This book is not about poetry; it is simply a book to read while one relieves him or herself in the latrine, bathroom, head, or toilet, while taking a crap, dropping a stool, pinching a loaf, dropping the kids off at the lake, I could go on, but I am sure you get the picture. There are quotes from the stalls of many bathroom walls found all over the world. Now since I am male, I did not have a chance to visit many, if any, female bathrooms (sorry, ladies), so I do not have many quotes from said places. Some subject material may be offensive. Please read with cautious trepidation. Some are personal quotes, things that pop into my brain at any given moment. Sometimes these thoughts are followed by bouts of laughter that cause people that are standing near me to think that I am strange. They usually react by walking away fast. But I decided to add these thoughts to Bathroom Poetry anyways. Some quotes are famous and semifamous quotes. Some are unknown author quotes. Many of the quotes were found on the stalls of bathrooms from all over the globe. I have collected many quotes from memory during my travels around the world while serving twenty-one years in the United States Navy. This book is meant for entertainment value only. Any words of wisdom gleaned while reading this book is pure shit-house luck.

2012 IRA-CBC Children's Choices 2012 Children's Choice Book Award Finalist My teacher's pretty slick, Has a hundred teaching tricks. Even in the bathroom stalls, She hangs poetry on the walls, And while I'm there all alone I can't help but read a poem. From "Gross" and "Flushophobic" to "There's a Sock in the Toilet," these poems will have kids laughing all the way to "The Bathroom Dance!"

Have you ever been punched by a cabbage or fallen head first down the loo? Have you ever had fun with a poem? You haven't? Then this book's for you. Whacky poems that take a roller-coaster ride from the crazy corners of dreams to the big questions of life. This collection of over seventy poems for children by Steve Turner is regularly in the best-seller lists. Full of wit and fun, his thought-provoking poetry has been used by teachers in classrooms and entertained children at home over the years. These poems make an instant impact, as the themes and ideas in them offer lots of food for thought for young minds.

Have you noticed that there is a spirit of praise and worship that comes upon you in the bathroom? Dr. Myles Monroe once said, "I get a lot of revelations in the bathroom. I don't know why God speaks to me in the bathroom." Breakthrough in the bathroom will help you appreciate why a spirit of praise and worship comes upon you in the bathroom and why the bathroom is an altar of sanctification, revelation, and restoration. This book gives an exposition on the following: - The concept of the bathroom as an altar - The prophecy on bathrooms and bathing in the end-time - The unique character of the altar in the bathroom - The miracle of open heavens in the bathroom - How to minister to yourself, your spouse, and children in the bathroom - Avoiding death in a place of life - The beauty and black side of bathroom poetry - Bathing and praying in the bathroom at the hours of prayer - Spiritual breakthroughs in the bathroom - Healing and deliverance in the bathroom The consecrated bathroom will become a spiritual magnet for all who desire a deeper dimension of fellowship with God. Going to the bathroom will no longer be a routine act. It will become a special spiritual phenomenon.

What?s soggy, kind of greenish, and has a funny smell? If you answered ?my toothbrush,? then this book is for you! This comic, kid-centric poetry collection contains twenty-one humorous poems ranging from brushing to bathing to potty-training your baby brother. Alongside Paul Meisel?s hilarious and wry illustrations, these poems are a sure bet for anyone who?s ever waited in line for the loo, shared a sink with a sibling, or just wanted a good laugh.

Poems of heartbreak and sex, self-care and self-critique, urban adventures and love on the road from the millennial quarantine queen and comedy sensation. in L.A. we got naked and swam in the ocean we ate cured meats and carrots & sat in the back of a red pickup truck like we were in a film where two old friends fight & wrestle their way into a hug heave-sobbing as the dust settles I want to be famous for being the first person who never feels bad again In these short, captivating lyrics, Catherine Cohen, the one-woman stand-up chanteuse who electrified the downtown NYC comedy scene in her white go-go boots, and who has been posting poignant, unfiltered poems on social media since before Instagram was a thing, details her life on the prowl with her beaded bag; she ponders guys who call you "dude" after sex, true love during the pandemic, and English-major dreams. "I wish I were smart instead of on my phone," Cat Cohen confides; "heartbreak, / when it comes, and it will come / is always new." A Dorothy Parker for our time, a Starbucks philosophe with no primary-care doctor, she’s a welcome new breed of everywoman--a larger-than-life best friend, who will say all the outrageous things we think but never say out loud ourselves.

A collection of never-before-seen humor pieces—essays, satire, short stories, poetry, cartoons, artwork, and more—from more than 150 of the biggest female comedians today, curated by Amy Solomon, a producer of the hit HBO shows Silicon Valley and Barry. With contributions from: Lolly Adefope • Maria Bamford • Aisling Bea • Lake Bell • Rachel Bloom • Rhea Butcher • Nicole Byer • D’Arcy Carden • Aya Cash • Karen Chee • Margaret Cho • Mary H.K. Choi • Amanda Crew • Rachel Dratch • Beanie Feldstein • Jo Firestone • Briga Heelan • Samantha Irby • Emily V. Gordon • Patti Harrison • Mary Holland • Jen Kirkman • Lauren Lapkus • Riki Lindhome • Kate Micucci • Natalie Morales • Aparna Nancherla • Yvonne Orji • Lennon Parham • Chelsea Peretti • Alexandra Petri • Natasha Rothwell • Amber Ruffin • Andrea Savage • Kristen Schaal • Megan Stalter • Beth Stelling • Cecily Strong • Sunita Mani • Geraldine Viswanathan • Michaela Watkins • Mo Welch • Sasheer Zamata • and many more. More than four decades ago, the groundbreaking book Titters: The First Collection of Humor by Women showcased the work of some of the leading female comedians of the 1970s like Gilda Radner, Candice Bergen, and Phyllis Diller. The book became an essential time capsule of an era, the first of its kind, that opened doors for many more funny women to smash the comedy glass-ceiling. Today, brilliant women continue to push the boundaries of just how funny—and edgy—they can be in a field that has long been dominated by men. In Notes from the Bathroom Line, Amy Solomon brings together all-new material from some of the funniest women in show business today—award-winning writers, stand-up comedians, actresses, cartoonists, and more. Notes from the Bathroom Line proves there are no limits to how funny, bad-ass, and revolutionary women can—and continue—to be.

Knocking on the Body's Door-Poems to Read on the Bathroom Floor is a poetry chapbook by Sita Gaia. While continuing to face seizures into adulthood, this talented writer had to find a way to express from the soul. The honest portrayal of the life of this poet will keep the reader enthralled. Imagine what it would be like to believe you are going to have a simple cup of coffee only to end up with severe burns. At what point would some people find this to be too much? Gaia tells how it is not just for oneself, but to show others that they are not alone.

Animal lovers will laugh out loud at the quirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of funny cats. In this hilarious, bestselling book of tongue-in-cheek poetry. The author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behavior to ignorant humans. With titles like "Who Is That on Your Lap?," "This Is My Chair," "Kneel Before Me," "Nudge," and "Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs," the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat "authors" throughout, this whimsical animal book reveals kitties at their wackiest, and most exasperating (but always lovable). Ideal for that "crazy cat lady" or "cat mom/dad" in your life this collection of poems makes for the perfect cat-themed gift for anyone who's obsessed with our feline friends.