Here are humorous, cute stories about Catholic school children that are sure to bring a smile to the lips of anyone who has grown up Catholic.

At a certain parish the tabernacle was a wide rectangle set into the wall. One day the primary children were learning about the Mass. At the end of the lesson, Sister asked, "Does anyone have any questions?" With furrowed brow, a child inquired, "Why does Father put Jesus into the microwave?" Kids. You never know what they're going to say next! As educators in America's Catholic classrooms, The Sisters of Notre Dame are no strangers to hilarious mix-ups, priceless mispronunciations, and innocent mistakes like this one. Now they're sharing their over 125-year treasury of funny stories and anecdotes in Why is Jesus in the Microwave? These real-life episodes cover everything from prayer -- "O my God, I am partly sorry." to morality - "Maybe I lie a little bit, but nobody's perfect." to schoolwork -- "Dear Joe, if you die, can I have your report card?" to holidays -- "And where was Baby Jesus born?" "In a haystack." And lots more! Priest or teacher, parent or grandparent, or anyone needing to lose themselves in funny and wholesome stories will enjoy Why is Jesus in the Microwave? It is a joyful reminder that laughter is a gift from God.

This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) Bob Zuppke coached the football Illini for years. In a discussion of football rules, someone described a play and asked whether the officials had made the right call. Before answering, however, Mr. Zuppke asked, "Which team made the foul-Illinois or the other one?" 2) At a Westminster Dog Show in Madison Square Garden, a woman was selling an expensive coat made for dogs. Saying "We want her dog to look as smart as madame," the saleslady held up a pink cocktail coat made out of embroidered silk with a lining of mohair. Sportswriter Robert Lipsyte asked her, "When would a dog wear that?" The saleslady replied, "After five o'clock." 3) Shannon Martin was six years old when she won an age-12-and-under roping contest, for which she was written up in the "Roping Sports News." Because she hadn't learned to read yet, she kept saying to her father, "Come on, Dad. Read it again."

Out of the Mouths of Babes is a charming celebration of the unique, quirky - and usually entirely unintentional - humour of children everywhere, for adults who enjoy seeing the funnier side of life.

"Bride of The Funniest People in Religion and Families" contains such anecdotes as these: When Panamanian salsa singer Rubin Blades married Lisa Lebenzon, an Anglo (a white American not of Spanish descent) non-Spanish speaker, he asked her to learn Spanish so he could speak his native language at home. She finished in only seven months a Spanish course that normally took three years. Dr. Louis Finkelstein, chancellor of the Jewish Theological Seminary of America, kept a strictly kosher diet. While in Paris, he and a group of rabbis ate only in kosher restaurants. On leaving Paris, Dr. Finkelstein joked, "I can't understand all this fuss people make about French cooking. We have the same things at home." A Sufi teacher spoke about the virtue of patience. As he spoke, a scorpion stung his foot repeatedly. His followers eventually noticed the scorpion and asked the teacher why he had not moved his foot away from it. The teacher replied, "I was discussing the virtue of patience. I could hardly have spoken about patience without also setting an example of patience. I would have been ashamed before God."

The book contains essays in honor of Victor Raskin. The contributions are all directly related to some of the major areas of work in which Raskin's scholarship has spanned for decades. The obvious connecting idea is the encyclopedic script-based foundation of lexical meaning, which informs his pioneering work in semantics in the 1970s and 1980s. The first part of the book collects articles directly concerned with script-based semantics, which examine both the theoretical and methodological premises of the idea and its applications. Script-based semantics is the foundation of both Raskin's ground-breaking work in humor research (addressed by the articles in part 2) and in Ontological semantics (addressed in part 3), the most recent development of script-based semantics. The fourth part is dedicated to a less-known, but equally important, strand of Raskin's research, the applications of linguistics to other fields, including writing, lexicography, and professional applications (e,g., tourism). Overall, the book provides and up-to-date, in-depth discussion of an influential strand of the discussion on semantics and its most recent developments and influence on other seemingly unrelated fields, such as Cognitive Linguistics.

Fills a Need: For biblically based, thoroughly researched plays for a general audience. Is Fun: Laugh as members of the body of Christ sing and dance their way into your church. See others--and maybe yourself!--in the kindness of Heart, the gossip of Ear, the pride of Head, and the independence of Eye. Honors Women: Lets Mary tell Joseph of the angel Gabriel's visit. Recognizes Elizabeth's importance; she tells Luke 1 from her perspective. Is Funny: Human beings get in fixes and messes. Watch how God--with gentleness, humor, and tough love--delivers his people time and again. Encourages Participation: Suitable for actors ages nine to ninety-nine! Fosters Dialogue: Each play ends with Questions for Discussion. Shows Theology in the Making: Do theology the Godly way--with boots on the ground! Consider this evangelism model: The disciples have just seen the risen Lord Jesus ascend into heaven and can't wait to tell all Jerusalem! Invites Imagination: The characters in Proverbs gather in the marketplace and tell Simple Youth, a first-year university student, about their lifestyles. Which will he follow? Promotes This Concept: We all play our lives on stage to an audience of One: God.

