You’ll never be at a loss for words again with this inspired collection of quotes, from bona fide wits to bona fide dimwits. Bob Hope once said, "I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance--waiting for the bathroom." No doubt, lots of people will be learning to tango and foxtrot while they wait for the rabid readers of Uncle John’s Colossal Collection of Quotable Quotes to emerge from the privy. The Bathroom Readers’ Institute searched high and low for the wittiest, wisest and stupidest things ever said, and collected these remarks in one remarkable volume. With more than 4,000 quotations from 1,600 speakers and writers--from bona fide wits like Oscar Wilde and David Letterman, to bona fide dimwits like Britney Spears (who infamously quipped, "I go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.")--there’s no other book of quotations quite like this one.

The wittiest, wackiest, and most popular selections from the last 12 years in the best-selling Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader series. We stuffed the best stuff we’ve ever written into 576 glorious pages. Result: pure bathroom-reading bliss! You’re just a few clicks away from the most hilarious, head-scratching material that has made Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader an unparalleled publishing phenomenon. As always, the articles are divided into short, medium, and long for your sitting convenience. So treat yourself to the best of history, science, politics, and pop culture--plus the dumbest of the dumb crooks, the strangest of the strange lawsuits, and loads more, including . . . * The Barbados Tombs * The Lonely Phone Booth * The Origin of the Supermarket * The History of the IQ Test * Robots in the News * Tennessee’s Body Farm * Happy Donut Day! * The Origin of Nachos * The Birth of the Submarine * A Viewer's Guide to Rainbows * How the Mosquito Changed History And much, much more!

New from the Bathroom Reader: a grand slam, hole-in-one, hat trick collection of sports lore and trivia. Hey, sports fans: Sports Spectacular is bigger and better than ever! The not-so-dumb jocks at the BRI have packed in all the best sports and games articles from the wildly successful Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader series--and then bulked the whole thing up with more than 50 fan-tastic new pages. So place the ball on the tee, square up to the basket, and make sure your laces are laced tight, because it’s time to throw the dice through the goalposts for a home run! You’ll feel the thrill of victory and laugh at the agony of defeat as you read about… * The origins of all the major sports (and a bunch of minor ones) * Classic games, from poker and pinball to Monopoly and Donkey Kong * How to play bathroom blackjack * The world’s worst matador * The Goodyear Blimp * Mascots gone wild * Olympic scandals * NASCAR’s illegal origins * Dodging the cow pies when you play pasture golf * Finnish wife-carrying, gerbil racing, flagpole sitting, and other bizarre sports And much, much more!

This 37th annual Bathroom Reader from Uncle John and his team is filled with highly entertaining and informative articles that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Uncle John’s Action-Packed Bathroom Reader will take longtime fans and new readers alike on a whirlwind world tour with stories that explore the realms of pop culture, history, sports, and science—plus new exploits of dumb crooks that will make you wonder “What were they thinking?” For this 37th annual edition, Uncle John and his team at the Bathroom Readers’ Institute have explored lands near and far to bring you this collection of entertaining and informative articles that include short reads for a quick trip to the throne room as well as longer page-turners for extended visits. Also included are plenty of amusing lists, factoids, quotes, and quizzes that will fill your head with all sorts of odd trivia that you can use to amaze your friends.

Liberal, conservative, independent, or just plain nuts--no one in the public sector gets a free pass in this funny and informative look at the world of politics. No one skewers public servants of all political stripes like Uncle John! Here’s a no-holds-barred look at the history and lunacy of our govern-mental machine. Starting with the birth of democracy in the western world, you’ll learn how today’s political landscape was shaped and get an inside look at how government works (and doesn’t work)--from Main Street to Wall Street to Pennsylvania Avenue to the world stage. These 288 pages consist of the most eye-opening political articles from the BRI’s 25-year-history, plus a few all-new pieces ripped from the election-year headlines. So do your civic duty and read about… * Toilet diplomacy * Gingrich vs. the Glitterati * Why a donkey? Why an elephant? * Animals that ran for office…and won * The island election that was buried by a volcanic eruption * The birth, death, and rebirth of America’s major political parties * Why the first U.S. congresswoman had to hide in a phone both * The rapper who (nearly) took a swing at Romney * The Russian czar who taxed the human soul * The secret plot to take down FDR * Poisonous pundits And much, much more!

