"Providing a religious lens on the topic, this book directly addresses the problem of spousal abuse in the Jewish community. Rabbi Twerski's book was one of the first titles to break open the issue, and this new edition relates the recognition of abuse, the warning signs, and how to respond. With new preface"--

When you are showered with attention, it can feel incredibly romantic and can blind you to hints of problems ahead. But what happens when attentiveness becomes domination? In some relationships, the desire to control leads to jealousy, threats, micromanaging--even physical violence. If you or someone you care about are trapped in a web of coercive control, this book provides answers, hope, and a way out. Lisa Aronson Fontes draws on both professional expertise and personal experience to help you: *Recognize controlling behaviors of all kinds. *Understand why this destructive pattern occurs. *Determine whether you are in danger and if your partner can change. *Protect yourself and your kids. *Find the support and resources you need. *Take action to improve or end your relationship. *Regain your freedom and independence.

In this guide, psychologist Michael Salamon offers definitions of abuse and describes signs that should indicate to parents, teachers, and school officials that abuse might be occurring. Basic information about available methods of treatment is provided and the unique cultural conditions in the Orthodox Jewish community that make prevention and treatment so difficult is discussed.

Learn ways to address domestic and sexual abuse in your community Breaking the cycle of domestic violence and abuse poses unique problems for the Jewish community, owing to the internal divisions of politics, religious practice, and culture. However, creating strategies to work together based upon the shared values of Judaism can strip away those differences. Domestic Abuse and the Jewish Community: Perspectives from the First International Conference brings together an outstanding and diverse selection of notable presentations from the First International Conference on Domestic Abuse in the Jewish Community held in July 2003 in Baltimore, Maryland. The conference, entitled “Pursuing Truth, Justice, and Righteousness: A Call to Action,” brought to the forefront the disturbing, many times hidden issue of domestic abuse within the Jewish community. Respected scholars, clergy, social service professionals, and survivors provide insightful presentations that lay an essential foundation for the building of a collaborative global Jewish movement to respond to this sensitive issue. Domestic Abuse and the Jewish Community: Perspectives from the First International Conference marks the start of a quiet revolution aimed at ending domestic abuse in various Jewish communities by revealing the many facets of the problem while offering ways to address them. Sexual and domestic abuse issues in the Jewish communities of the US, Israel, South Africa and the UK are illuminated and described, and practical strategies are discussed, keeping in mind the common goals within the varied communities. Jewish religious law is reviewed, along with an analysis of Maimomides’ response to domestic abuse, and a vision is offered to respond to child sexual abuse. Domestic Abuse and the Jewish Community: Perspectives from the First International Conference is separated into five categories of presentations: Illuminating the Issue; Healing and Wholeness; Promising Practices; Creating Change; and Breaking the Cycle, each section progressing logically to present a unified discussion of the issues. The book discusses: helping religious women escape domestic abuse the Jewish tradition and the treatment of battered women the widespread claim that Maimonedes condoned wife-battering the spiritual movement called neohasidism the issues of reconciliation between survivors and former perpetrators the Ayelet Program—a project which provides long-term mentoring to past victims starting a new life organizing the community to address domestic violence in immigrant populations the response to domestic violence in the South African Jewish community services for victims in Israel child sexual abuse and incest Domestic Abuse and the Jewish Community: Perspectives from the First International Conference is informative, eye-opening reading for social workers, clergy, direct service providers for survivors of domestic/sexual abuse, directors/staff of Jewish Family Service agencies, Jewish Federations, Jewish women’s organizations, and Jewish foundations.

Table of contents

WINNER OF THE HILLMAN PRIZE FOR BOOK JOURNALISM, THE HELEN BERNSTEIN BOOK AWARD, AND THE LUKAS WORK-IN-PROGRESS AWARD * A NEW YORK TIMES TOP 10 BOOKS OF THE YEAR * NATIONAL BOOK CRITICS CIRCLE AWARD FINALIST * LOS ANGELES TIMES BOOK PRIZE FINALIST * ABA SILVER GAVEL AWARD FINALIST * KIRKUS PRIZE FINALIST NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF 2019 BY: Esquire, Amazon, Kirkus, Library Journal, Publishers Weekly, BookPage, BookRiot, Economist, New York Times Staff Critics “A seminal and breathtaking account of why home is the most dangerous place to be a woman . . . A tour de force.” -Eve Ensler "Terrifying, courageous reportage from our internal war zone." -Andrew Solomon "Extraordinary." -New York Times ,“Editors' Choice” “Gut-wrenching, required reading.” -Esquire "Compulsively readable . . . It will save lives." -Washington Post “Essential, devastating reading.” -Cheryl Strayed, New York Times Book Review An award-winning journalist's intimate investigation of the true scope of domestic violence, revealing how the roots of America's most pressing social crises are buried in abuse that happens behind closed doors. We call it domestic violence. We call it private violence. Sometimes we call it intimate terrorism. But whatever we call it, we generally do not believe it has anything at all to do with us, despite the World Health Organization deeming it a “global epidemic.” In America, domestic violence accounts for 15 percent of all violent crime, and yet it remains locked in silence, even as its tendrils reach unseen into so many of our most pressing national issues, from our economy to our education system, from mass shootings to mass incarceration to #MeToo. We still have not taken the true measure of this problem. In No Visible Bruises, journalist Rachel Louise Snyder gives context for what we don't know we're seeing. She frames this urgent and immersive account of the scale of domestic violence in our country around key stories that explode the common myths-that if things were bad enough, victims would just leave; that a violent person cannot become nonviolent; that shelter is an adequate response; and most insidiously that violence inside the home is a private matter, sealed from the public sphere and disconnected from other forms of violence. Through the stories of victims, perpetrators, law enforcement, and reform movements from across the country, Snyder explores the real roots of private violence, its far-reaching consequences for society, and what it will take to truly address it.

This book--the first of its kind--analyzes how and why cases of child sexual abuse have been systematically concealed in Orthodox Jewish communities. The book examines many such cover-ups in detail, showing how denial, backlash against victims, and the manipulation of the secular justice system have placed Orthodox Jewish community leaders in the position of defending or even enabling child abusers. The book also examines the generally disappointing treatment of this issue in popular media, while dissecting the institutions that contribute to the cover-ups, including two--rabbinic courts and local Orthodox "patrols"--that are more or less unique to Orthodox Jewish communities. Finally, the book explores the cultural factors that have contributed to this tragedy, and concludes with hopes and proposals for future reform.

Inside the closed community of Borough Park, where most Chassidim live, the rules of life are very clear, determined by an ancient script written thousands of years before down to the last detail-and abuse has never been a part of it. But when thirteen-year-old Gittel learns of the abuse her best friend has suffered at the hands of her own family member, the adults in her community try to persuade Gittel, and themselves, that nothing happened. Forced to remain silent, Gittel begins to question everything she was raised to believe. A richly detailed and nuanced book, one of both humor and depth, understanding and horror, this story explains a complex world that remains an echo of its past, and illuminates the conflict between yesterday's traditions and today's reality.

Reprints of the most influential recent work in the field as well as more than a dozen newly commissioned essays explore theoretical issues, current research, service provision, and activism among Latinos, African Americans, Asian Americans, Jewish Americans, and lesbians. The volume rejects simplistic analyses of the role of culture in domestic violence by elucidating the support systems available to battered women within different cultures, while at the same time addressing the distinct problems generated by that culture. Together, the essays pose a compelling challenge to stereotypical images of battered women that are racist, homophobic, and xenophobic.