Me?!? Go to church? Lightning will strike me dead! Me?!? Homeless? Jobless? How did this happen? Me?!? Give money to the church? They are just after my money! Me?!? Go back to school? Become a CPA? I'm over 40! Me?!? Tithe? I give enough! Me?!? Date? How could I ever trust a man again? Me?!? Write a book? I'm a CPA for Heaven's sake! Me?!? Witness? People will think I'm strange! Author Patricia Coury Hartman is, of all things, a CPA. She always sees the lighter side of life, even though she has been through some very deep painful times, including divorce and parenting alone. Her smile and her laughter brighten any room. Her humility shows through in her writing, as she shares transparently how she got to where she is today. She has a gift of taking the complex and making it simple. Her journey has taken her from: [Runaway to Home Again [Liberal to Conservative [Atheist to Christian [Single Mom to Married [Empty Nester [Rebellion to Contentment [Broke to Financially Stable [Bus Driver to CPA [Homeless to Homeowner [Proud to Humble [Lost to Found [Sinner to... well... Grab a cup of coffee and a box of tissues and head for the easy chair. Get ready for times of laughter, reflection and joy...

Kids provide endless material for laughter—and this collection of humor, drawn from the files of The Joyful Noiseletter, is sure to please. Scores of jokes and humorous stories, all relating to the hilarious things kids say and do, are categorized into chapters and accompanied by the cartoons of talented Christian artists. Maybe you’ll see someone you know—even your own family—in this hilarious collection of young’un yuks. Read it with your kids, or give it as a gift to other parents or grandparents. Good Humor: God's Kids Say the Funniest Things is a sure-fire way to relieve the stress of daily life.

A Newbery Honor Book Winner of the Sydney Taylor Book Award An exciting and hilarious medieval adventure from the bestselling author of A Tale Dark and Grimm. Beautifully illustrated throughout by Hatem Aly! ★ A New York Times Bestseller ★ A New York Times Editor’s Choice ★ A New York Times Notable Children’s Book ★ A People Magazine Kid Pick ★ A Washington Post Best Children’s Book ★ A Wall Street Journal Best Children's Book ★ An Entertainment Weekly Best Middle Grade Book ★ A Booklist Best Book ★ A Horn Book Fanfare Best Book ★ A Kirkus Reviews Best Book ★ A Publishers Weekly Best Book ★ A School Library Journal Best Book ★ An ALA Notable Children's Book “A profound and ambitious tour de force. Gidwitz is a masterful storyteller.” —Matt de la Peña, Newbery Medalist and New York Times bestselling author “What Gidwitz accomplishes here is staggering." —New York Times Book Review Includes a detailed historical note and bibliography 1242. On a dark night, travelers from across France cross paths at an inn and begin to tell stories of three children. Their adventures take them on a chase through France: they are taken captive by knights, sit alongside a king, and save the land from a farting dragon. On the run to escape prejudice and persecution and save precious and holy texts from being burned, their quest drives them forward to a final showdown at Mont Saint-Michel, where all will come to question if these children can perform the miracles of saints. Join William, an oblate on a mission from his monastery; Jacob, a Jewish boy who has fled his burning village; and Jeanne, a peasant girl who hides her prophetic visions. They are accompanied by Jeanne's loyal greyhound, Gwenforte . . . recently brought back from the dead. Told in multiple voices, in a style reminiscent of The Canterbury Tales, our narrator collects their stories and the saga of these three unlikely allies begins to come together. Beloved bestselling author Adam Gidwitz makes his long awaited return with his first new world since his hilarious and critically acclaimed Grimm series. Featuring manuscript illuminations throughout by illustrator Hatem Aly and filled with Adam’s trademark style and humor, The Inquisitor's Tale is bold storytelling that’s richly researched and adventure-packed. “It’s no surprise that Gidwitz’s latest book has been likened to The Canterbury Tales, considering its central story is told by multiple storytellers. As each narrator fills in what happens next in the story of the three children and their potentially holy dog, their tales get not only more fantastical but also more puzzling and addictive. However, the gradual intricacy of the story that is not Gidwitz’s big accomplishment. Rather it is the complex themes (xenophobia, zealotry, censorship etc.) he is able to bring up while still maintaining a light tone, thus giving readers a chance to come to conclusions themselves. (Also, there is a farting dragon.)”—Entertainment Weekly, “Best MG Books of 2016 "Puckish, learned, serendipitous . . . Sparkling medieval adventure." —Wall Street Journal ★ "Gidwitz strikes literary gold with this mirthful and compulsively readable adventure story. . . . A masterpiece of storytelling that is addictive and engrossing." —Kirkus, starred review ★ "A well-researched and rambunctiously entertaining story that has as much to say about the present as it does the past." —Publishers Weekly, starred review ★ "Gidwitz proves himself a nimble storyteller as he weaves history, excitement, and multiple narrative threads into a taut, inspired adventure." —Booklist, starred review ★ "Scatological humor, serious matter, colloquial present-day language, the ideal of diversity and mutual understanding—this has it all." —The Horn Book, starred review ★ "I have never read a book like this. It’s weird, and unfamiliar, and religious, and irreligious, and more fun than it has any right to be. . . . Gidwitz is on fire here, making medieval history feel fresh and current." —School Library Journal, starred review