Uncle John is back with the 36th annual Bathroom Reader, an all-new collection of entertaining articles that explore the weird and wonderful world we live in. In this 36th edition of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, longtime fans and new readers alike will be astounded by a treasure trove of wonderfully weird (and true!) stories that explore the realms of pop culture, history, sports, science, and everyday folks, including the always popular misadventures of dumb crooks. Uncle John and his team at the Bathroom Readers’ Institute have reached into all corners of the world to bring you this all-new collection of entertaining and informative articles that include short reads for a quick trip to the throne room as well as longer page-turners for when you take an extended visit. You’ll also find a plethora of amusing lists, odd factoids, quotes, and quizzes that will tickle every trivia enthusiast’s fancy.

The 35th annual edition of Uncle John’s compendium features entertaining, informative, and amusing real-life stories from around the world. This 35th anniversary edition of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader is bursting with everything you could possibly want to read in the throne room, including short articles for a quick trip and lengthier page-turners for an extended visit. Uncle John and his team at the Bathroom Readers’ Institute have once again gathered the most entertaining and amusing stories from the realms of pop culture, history, science, and sports (not to mention accounts of even more dumb crooks!) for your reading pleasure. In addition, there are plenty of laugh-out-loud lists, amusing quotes, and odd factoids that will delight the most ardent of trivia fans.

It’s an actual fact—Uncle John is the most entertaining thing in the bathroom! Uncle John and his team of devoted researchers are back again with an all-new collection of weird news stories, odd historical events, dubious “scientific” theories, jaw-dropping lists, and more. This entertaining 31st anniversary edition contains 512 pages of all-new articles that will appeal to readers everywhere. Pop culture, history, dumb crooks, and other actual and factual tidbits are packed onto every page of this book. Inside, you’ll find . . . Dogs and cats who ran for political office The bizarre method people in Victorian England used to resuscitate drowning victims The man who met his future pet—a stray dog—while running across the Gobi Desert Searching for Planet X—the last unknown planet in our solar system Twantrums—strange Twitter rants that had disastrous effects The true story of Boaty McBoatface And much more!

Got a minute to spare? That’s all you’ll need to get a quick hit of great bathroom reading! After hearing from our fans that they’d love an edition with all our best short stuff, we pored through more than 100 past editions to bring you the all-time greatest one- and two-page articles we’ve ever written. Result: Uncle John’s Briefs is chock full of thousands of great facts and hundreds of quick hits covering history, origins, blunders, sports, pop science, and entertainment--plus a sprinkling of riddles, puns, anagrams, and other classic wordplay. Just open up to any one of these 288 pages. Who knows what you might find? Read about… * The secrets of top-secret spy lingo * The monkey that got a head transplant…and lived * Uncle John’s all-time favorite “Stall of Fame” winners * Bizarre recipes: jellied moose nose, steamed muskrat legs, and haggis * The worst movie bloopers from Best Picture Oscar winners * The man who built Death Valley’s “Castle in the Desert” * The little-known story of the best deal in sports history * How to decipher the hidden codes a dollar bill * Sinister left-handed facts * Earth’s greatest hits And much, much more!

Uncle John is back with another spectacular show—and it’s right here in front of you! Uncle John’s Greatest Know on Earth Bathroom Reader is bursting with the latest oohs and aahs from the worlds of pop culture, history, sports, and politics. Dazzling facts, jaw-dropping blunders, and astounding lists of trivia will make your visits to the throne room more entertaining than ever. Articles range in length from a single page to extended page-turners, so there’s always something to suit your needs. With Uncle John as the ringmaster for the 33rd straight edition, this Bathroom Reader is sure to be a crowd-pleaser!