On Valentine's Day, after a night of red wine and pasta and planning for their future, Natasha Sholl and her partner Rob went to bed. A few hours later, at the age of 27, his heart stopped. Found, Wanting tells the story of Natasha's attempt to rebuild her life in the wake of Rob's sudden death, stumbling through the grief landscape and colliding with the cultural assumptions about the 'right way' to grieve. It is a memoir about falling in love in the aftermath of loss, and what it means to build a life in the space that death leaves. Furious and passionate, bracingly honest and beautiful, Found, Wanting is above all, a memoir about living and making sense of the multitude of lives within us. PRAISE FOR FOUND, WANTING 'what she shares with the reader is profound, necessary and also, at times, funny and quite beautiful.' - Jason Steger, The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald 'Forthright, compelling and at times darkly funny, it's a thoughtful and beautifully written reflection on the ways Sholl came undone' - The West Australian 'Sholl has given us a beautifully written memoir that powerfully delivers the wisdom each of us will need at some point about how a human life is spacious enough to accommodate both grief and joy.' - Sarah Krasnostein, author of The Trauma Cleaner 'Sholl is a stunning writer and observer of the human condition. Gripping, candid and tender, Found, Wanting is for anyone who knows the loneliness of loss.' - Jessie Stephens, author of Heartsick 'that's what makes this book such an unexpected pleasure to read. Natasha's attitude, her unique turns of phrase, and her deep honesty shine through, making a story that could be heavy with sadness, actually hope-filled and oftentimes funny.' - The Australian 'Sholl writes with dignity and thoughtfulness.' - The Sydney Morning Herald 'Sholl's forthright nature and hard-won wisdom is at the heart of why I was riveted by Found, Wanting. Her honesty is fearless and relatable, and there is something so heartachingly vulnerable about the unspeakable thoughts and undignified moments that she relates here' - Jackie Tang, Readings Monthly 'Found, Wanting's relentless and heartbreaking depiction of loss could've been unbearable were it not for the moving beauty of the writing.' - Allee Richards, Kill Your Darlings

Death isn’t unusual in the back of an ambulance—or is it? Author Sean Fitzmorris draws on his many years of experience as a paramedic and a nurse to tell the story of Found Wanting. Marc is a veteran paramedic in New Orleans. Years of dealing with the worst of society have hardened him and left him with a dark secret. His partner, Brian, is a brand -new EMT who wants only to help everyone. Follow Marc and Brian as they respond to 911 calls. It’s hard for Brian to keep his positive outlook, but what will he do when he begins to get suspicious at the unusual deaths in his ambulance?

Richard Eusden is on his way to work in London one unremarkable winter morning when he is intercepted by his ex-wife, Gemma. She has sad news of his old friend, Marty Hewitson. Marty is dying, but needs a favour done for him at once. Eusden reluctantly agrees and sets off on what should be a simple errand. But soon it turns into a race for life, his and Marty’s, across Belgium, Germany and Denmark and on into the Nordic heart of a mystery that somehow connects Marty’s long dead grandfather, Clem Hewitson, an Isle of Wight police officer, with the tragic fate of the Russian Royal Family. Eusden discovers to his dismay that he can trust no-one, not even an old and dying friend, in a battle for survival with those who are determined to steal the secret they believe he and Marty hold — and will kill for it if they have to.

Richard Eusden is on his way to work in London one unremarkable winter morning when he is intercepted by his ex-wife, Gemma. She has sad news of his old friend, her other ex-husband, Marty Hewitson. Marty is dying, but needs a favour done for him - now, today, at once. Eusden reluctantly agrees and sets off on what should be a simple errand. But, soon it turns into a race for life, his and Marty's, across Belgium, Germany and Denmark and on into the Nordic heart of a mystery that somehow connects Marty's long dead grandfather, Clem Hewitson, an Isle of Wight police officer, with the tragic fate of the Russian Royal Family. Eusden discovers to his dismay that he can trust no-one, not even an old and dying friend, in a battle for survival with those who are determined to steal the secret they believe he and Marty hold - and will kill for it if they have to. Every move Eusden makes threatens to be a step into disaster. But, move he must - in pursuit of the truth, on the heels of history. It is his only hope.

Sasha Rouge Miel shares her journey of returning home to New Zealand and facing her seemingly mammoth task of putting her life back together again. Join her as she makes a path through the wilderness, wrestling with anxieties, beliefs and her past to entering into the wide open spaces of self-acceptance.