There’s a new threat in town – and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless garden decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defence expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system – Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply – for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognising and interpreting the signs of a gathering horde and – in the event that a secured perimeter is breached – confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

Goosebumps now on Disney+! Two pink flamingos. A whole family of plaster skunks. Joe Burton's dad loves those tacky lawn ornaments. But then he brings home two ugly lawn gnomes. And that's when the trouble starts.Late at night, When everyone's asleep. Someone's creeping in the garden. Whispering nasty things. Smashing melons. Squashing tomatoes. No way two dumb old lawn ornaments could be causing all the trouble? Is there?

Move over zombies and adolescent vampires. There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

This is the intriguing story of garden gnomes and how they have come to reside in the flowerbeds of gardens across Britain. Originating in Europe, gnomes made the leap across the channel in the nineteenth century, where they were welcomed warmly by wealthy Brits who saw them as the must-have garden accessory. But the fortunes of the humble gnome were not to last, and they soon found themselves sneered at by serious gardeners. Turned away from fashionable gardens, the little gnomes found a friend in many a working class gardener, who adopted them in increasing numbers, and in a variety of humorous poses. Today, gnomes are as popular with the masses as ever, and this entertaining illustrated history will appeal to those who love, and hate, these small bearded characters.

Just when Zombies life seems to be getting back to normal, it gets turned upside-down again. Adorable little gnomes are appearing on everyones lawns, but nobody knows where they came from or why theyre there. But they seem pretty cute, so Zombie doesnt mind. At the same time, people are mysteriously vanishing into thin air and no-one knows where theyve gone. Can Zombie and his friends uncover where the gnomes are from? Will they find out where people are vanishing to? Will they be able to discover whats going on before its too late?

A humorous guide to surviving in the wilderness, that also might make you want to avoid the wilderness forever. For more than twenty-five years, Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader has helped you learn amazing things you didn’t know. Now, Uncle John will show you how to do things you didn’t know how to do . . . and probably should never, never, never actually do, unless you’re in a survival situation and really, really, really need to do. It’s How to Fight a Bear . . . and Win. A new approach to survival guides and how-to books, this book provides step-by-step instructions for how to make do in any rugged terrain. But if you’re expecting “how to start a fire,” think again. This isn’t the kind of book that will tell you how to make a fire by rubbing two sticks together—it will tell you how to make a fire using a car battery. It will also tell you: · How to swing from a vine like Tarzan · How to land an airplane in an emergency · How to fight a bear . . . and win · How to perform emergency surgery in the woods · How to identify what insects you can—and cannot—eat And lots, lots more

Goosebumps now on Disney+! PUMPKIN POWER!Nothing beats Halloween. It's Drew Brockman's favorite holiday. And this year will be awesome. Much better than last year. Or the year Lee and Tabby played that joke. A nasty practical joke on Drew and her best friend, Walker.Yes, this year Drew and Walker have a plan. A plan for revenge. It involves two scary pumpkin heads.But something's gone wrong. Way wrong. Because the pumpkin heads are a little too scary. A little too real. With strange hissing voices. And flames shooting out of their faces...

Although the spirit beings of the four elements of nature have been represented in literature, religion, and folk tales, descriptions of these creatures have been vague, and direct experience with them is quite rare. Yet each of the four elemental kingdoms offers great gifts to humanity, if we are willing to recognize that the psychological and spiritual qualities they embody are already inherent in human nature. Mermaids dwell in the oceans, lakes, and rivers. They offer love and sharing, a sense of wonder, beauty, and innocence. Sylphs roam the sky; they represent harmony, balance, and the attainment of freedom. Gnomes live underground. Their quiet inner wisdom banishes depression and sorrow. Salamanders dwell in volcanoes and vast caverns of magma beneath the earth. They offer the power of intense heat to refine, transform, and integrate. Who are these mysterious creatures of water, air, earth, and fire? Author William Mistele has devoted a significant portion of his life to finding out. Addressing the perennial questions Why are we here? What is the deepest purpose of life? What are our options?, Mermaids, Sylphs, Gnomes, and Salamanders takes the reader directly into the realms of these spirits, telling stories from their perspective. Weaving together fairy tales and poems, thoughtful analysis, and meditative exercises, Mistele illuminates the qualities these beings have mastered and humanity must begin to embrace: empathy, an inner peace with the universe, a divine level of sensuality, and a love that is everywhere in every moment.

Goosebumps now on Disney+! The infamous, Most Wanted Goosebumps characters are out on the loose and they're coming after you! There is no place to hide. Nothing is safe!Jay Gardner is a mischievous kid who can't stay out of trouble. Unfortunately, Jay gets in so much trouble, his family is forced to move. But there's something odd about Jay's new town. Why does everyone have lawn gnomes in front of their homes? And why is everyone afraid to go outside at night? Jay is about to learn that mischief can lead to terror.

Fans of Mo Willems and Dev Petty's I Don't Want to Be a Frog will love this humorous tale about one gnome's journey to prove he is unlike the other magical creatures in the forest. Join Gnome (that's spelled G-N-O-M-E--don't ask why the G is silent!) as he travels through the magical forest to attend the annual Gnome Festival. Along the way he encounters elves, dwarves, trolls, and fairies. But don't be mistaken. He is NOTHING like those magical creatures. Well, maybe he is . . . but only a little bit! When Gnome finally arrives at the festival, he realizes that all the traits he thought made gnomes different from the others actually made them alike--and that's just fine.