On a nice little De Havilland twin prop, Toronto to Baltimore: "Okay, so we have fifteen of you today. Anyone not flown before? Good. No virgins. Then I'll do the short version. Exits over the wings, life jackets beneath the seats, oxygen masks drop out of the ceiling, put them on in the usual fashion. Seats up. Belts on. Read the cards. Enjoy your flight. Questions?" You're traveling too much when you see the same flight attendant twice in the same day. Tower: "Cleared to land; winds 270 at 21, gusting 29, heavy rain, severe turbulence below 300, RVR (runway visual range) 2,000 feet." Pilot: "Roger. Cleared to land; and Oh, let us know if it gets any worse." Tower: "Worse?" Jet Lag: "Wallet in refrigerator. Where's the milk?" "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight." "We're ready to begin boarding Flight 1234 with service from Miami to Atlanta. Due to a weight problem with the aircraft, we are going to limit you to one piece of carry-on luggage. Any additional items will have to be checked." After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant came on with: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash has brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. Once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal." Two airline mechanics were working on a 747 when lunchtime came. Rather than leave what they were doing, they just took their lunch break while sitting in the cockpit. As they were eating lunch, one mechanic bet the other that the landing gear wouldn't retract if he pulled the gear lever up. He lost. Near the conclusion of an extremely turbulent American Airlines flight, a cabin attendant finished his "stowed-tray-table-and-upright-seat" speech with a cheerful, "We'd like to thank you for flying American Airlines. But if you were displeased with the flight, thank you for flying United."

Frequent flying is often dreary. Sometimes unpleasant. Sometimes in extremis. This is the antidote. Frequent Flyer Humor and One-Upmanship is a collection of humorous or incongruous short stories and one-liners. It's to give you smiles and chuckles punctuated by an occasional knee- slapping guffaw. It starts with reservations and ends with landings. There's an occasional side trip along the way in case flying is more interesting than taking a ride on a winged bus. One-Upmanship because some of the information is somewhat sophisticated and may be unknown. Frequent Flyer Humor was created for you by a former frequent flyer. Been there, done that, it's happened to me. Table of Contents Reservations Check-in Baggage Boarding Passengers Flight Attendants Airports Airlines Aircraft Aircraft Maintenance Lingo Decoded Flight Training Pilots Pilot Quotes Flying Military Air Control Tower Landings

To Be Real: Truth and Racial Authenticity in African American Standup Comedy examines Black standup comedy over the past decade as a stage for understanding why notions of racial authenticity--in essence, appeals to "realness" and "real Blackness"--emerge as a cultural imperative in African American culture. Ethnographic observations and interviews with Black comedians ground this telling, providing a narrative arc of key historical moments in the new millennium. Readers will understand how and why African American comics invoke "realness" to qualify nationalist 9/11 discourses and grapple with the racial entailments of the war, overcome a sense of racial despair in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, critique Michael Richards' ["Kramer's"] notorious rant at The Laugh Factory and subsequent attempts to censor their use of the n-word, and reconcile the politics of a "real" in their own and other Black folks' everyday lives. Additionally, readers will hear through audience murmurs, hisses, and boos how beliefs about racial authenticity are intensely class-wrought and fraught. Moreover, they will appreciate how context remains ever critical to when and why African American comics and audiences lobby for and/or lampoon jokes that differentiate the "real" from the "fake" or "Black folks" from so-called "niggahs." Context and racial vulnerability are critical to understanding how and why allusions to "racial authenticity" persist in the African American comedic and cultural imagination.

If you are a Frequent Flyer or an In-frequent Flyer, this humorous book about flying is for you! The author spent many hours in the air as a Frequent Flyer and while in the air, he wrote down his experiences which enabled him to write this book. Here comes the Jet - hear the roar, Goodbye Honey - I'm out the door, See you in a week - maybe more. It really depends on my direction, and if I can make my connection. Dallas - Seattle - Portland - LA, that's not bad in a single day. I've logged more miles than an Astronaut, And here's some things that I've been taught. I can fasten my seat belt in a flash, Buy cocktails with expense account cash. Eat a meal from a plastic tray, or hear the pilot come on and say..... ....."We're expecting some turbulance....a little rough air...so we advise you to keep your seat belt fastened and not leave your chair. Be calm...there's really no cause for alarm...by the way, we're running a little behind today. We'll only be an hour or so late but you shouldn't have any trouble making your gate. When we get the airport in sight, we'll advise you more about your connecting flight!" I guess by now you think I'm a liar but all I am is a FREQUENT FLYER! Written by the Author at 30,000 feet The book contains humorous chapters on: You know you're a frequent flyer when....; Frequent Flyer Dictionary; Quotes about flying; Airway Rules; Airline Obituaries; Flight Attendant Humor; and Flying Jokes. Here are a few samples from the chapters in this book: You know you're a frequent flyer when.....You've named your two children Douglas and Boeing.....Your ups and downs in life come from flying through air pockets and thunderstorms....You named your dog 'Delta' and your cat 'United'....You've only put 5,000 miles on your car in 5 years....You rarely see the bottom of clouds. Here are a few samples from the Frequent Flyer Dictionary chapter: -Aisle: Cattle Chute that you are shoved and pushed down when entering or exiting the aircraft; -Overhead Bin: A plastic container that passengers mistake for baggage check-in; -Food Tray: Something that can cause severe shortness of breath when the seat in front of you is suddenly folded down. And from the chapter on "Airway Rules." Here are a few samples: -Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory. -Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first. -The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival. And a few samples from the "Flying Jokes" chapter to keep you laughing: -Why does the Pope kiss the ground each time he lands? Did you ever fly with Alitalia? -A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic. All of a sudden there's a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom, "One of the engines has shut off and we'll be delayed 45 minutes." Suddenly there's another bang and loss of second engine. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expresses his regret that they'll be delayed two hours. Shortly thereafter, there is a third bang and loss of the third engine and the pilot announces that they'll be delayed 3 hours. The blonde then turns to the guy sitting beside her and says, "Man, if the fourth engine shuts off, we'll be up here all day!" This book is a must read for everyone who flies and who wants to experience the therapeutic effects of laughing. This book will keep you laughing long after you've finished reading it.

