Summer is over and that can only mean one thing for eight-year-old Mallory McDonald (like the restaurant, but no relation) she has to go back to school. But not just any school, a new school with all new kids in it. To make matters worse, her mom is going, too! She s the new music teacher, and Mallory can t think of anything that could possibly be worse until her first day. She has to sit with Pamela, who always says the right thing and steals her ideas. Joey is so busy with his old friends that he has no time for her, and to top it off, she s picked to be an eggplant in the Fall Festival her mom is putting on. It s not fair! What can Mallory do? Should she give Pamela, and her new school, another chance?

Mallory McDonald is turning nine! And she is ready to celebrate getting the past year over—one troubled with moving, starting a new school, making new friends, and sibling rivalry. Mallory wants her ninth birthday to be extra special. So instead of celebrating just one day, she plans an entire “birth month” celebration. But soon, things aren’t going according to plan, and Mallory fears that being nine may be just as difficult as being eight.

It's New Year's Eve and Mallory can't wait to celebrate! Her camp friends are coming to Fern Falls and she and Mary Ann have planned out every last detail for a perfect winter reunion and New Year's Eve party. But what Mallory hadn't planned on is getting sick. Poor Mallory has to ring in the New Year in the hospital instead of at home with her friends and family. Mallory thinks she's missing out on all the fun. Is this the beginning of the worst year ever, or is Mallory in for a big New Year’s surprise?

Mallory McDonald has her eye on the perfect purse, but it’s too expensive and Mallory’s mom is not buying! So Mallory comes up with the perfect plan to get the perfect purse. She’ll just start a business! Yet starting a business isn’t as easy as it seems. Mallory finally earns enough to buy what she wants. But if her business is such as success, why does Mallory feel like such a failure?

Spunky, eight-year-old Mallory McDonald is very unhappy when her parents decide to get her older brother Max a dog. Why would her parents agree to such a thing? Dogs are smelly and bark and chew on things. Plus, they already have a perfectly good cat, Cheeseburger. When they finally get the puppy, it’s worse than Mallory imagined. Everyone loves Champ and he and Max are getting all of the attention. Poor Mallory—now everyone’s mad at her. What should she do?

Mallory has just had the worst Halloween ever, and she's determined to make the next holiday better. She decides the best way to make Thanksgiving a success is to do something that makes other people happy, not just herself. So she starts a food drive at school. The plan is to make sure families in need get a tasty Thanksgiving meal. And Mallory has an idea to get all of her classmates involved: the grade that brings in the most cans will get a week without homework! But when things start to go wrong, will Mallory's plan for a happy Thanksgiving be ruined?

Mallory starts fifth grade and has to adjust to a new teacher, a tough school project, and trouble with her best friend that involves her brother Max.

Bon Voyage! Mallory and her family and friends are setting sail on a cruise. But poor Mallory feels like she's sunk and she hasn't even set sail yet. Her two best friends' parents are getting married and even though Mallory is trying her best to be happy for Mary Ann and Joey, she can't help feeling left out. Can Mallory find a way to be happy for her friends and not feel like a third wheel?

It's a new school year for Mallory and everything's perfect! She has a new computer, a pair of just-right back-to-school shoes, and her best friend, Mary Ann, is in her class. But somehow things go from perfectly good to perfectly bad. Mallory's first crush is the same boy Mary Ann likes—and Mary Ann gets all his attention. And even though she has the right shoes, Mallory somehow gets off on the wrong foot with her teacher, Mr. Knight. Can Mallory find a way to turn things around and put her best foot forward?

“One of our smartest, most inventive humor writers, Ortberg combines bathos and the devotional into a revelation.” —Jordy Rosenberg, The New York Times Book Review From the New York Times bestselling author of Texts From Jane Eyre and Merry Spinster, writer of Slate’s “Dear Prudence” column, and cofounder of The Toast comes a hilarious and stirring collection of essays and cultural observations spanning pop culture—from the endearingly popular to the staggeringly obscure. Daniel M. Lavery is known for blending genres, forms, and sources to develop fascinating new hybrids—from lyric rants to horror recipes to pornographic scripture. In his most personal work to date, he turns his attention to the essay, offering vigorous and laugh-out-loud funny accounts of both popular and highbrow culture while mixing in meditations on gender transition, family dynamics, and the many meanings of faith. From a thoughtful analysis of the beauty of William Shatner to a sinister reimagining of HGTV’s House Hunters, and featuring figures as varied as Anne of Green Gables, Columbo, Nora Ephron, Apollo, and the cast of Mean Girls, Something That May Shock and Discredit You is a hilarious and emotionally exhilarating compendium that combines personal history with cultural history to make you see yourself and those around you entirely anew. It further establishes Lavery as one of the most innovative and engaging voices of his generation—and it may just change the way you think about Lord Byron forever.