"In over 30 years coaching soccer, Dan Woog has seen and done it all. He's taken teams around the world. Dealt with incredible life-and-death situations. Seen every type of player (and parent). Learned what makes teenagers tick. And learned a lot about himself along the way. We kick balls is "funny, warm, courageous and edifying." It ricochets from the World Cup to Dachau, from Pele's house to 9/11. Somehow, soccer connects them all."--P. [4] of cover.

You may fancy yourself a sports fan, but chances are you don't know: A fish eyeball was used as the center of some nineteenth-century baseballs The race to make better billiard balls led to the invention of plastics The Nerf ball was originally created to be part of a board game featuring cavemen Balls are the unsung heroes of sports. They are smacked, flung, dribbled, crushed, thrown, and kicked. They're usually only the subject of scrutiny when something goes wrong: a tear, the application of an illegal foreign substance, or a dent from overuse. Nevertheless, if you're watching nearly any major sporting event from around the world, you're likely following the ball wondering where it will go next... The Secret History of Balls mines the stories and lore of sports and recreation to offer insight into 60 balls-whether they're hollow, solid, full of air, or stuffed with twine or made of leather, metal, rubber, plastic, or polyurethane-that give us joy on playing fields and in every arena from backyards to stadiums around the globe.

A "hilarious and utterly irreverent tale" (Irvine Welsh) of a year in the life of an abrasive pee-wee soccer coach Growing up in Scotland, Alan Black learned that soccer was no mere game; it was a matter of life or death. In this harshly hilarious tale, Black, a Glasglow transplant living in suburban California, coaches the Dragons, a peewee team that proves an embarrassment to his beloved sport. They're pampered. They're soft. They've been told by their overprotective parents that (gasp!) "winning isn't everything." Using drills and bombast, Black attempts to whip the team into shape. Kick the Balls is a sidesplitting memoir of grass stains and free kicks, a no-holds-barred account of one man's bafflement by an alien culture, and a stinging satire of American parenthood. Alan Black's voice-howling from the sidelines-is that rare thing: a fresh, original, winning comic talent.

Not only will Tony have you laughing out loud while he reveals the secrets behind how the human body functions, you will also learn how to teach your clients to look at their own body chemistry to understand the underlying causes of a wide variety of health issues. Beyond learning how to create amazing results with your clients, you’ll also gain insights into methods that can take your business as a health professional to a whole new level.

Nobody ever reads this part of the book. Somebody at the publishing house explained to me that it's actually called the book flap. That sounded dirty, so I giggled for three hours. But it says in my contract that I have to write something over here in this tiny space, even though I don't think anyone will notice. Some people might open up to the middle of the book and start flipping through pages, but nobody will read this part. In fact, I'll bet anything that you're not reading this part now. And if it turns out that you are . . . well, the guy in the bookstore is probably staring at you, saying, "Stop reading that book!" I guess there's a reason bookstores are going out of business, left and right. Cheap fucks like you think it's okay to stand in the aisles and read to your heart's content. So for the sake of bookstores everywhere, buy this fucking book. I myself don't care. I only care about the poor working man. Oh, and the sanctity of the written word. I care about that, too. And in my case, those written words, of course, include fuck, dick, and pussy. In the early 1970s, as our nation's youth railed against every conceivable societal norm, a funny-looking teenage Jew started turning up at open mike nights in various New York City comedy clubs. Surprisingly, he didn't suck. That funny-looking teenage Jew is now the even funnier-looking middle-aged comedian Gilbert Gottfried, who despite his transparent shortcomings has managed to carve out a hardly-respectable career—and a reputation for shock and awe unrivaled outside the Bush administration. With this scathingly funny book of rants and musings, Gottfried sullies an entirely new medium with his dysfunctional worldview. HILARIOUS HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE: • Gut-wrenching stories from his bizarre childhood • A list of celebrities Gilbert would like to have sex with • A somewhat shorter list of celebrities who would like to have sex with Gilbert • An even shorter list of Gilbert's comely co-stars who have been forced to have sex with him on- screen • Side-splitting tales of the worst gigs he's ever performed • Incredibly awkward encounters with famous people from Gilbert's years as a celebrity (of sorts), including Harrison Ford, Keifer Sutherland, Hugh Hefner and one wildly offensive exchange with Marlee Matlin that left the actress speechless • Signature takes on timeless jokes, presented in a clip‘n save format so humorless readers can commit them to memory or tear them from the book's spine and carry them around in their wallets to amuse their friends • The story behind Gilbert's infamous retelling of the classic "Aristocrats" routine that defined the most recent phase of his career • And much more!

For anyone who can't see a ball without wanting to kick it, head it, shoot it, or boot it! 'Not eating an ice-cream Or riding a bike No - kicking a ball Is what I like.' 'What I like best, yes, most of all in my whole life is . . . kicking a ball. A wonderful rhyming story, with narration by Allan Ahlberg himself, Kicking A Ball will not disappoint. First written as a poem, the little boy in the story has been brought to life perfectly by artist Sebastien Braun. Every parent will be able to immediately relate to the simple joy felt by a boy simply kicking a ball, and how there is nothing else quite like it. The incomparable Allan Ahlberg takes us on a journey from childhood to fatherhood full of humour, warmth, friendship . . . and football.

Written in side-splitting and often cringe-inducing detail, Paul Feig takes you in a time machine to a world of bombardment by dodge balls, ill-fated prom dates, hellish school bus rides, and other aspects of public school life that will keep you laughing in recognition and occasionally sighing in relief that you aren’t him. Kick Me is a nostalgic trip for the inner geek in all of us.

Can you catch a ball? What else can you do with a ball? There are lots of different kinds of balls. What games can we play with balls? What do you like to do with a ball?

Betwixt and Between offers new insights into the basic elements of initiations and rites of passage. The absence of these traditional supports creates problems in the lives of those who are caught in the void and lack definite expectations at various times of their lives. The chapters on masculine and feminine initiation provide new and creative concepts and practical possibilities for each of us. Initiation has been a missing component in the modern world and needs to be re-introduced with new understanding and consciousness.