Bette Davis, whose career spanned almost 50 years and covered theatre, radio, TV and motion pictures, was at one time the first lady of the big screen. Working with such storied performers as Henry Fonda, Humphrey Bogart, and Joan Crawford, and directors Edmund Goulding, William Wyler and Robert Aldrich, Bette Davis provided some of the most memorable performances in movie history. This volume contains detailed analyses of Bette Davis' top twelve films spanning 1938 to 1987 and including The Letter, All About Eve, The Little Foxes, Jezebel, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? and The Whales of August. Each film is discussed in depth, with an examination of its script, direction, camerawork and performances, particularly as they relate to Davis's work. A second group of films, memorable largely for Davis's performance rather than the overall success of the work, are also examined. Special emphasis is placed on the way Davis viewed her own work as well as the detrimental effect her devotion to her career had on her personal life. Appendices contain a list of her marriages and children; her Oscar nominations; a discussion of Davis's missed opportunities; and a partial chronology of her films.

Discover the unique charm, sharp wit, and laugh-out-loud moments of British cinema with "Brit Wit: The 100 Greatest British Comedy Movies of All Time." This delightful book offers a comprehensive look at the films that have defined British humor, from the irreverent brilliance of Monty Python and the Holy Grail to the romantic hilarity of Four Weddings and a Funeral and the suburban shenanigans of Shaun of the Dead. Each chapter delves into a different movie, exploring the cultural significance, memorable moments, and comedic genius behind these timeless classics. Whether it's the dark satire of The Ladykillers or the heartwarming charm of The Full Monty, this book covers the full spectrum of British comedy, celebrating the films that have made audiences laugh for generations. Perfect for cinephiles, comedy fans, and anyone who appreciates the subtlety and wit of British humor, "Brit Wit" is your ultimate guide to the best of British comedy cinema. Take a journey through the laughter and tears, the absurdity and the brilliance, and discover why these films continue to hold a special place in the hearts of audiences around the world.

"Kauffman has done something remarkable with The Gunners . . . She's made spending time with [her characters] not just tolerable but delightful. And she's achieved this not by manufacturing likability, but by so convincingly rendering the affection between them that you accept each character's foibles as readily as they do one another's . . . There's so much generosity and spirit and humor shared by whatever characters are on the page at any given time that I was always happy to accompany them." —The New York Times Book Review Following her wonderfully received first novel, Another Place You’ve Never Been, called “mesmerizing,” “powerful,” and “gorgeous,” by critics all over the country, Rebecca Kauffman returns with Mikey Callahan, a thirty–year–old who is suffering from the clouded vision of macular degeneration. He struggles to establish human connections—even his emotional life is a blur. As the novel begins, he is reconnecting with “The Gunners,” his group of childhood friends, after one of their members has committed suicide. Sally had distanced herself from all of them before ending her life, and she died harboring secrets about the group and its individuals. Mikey especially needs to confront dark secrets about his own past and his father. How much of this darkness accounts for the emotional stupor Mikey is suffering from as he reaches his maturity? And can The Gunners, prompted by Sally’s death, find their way to a new day? The core of this adventure, made by Mikey, Alice, Lynn, Jimmy, and Sam, becomes a search for the core of truth, friendship, and forgiveness. A quietly startling, beautiful book, The Gunners engages us with vividly unforgettable characters, and advances Rebecca Kauffman’s place as one of the most important young writers of her generation. "A moving novel . . . Each character comes to terms with their dark past, and uncertain futures—like an intimate hangout session, dashed with suspense and few extra layers of emotional beauty. You'll find yourself thinking of Freaks and Geeks, The Big Chill, and maybe all those friends you've been meaning to text." —Entertainment Weekly, The Must List

This resource provides all the benefits of the "Writer's Market" book, plus a yearlong subscription to an updated Web site with all the relevant information writers need.

Christianity and the Culture Machine is a precedent-shattering approach to combining theories of media and culture with theology. In this intensive examination of Christianity's role in the cultural marketplace, the author argues that Christianity's inability to effectively contest the ideology of secular humanism is not a theological shortcoming, but rather a communications problem: the institutional church is too wedded to an outmoded aesthetic of Christianity to communicate effectively. Privileging authority and obedience over the egalitarian and transformative goal of Christianity, the church fails to recognize how it undermines the vitality of the Christian narrative and message. In the absence of a more compelling vision offered by the official church, a new aesthetic can be found forming within the margins of popular culture texts. Despite its past failures in representing the Bible in mainstream film and television, the culture industry now offers more compelling versions of core Christian theology without even realizing it--within the margins of the main storylines. This book analyzes the aesthetic principles employed by these appropriations and articulations of Christian discourse as a means of theorizing what a new aesthetic of Christianity might look like.