Since leaving his posh position at the Department of Motor Vehicles, Mackelroy Puggsley thought he\'d smelled the last psychotic fart that nearly killed him. But in his new role as a psychologist, he quickly realizes that the problem is more widespread than he thought. Will a crazed client and his two gassy brides prevent the old man from getting one last piece of nookie before he dies? Or will Mackelroy talk his way out of another hazardous situation and live to see another hair pie? For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 3,400 words in all.

Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the good, old doctor to snap. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,300 words. EXCERPT FROM THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC “Doc, you’ve got to help me,” a thin, wiry man named Zack Pimpton bent over the padded table and rubbed his behind. “My ass hurts really, really bad. I think I might have broken it.” A bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. “How did this happen?” Dr. Marsh asked. “I don't know. I was typing up a review when suddenly my butt began to hurt. At first it stung just a little. I tried ignoring it, but it got worse and worse until I eventually found myself here. It's terrible! I can’t believe I was able to drive over here.” He tried sitting and recoiled immediately. “Well, you're in luck! It's nothing life-threatening, that’s for sure, but I'm afraid you won’t have use of your buttocks again,” the portly doctor cracked a smile.

Could the greatest power… The path to riches beyond our wildest imagination… The key to reaching the highest level of spiritual awareness and happiness… …be obtained by bottling farts??? "Shh…it's our secret…" Vlad told the little boy. "Use the power wisely…" Approximately 2,200 words.

Great heavens, the armored kingdoms are under attack! And King Krakken, the domain’s irritable ruler, has an impossible decision. Should he scramble the air ships and meet the encroaching enemy head on or listen to his counsel and hold firm? Either way, the green death is upon him and it’s only a matter of time before he comes face-to-face with the infamous Wind Laten. Approximately 1,600 words. DIAGNOSIS: Less filling. Doesn’t contain many actual farts.

Think you know everything there is to know about mankind's favorite green gas? Well, Donald Rump has something in store for you! Inside, you'll finally get to the bottom of many age-old questions, including: - Where do farts come from? - Are farts people? - Do farts die? - Do all farts go to heaven? - What should I do if a zombie farts on me? - Does inhaling farts cause brain damage? - What if someone steals my farts? - Can farts be used to power my car? - I've run out of farts. Should I dial 911? - Should I join Fartaholics Anonymous? And many, many more! So what are you waiting for? Become a fart expert today! Approximately 11,500 words in all. Intended for readers 15 and up.

AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER AS SEEN ON NETFLIX’S HACK YOUR HEALTH: THE SECRETS OF YOUR GUT “Everything you ever wanted to know about the gut (and then some).” —SELF Discover the secrets of your digestive system—and how to hone a healthy gut—plus new research on the mind-gut connection. With quirky charm, science star and medical doctor Giulia Enders explains the gut’s magic, answering questions like: What’s really up with gluten and lactose intolerance? How does the gut affect obesity? What's the connection between our microbiome and mental health? Why does acid reflux happen? In this revised edition of her beloved bestseller, Enders includes a new section on the brain-gut connection, and dives into groundbreaking discoveries of psychobiotics—microbes with psychological effects that can influence mental health conditions like depression and even stress. For too long, the gut has been the body’s most ignored and least appreciated organ. But it does more than just dirty work; it’s at the core of who we are, and this beguiling book will make you finally listen to those butterflies in your stomach: they’re trying to tell you something important.

A classic work of American literature that has not stopped changing minds and lives since it burst onto the literary scene, The Things They Carried is a ground-breaking meditation on war, memory, imagination, and the redemptive power of storytelling. The Things They Carried depicts the men of Alpha Company: Jimmy Cross, Henry Dobbins, Rat Kiley, Mitchell Sanders, Norman Bowker, Kiowa, and the character Tim O’Brien, who has survived his tour in Vietnam to become a father and writer at the age of forty-three. Taught everywhere—from high school classrooms to graduate seminars in creative writing—it has become required reading for any American and continues to challenge readers in their perceptions of fact and fiction, war and peace, courage and fear and longing. The Things They Carried won France's prestigious Prix du Meilleur Livre Etranger and the Chicago Tribune Heartland Prize; it was also a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Critics Circle Award.

INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER • A bestselling dystopian novel that tackles surveillance, privacy and the frightening intrusions of technology in our lives—a “compulsively readable parable for the 21st century” (Vanity Fair). When Mae Holland is hired to work for the Circle, the world’s most powerful internet company, she feels she’s been given the opportunity of a lifetime. The Circle, run out of a sprawling California campus, links users’ personal emails, social media, banking, and purchasing with their universal operating system, resulting in one online identity and a new age of civility and transparency. As Mae tours the open-plan office spaces, the towering glass dining facilities, the cozy dorms for those who spend nights at work, she is thrilled with the company’s modernity and activity. There are parties that last through the night, there are famous musicians playing on the lawn, there are athletic activities and clubs and brunches, and even an aquarium of rare fish retrieved from the Marianas Trench by the CEO. Mae can’t believe her luck, her great fortune to work for the most influential company in the world—even as life beyond the campus grows distant, even as a strange encounter with a colleague leaves her shaken, even as her role at the Circle becomes increasingly public. What begins as the captivating story of one woman’s ambition and idealism soon becomes a heart-racing novel of suspense, raising questions about memory, history, privacy, democracy, and the limits of human knowledge.