'Authority and rigour ... great generosity and gentleness. The authors diagnose a critical problem in the church and offer practical advice on how to fix it.' Andrew Graystone, theologian, broadcaster and communications consultant ‘Every time he wanted me to do something, he would quote scripture... I couldn’t argue with scripture, it was like arguing with God.’ The term ‘spiritual abuse’ is widely used across the Christian community. But what is it? Sometimes spiritual abuse involves leaders misusing their position, but ministers can also be the victims. Common factors include control through misuse of scripture, claims to divine authority, pressure to conform, and enforced accountability. Individuals may be isolated, and compelled to secrecy and silence. Drawing on a combination of extensive research, individual testimonies, and years of hands-on experience, Lisa Oakley and Justin Humphreys describe clearly the nature of spiritual abuse, and the best ways of countering it. Recovery is possible. But – how do we prevent spiritual abuse in the first place? What can leaders do to create safer places? Is there a link between theological ideas and harmful behaviours? How can leaders create opportunities for spiritual and emotional flourishing? Dr Lisa Oakley has researched spiritual abuse in the Christian faith in the UK since 2003. Justin Humphreys is chief executive of the safeguarding charity thirtyone: eight.

Providing a balance of empirical research and practical concerns, this book explores the definitions and historical context of spiritual abuse, outlines a process model for the different stages of spiritual abuse and includes strategies for therapists working with survivors of spiritual abuse.

Asserting that spiritual abuse in the church is more common than we realize, Ken Blue examines the causes of spiritual abuse, identifies abusive patterns, offers healing to those who have suffered abuse and describes how leaders should model the gospel of grace.

In a breakthrough book first published in 1991, the authors address the dynamics in churches that can ensnare people in legalism, guilt, and begrudging service, keeping them from the grace and joy of God's kingdom.Written for both those who feel abused and those who may be causing it, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse shows how people get hooked into abusive systems, the impact of controlling leadership on a congregation, and how the abused believer can find rest and recovery.

"Am I the only one who sees this-am I just imagining things? Is something wrong with me ... or could this be abuse?" Maybe you don't know for sure: all you know is something feels off when you think about a certain relationship or interaction with an institution or organization. You feel alone and confused--but calling it "abuse" feels extreme and unsettling, a label for what happens to other people but not you. Yet you can't shake the feeling: something's not right. In his debut book, researcher and advocate Wade Mullen introduces us to the groundbreaking world of impression management--the strategies that individuals and organizations utilize to gain power and cover up their wrongdoings. Mullen reveals a pattern that accompanies many types of abuse, almost as if abusers are somehow reading from the same playbook. If we can learn to decode these evil methods--if we can learn the language of abuse--we can help stop the cycle and make abusers less effective at accomplishing destruction in our lives. Something's Not Right will help you to identify and describe tactics that were previously unidentifiable and indescribable, and give you the language you need to move toward freedom and create a safer future for yourself and others"--

Power has a God-given role in human relationships and institutions, but it can lead to abuse when used in unhealthy ways. Speaking into current #MeToo and #ChurchToo conversations, this book shows that the body of Christ desperately needs to understand the forms power takes, how it is abused, and how to respond to abuses of power. Although many Christians want to prevent abuse in their churches and organizations, they lack a deep and clear-eyed understanding of how power actually works. Internationally recognized psychologist Diane Langberg offers a clinical and theological framework for understanding how power operates, the effects of the abuse of power, and how power can be redeemed and restored to its proper God-given place in relationships and institutions. This book not only helps Christian leaders identify and resist abusive systems but also shows how they can use power to protect the vulnerable in their midst.

