coaches and other sports figures, religious and spiritual leaders, educators, political leaders, and anyone who has ever inspired people, it is quite simply the best collection of quotes to inspire readers to new heights of endeavor, or start someone off on the right foot, whether it’s along the road less traveled or the more traditional path.

A nasty insult (is there any other kind?) can be offensive and infuriating, but we’ve all had those moments when we’ve employed one or just wished we had come up with the perfect nasty thing to say. Even better, having the perfect comeback to one of these rude remarks brings us all the personal satisfaction in the world. The Nastiest Things Ever Said gathers together the very sharpest of these barbs from a wide variety of sources with some of the wickedest put-downs from the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, and everywhere else people say nasty things to each other.

The Smartest Things Ever Said is a compendium of human wisdom culled from the world’s most celebrated—and sometimes anonymous—minds. From Confucius and Shakespeare to Maya Angelou and Woody Allen, and from Winston Churchill and Thomas Edison to Jeff Bezos and Jane Fonda, it is quite simply the best collection of the smartest quotes ever.

Captivating and inspiring, Always On My Mind is an unforgettable account of one woman's search for peace during her darkest hours. Set in outback Western Australia, Megan Henry is thrust in to the Indigenous and Maori cultures that surround her, intertwined with the complex history of Australia's shearing industry. Blinded by naïve youth, Megan fails to see that some loves must come at an unimaginable cost. Her delicate heart, her independence and her sanity were all called in to question as her relationship and her life manifest into unhealable pain. In her spiralling demise; anorexia, addiction and suicide became her saviour.