Dan Zevin, master of "Seinfeld-ian nothingness" (Time), is trying his best to make the transition from couplehood to familyhood. Acclimating to the adult-oriented lifestyle has never been his strong suit, and this slice-of-midlife story chronicles the whole hilarious journey--from instituting date night to joining Costco; from touring Disneyland to recovering from knee surgery; from losing ambition to gaining perspective. Where it's all heading is anyone's guess, but, for Dan, suburbia's calling--and his minivan has GPS. -- Jacket, p. [2].

Mindfulness meets the modern world with this collection of tongue-in-cheek chants for those daily moments that drive us insane. For all of us who've crammed yoga, meditation, and self-care into our lives, there's just one thing missing on our daily slog toward serenity: a laugh. With rainbow-free visualizations ripped from real life, Very Modern Mantras will have you mastering the meditations that really matter, like Mantra for Starbucks; Mantra for the Airport Security Line; Mantra for Open-Plan Office, and Mantra for Public Transportation. Finally, a way to find inner peace without losing your sense of humor.

Rules for Raising Little Girls "As the father of a daughter, I wish I'd read this very funny book sooner, if only to know that it's OK for a grown man to wear a tutu." - Dave Barry "Required reading for any parent who doesn't know pants from leggings." - Dan Zevin, author of Dan Gets a Minivan: Life at the Intersection of Dude and Dad It's easy to imagine how you'd raise a boy--all the golf outings, lawnmower lessons, and Little League championships you'd attend--but playing dad to a little princess may take some education. In Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl, Brian, a father of three girls, shares his tactics for surviving this new and glittery world. From baby dolls and bedtime rituals to potty training and dance recitals, he leads you through all the trials and tribulations you'll face as you're raising your daughter. He'll also show you how to navigate your way through tough situations, like making sure that she doesn't start dating until she's fifty. Complete with commandments for restroom trips and properly participating in a tea party, Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl will brace you for all those hours playing house--and psych you up for the awesomeness of raising a daughter who has you lovingly wrapped around her little finger. "Somehow, Brian Klems has taken one of the most traumatic situations known to a father--having a daughter--and made it into something so completely hilarious you'll laugh until you've got oxygen deprivation!" - W. Bruce Cameron, author of 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter

A heartfelt, daring, divinely hilarious debut novel about a priest who embarks on a fateful journey with a pistol in his pocket and an injured coyote in his backseat. "A beautiful and meditative exploration of shattered faith." —Brit Bennett, author of The Vanishing Half Father Dan is homeless. Dismissed by his conservative diocese for eccentricity and insubordination, he’s made his exile into a kind of pilgrimage, transforming his Toyota Camry into a mobile monk’s cell. Like the ascetic religious philosophers he idolizes, he intends to spend his trip in peaceful contemplation. But then he sees a minivan sideswipe a coyote. Unable to suppress his Franciscan impulses, he takes the wild animal in, wrapping its broken leg with an old T-shirt and feeding it Spam with a plastic spoon. With his unexpected canine companion in the backseat, Dan makes his way west, encountering other offbeat travelers and stopping to take in the occasional roadside novelty (MARTIN’S HOLE TO HELL, WORLD-FAMOUS BOTTOMLESS PIT NEXT EXIT!). But the coyote is far from the only oddity fate has delivered into this churchless priest’s care: it has also given him a bone-handled pistol, a box of bullets, and a letter from his estranged friend Paul—a summons of sorts, pulling him forward. By the time Dan gets to where he’s going, he’ll be forced to reckon once and for all with the great mistakes of his past, and he will have to decide: is penance better paid with revenge, or with redemption? “Hornsby’s ruminative and God-haunted road trip novel is a hidden gem from this dementedly off-kilter year.” —John Francisconi, Buzzfeed

Mothers get the message early and often: push your sons away. Don't keep them emotionally bound to you. Back off, because boys need to learn to stand on their own. Lombardi persuasively argues that much of the entrenched 'wisdom' about mothers and sons is hopelessly outdated. Highlighting new research, she reveals that boys who are close to their mothers are happier, more secure and enjoy stronger connections with their friends and ultimately their spouses. With revealing interviews and moving case studies, Lombardi argues that men need their mother's love.

Available for the first time in eBook from the master of “Seinfeld-ian nothingness” (Time) a comic, not-so-coming-of-age tale of transitioning from his twenties to his thirties, recently optioned by Adam Sandler along with Dan Gets a Minivan. Sooner or later, each of us must face the day we develop a disturbing new interest in lawn care; the day we order Sauvignon Blanc instead of Rolling Rock; the day we refuse to see any concert where we cannot sit down. Sooner or later, each of us must face the day we turn uncool. Dan Zevin, who “was never exactly Fonz-like to begin with,” is having a hilariously hard time moving from his twenties to his thirties, and he confesses everything in these witty, self-deprecating tales. As he shamefully employs his first cleaning lady, becomes abnormally attached to his dog, and commits flagrant acts of home improvement, Dan’s headed for an early midlife crisis—and a better-late-than-never revelation: Growing up is really nothing to be reluctant about. In fact, it’s very cool.

Parody based on a series originally created by Roger Hargreaves.

Superheroes soar in this promising debut—and they’re kids! Twelve-year-old Daniel, the new kid in town, soon learns the truth about his nice—but odd—new friends: one can fly, another can turn invisible, yet another controls electricity. Incredible. The superkids use their powers to secretly do good in the town, but they’re haunted by the fact that the moment they turn thirteen, their abilities will disappear—along with any memory that they ever had them. Is a memory-stealing supervillain sapping their powers? The answers lie in a long-ago meteor strike, a World War II–era comic book (Fantastic Futures, starring the first superhero, Johnny Noble), the green-flamed Witch Fire, a hidden Shroud cave, and—possibly, unbelievably—“powerless” regular-kid Daniel himself. Superhero kids meet comic book mystery in this action-filled debut about the true meaning of a hero.

For Mr. Selfie, "every" op is a photo op as long as he is the one in front of the lens. And also behind it! He risks his job taking selfies at work. He risks his life taking selfies at the zoo. And whenever he feels romantic, he whips out his selfie stick and sexts that special someone: himself. Do you know someone with no selfie-control? Then you'll love Mr. Selfie as much as Mr. Selfie does! Meet his friends from the Little Miss and Mr. ME ME ME parody series: Little Miss Overshare, Mr. Humblebrag and Little Miss Basic!"

Silly Mr. Humblebrag. He has fame, fortune, and a hot fiance, and he can't wait to tell everyone how darn #lucky he is. But what if they hate his guts instead of revel in his success? In this inspiring tribute to false modesty, Mr. Humblebrag learns the mostimportant lesson of all: Everyone loves a winner as long as he acts like a loser. Meet his friends from the Little Miss and Mr. ME ME ME parody series: Mr. Selfie, Little Miss Overshare, and Little Miss Basic "