'Read this book, and then rethink everything else.' Danielle Strickland 'A feast of insight and reflection on what just leadership should look like.' The Rt Reverend Dr Jonathan Gibbs 'This book will change the way you lead.' The Rt Reverend Dr Emma Ineson, Bishop of Penrith 'A book that should be on the shelves of every leader today.' The Reverend Will van der Hart From #MeToo scandals to revelations of spiritual abuse atrocities in the Church, we've watched too many leaders let us down. What went wrong for these leaders? And more importantly, how can we get it right? Just Leadership offers advice and guidance to empower leaders everywhere to make a difference and answer the call for a fairer, more transparent, more equal society. Drawing on their combined decades of experience in leadership and safeguarding, Justin Humphreys and Simon Barrington explore what it means for a leader to be just, and provide practical ways improve your leadership skills and create a just and open environment. Across the world, there is a heart cry for justice - but often the fight is too focused on the wider cause, bypassing conversations about individual leaders across our churches, organisations, charities and communities. Just Leadership is for every leader - whether you are in Church or other Christian leadership, business or professional leadership or even a leader within your local community - who wants to build their skills and start leading the way to a better future.

Today there are more than five million women and their children are living in a violentrelationship, and this number is increasing as new technology from tracking devices on cell phonesto computer technology allow an abuser to track its' victims every move. Domestic violence and stalking related crimes are being dismissed in a flurry of shuffled divorcedocuments and court orders of protection. You cannot plead with an abuser and walk away frompotentially life threatening situations if you are unable to learn the steps necessary to protect yourself. In this straight forward, clearly written guidebook, veteran violence safety expert Susan MurphyMilano provides victims the tools and support they require to face this debilitating problem andtake the necessary steps to regain control of their lives. Victims and those going through divorce now are able to provide information, in their own words, about the fears, dangers, experiences they have had at the hands of their abuser. Like our own individual fingerprints, no two crimes against a victim are the same. An abuser isclever like a fox and this book will teach you the techniques to be ten steps ahead before a threatagainst your life can be carried out against you or your children. With the Evidentiary Abuse affidavit provided in this book a victim will be able to provide legaldocumentation and answers, allegations and fears that arise when a person has disappeared whenthey announce the relationship is ending, gone missing or have been found dead. You will be ableto properly document and describe: -Threats made against your life or well being, -Incidents of past abuse that a victim had endured -Admissions of how a threat will be carried out against a victim once they announce they are leaving or filing for a divorce -Where evidence or weapons would or could be located -Portray visible injuries or marks -Determine how to begin and continue through the complex maze a victim faces with policeand prosecutors-How to leave a Perpetrator-How to collect evidence "on the fly" How to begin and continue on the road to safety using a virtual toolbox of techniques How family and friends can be crucial in this process Using the creative approaches developed in this ground breaking guide book by Susan Murphy-Milano will take the victims from the State of being controlled to the "State of being in control." Susan is the author of Defending Our Lives, Getting From Domestic Violence and Staying Safeand Moving Out Moving On when a Relationship Goes Wrong Workbook. "There is nothing like this out there. The reason this book is so valuable is that it's the first book to provide step-by step procedures and structure to protect everyone from dangerous and abusive relationships" -Rev. Jennifer Burns Lewis, Pastor

There is a place that promises acceptance, spiritual growth, and friendship, but instead delivers criticism, abuse, and exploitation. A place that declares marriages will be strengthened, treasured, and protected, but instead weakens, diminishes, and marginalizes them. A place that claims to obey the word of God, but in practice weaponizes the word against those who disagree or doubt. A place where the good news of a tenderhearted, loving Savior is blurred by leaders who are controlling, traumatizing, and self-serving. A place that calls loudly to the storm-tossed at sea, only to lure them to the rocks where they flounder and fall apart. A place that appeared to be a house of friendship but was a place of betrayal. That place might be a Christian church. It might be a cult. It is probably both. In the House of Friends: Understanding and Healing from Spiritual Abuse in the Christian Church is written for survivors of abusive churches, their families and friends, and all who want to understand spiritual abuse and help the abused. Dr. Garrett is a long-term pastor of a diverse, urban congregation and combines personal experience, sound academic research, and pastoral theology to address a poorly understood, rarely admitted problem today—spiritual abuse in Christian churches.

In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship. He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about: • The early warning signs of abuse • The nature of abusive thinking • Myths about abusers • Ten abusive personality types • The role of drugs and alcohol • What you can fix, and what you can’t • And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely “This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health