After a riotous debut collection, Ant Farm, Simon Rich returns to mine more comedy from our hopelessly terrifying world. In the nostalgic opening chapter, Rich recalls his fear of the Tooth Fairy (“Is there a face fairy?”) and his initial reaction to the “Got-your-nose” game (“Please just kill me. Better to die than to live the rest of my life as a monster”). He gets inside the heads of two firehouse Dalmatians who can’t understand their masters’ compulsion to drive off to horrible fires every day (“What the hell is wrong with these people?”). And in the final chapter, he tackles one of life’s biggest questions: Does God really have a plan for us? Yes, it turns out. Now if only He could remember what it was. . . .

Many gardeners fear chickens will peck away at their landscape, and chicken lovers often shy away from gardening for the same reason. But you can keep chickens and have a beautiful garden, too! In this essential handbook, award-winning garden designer Jessi Bloom offers step-by-step instructions for creating a beautiful and functional space and maintaining a happy, healthy flock. Free-Range Chicken Gardens covers everything a gardener needs to know, from the basics of chicken keeping and getting them acclimated to the garden, to how to create the perfect chicken-friendly garden design and build innovative coops.

Maintain a beautiful garden with chickens? Easy. Chickens are great gardening assistants, with lots of benefits for a home garden and landscape—from soil-building to managing pests and weeds. Home gardens can be great chicken habitats if designed well, and Gardening with Free-Range Chickens For Dummies provides a plain-English guide with step-by-step guidance for creating a gorgeous chicken-friendly landscape that helps the chickens and the garden thrive. Gardening with Free-Range Chicken For Dummies offers guidance and step-by-step instructions for designing and implementing a host of different chicken garden plans. Plus, you'll get detailed information on the best plants and landscaping materials for your chicken garden (and the ones to avoid), seasonal considerations, attractive fencing options, predator and pest control, and much more. An excellent supplement to Raising Chickens For Dummies and Building Chicken Coops For Dummies A plain-English guide with step-by-step guidance for creating a chicken garden Advice on how to manage chickens while maintaining a beautiful garden If you're looking for step-by-step advice on building a chicken garden, Gardening with Free-Range Chickens For Dummies has you covered.

A proven production model is described, which is capable of producing an income from a small acreage of equal or superior to that of off-farm jobs.

It's drinks, it's chickens: It's the cocktail book you didn't know you needed! To add some extra happy to your happy hour , invite a chicken and pour yourself a drink. Author Kate Richards serves up cocktails made for Instagram with the spoils of her Southern California garden, chicken friends by her side. Enjoy any (or all) of the 60+ deliciously drinkable garden-to-glass beverages, such as: Lilac Apricot Rum Sour Meyer Lemon + Rosemary Old Fashioned Rhubarb Rose Cobbler Blackberry Sage Spritz Cantaloupe Mint Rum Punch Cocktails are arranged seasonally, and are 100% accessible for those of us without perpetually sunny backyard gardens at our disposal. Drinking with Chickens will quickly become a boozy favorite, perfect for gifting or for hoarding all for yourself. You don't need chickens to enjoy these drinks or the colorful photos, but be careful, because you may even find yourself aspiring to be, as Kate is, a home chixologist overrun by gorgeous, loud, early-rising egg-laying ladies, and in need of a very strong drink.

Free range poultry sounds simple - and it can be given the right skills and reasonable expectations. This book has been written to provide easily consumed technical information and real-life examples from growers who range from large scale production to mixed farming of meat and egg production to help you get started in free range poultry. Topics covered include: - Sourcing stock - Pastures for poultry - Health management - Biosecurity - Regulations Plus nine case studies. Each case study is unique—just as your enterprise will be. The examples we use range from large-scale, highly sophisticated production and marketing units to a farm with an eclectic mixture of meat and egg organic production, and all points in between. AgGuides are compiled by highly regarded industry experts to provide easy to follow advice on agriculture and support the Tocal College external study program for agriculture. AgGuides are compiled by highly regarded industry experts to provide easy to follow advice on agriculture and support the Tocal College external study program for agriculture.

With humor and pathos, Forrest Pritchard recounts his ambitious and often hilarious endeavors to save his family’s seventh-generation farm in the Shenandoah Valley. Through many a trial and error, he not only saves Smith Meadows from insolvency but turns it into a leading light in the sustainable, grass-fed, organic farm-to-market community. There is nothing young Farmer Pritchard won’t try. Whether he’s selling firewood and straw, raising free-range chickens and hogs, or acquiring a flock of Barbados Blackbelly sheep, his learning curve is steep and always entertaining. Pritchard’s world crackles with colorful local characters—farm hands, butchers, market managers, customers, fellow vendors, pet goats, policemen—bringing the story to warm, communal life. His most important ally, however, is his renegade father, who initially questions his son's career choice and eschews organic foods for the generic kinds that wreak havoc on his health. Soon after his father’s death, the farm becomes a recognized success and Pritchard must make a vital decision: to continue serving the local community or answer the exploding demand for his wares with lucrative Internet sales and shipping deals. More than a charming story of honest food cultivation and farmers’ markets, Gaining Ground tugs on the heartstrings, reconnecting us to the land and the many lives that feed us.

Best-selling author Melissa Caughey knows that backyard chickens are like any favorite pet — fun to spend time with and fascinating to observe. Her hours among the flock have resulted in this quirky, irresistible guide packed with firsthand insights into how chickens communicate and interact, use their senses to understand the world around them, and establish pecking order and roles within the flock. Combining her up-close observations with scientific findings and interviews with other chicken enthusiasts, Caughey answers unexpected questions such as Do chickens have names for each other? How do their eyes work? and How do chickens learn? Foreword INDIES Silver Award Winner

A companion to Rawlings' Cross Creek--the author's account of her life in a small Florida hamlet--this collection of traditional Southern recipes is spiced with delightful anecdotes and lore. "One of the best and most concentrated and most authentic books on Southern cooking".--Craig Claiborne. Illustrations.

There's no need to choose between chicken keeping and gardening! This book includes a variety of strategies, garden designs, and tips for integrating two popular hobbies.