'If your relationship is so bad, why don't you just leave them?' 'If you were in such an abusive relationship, why did you stay with them for so long?' 'If you knew you were in a relationship with such a toxic person, why didn't you ask people for help?' If you've ever been asked these questions, aside from being ignorant and hurtful, you'll know it's beyond frustrating. The answer to the above questions, whilst it's complex and often confusing, can be given with two words: trauma bonded. If you find you're in a relationship that you know is so toxic that it's crushing your very being, but you can't bring yourself to leave, you may be in the clutches of a tight trauma bond. If you're constantly feeling on edge, forever working to appease your spouse to little avail and like you're constantly being chipped away at with their abusive behavior, then I can understand how emotionally shattering it feels to live this way. If in the same breath, it breaks your heart to even consider leaving them because you can't imagine life without them, then I can understand that feeling too; because I was trauma bonded to my abusive ex. From my own personal experience and from the experiences other survivors have opened up to me about, this book will cover the following: - What trauma bonding really is - The 7 stages that lead to you becoming trauma bonded - The parallels that Stockholm syndrome has with trauma bonding - The 5 stages you go through when you come to accept you're trauma bonded - The cognitive dissonance a trauma bond can cause - Breaking free from the traumatic bond This book will also include my own experiences and I'll draw upon those to help you really understand trauma bonding, and let you know that you're not alone in being shackled by this emotionally crippling bond. More importantly, this book will help you understand that the invisible chain that tethers you to your abuser can be broken.

Some really great books just keep getting better! For seventeen years The Betrayal Bond has been the primary source for therapists and patients wrestling the effects of emotional pain and harm caused by exploitation from someone they trusted. Divorce, litigation, incest and child abuse, domestic violence, kidnapping, professional exploitation and religious abuse are all areas of trauma bonding. These are situations and relationships of incredible intensity or importance lend themselves more easily to an exploitation of trust or power. In The Betrayal Bond, Dr. Carnes presents an in-depth study of these relationships; why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. Dr. Carnes also gives a clear explanation of the bond that compels people to tolerate the intolerable, and for the first time, maps out the brain connection that makes being with hurtful people comparable to 'a drug of choice.' Most importantly, Carnes provides practical steps to identify compulsive attachment patterns and ultimately to change or end them for good. This new edition includes: New science for understanding how our brains can make a prison of bad relationships New assessments and insights based on 50,000 research participants A new section utilizing the latest findings in attachment research and narrative therapy to concretely rewrite and rescript bad experiences A redefinition of the factors contributing to addictive relationships

Franz Ruppert's book explores the different types of trauma experience, along with the bonding theories of John Bowlby and attachment work of Mary Ainsworth and others, forming a multigenerational picture of the dynamics of trauma. Experiences of trauma can be so painful as to cause a split in the personality. It is impossible for a mother or father to avoid passing something of their own traumatic experiences on to their children through the process of bonding. These are the deeper feelings, perceptions, thoughts and embodied ways of being which form the residue of the trauma. Informed by his clinical experience Franz Ruppert introduces his insights into the origins of psychological distress. He has developed a unique way of working sensitively with Constellations to reveal and resolve the hidden dynamics of past trauma.

Trauma has become a catchword of our time and a central category in contemporary theory and criticism. In this illuminating and accessible volume, Lucy Bond and Stef Craps: provide an account of the history of the concept of trauma from the late nineteenth century to the present day examine debates around the term in their historical and cultural contexts trace the origins and growth of literary trauma theory introduce the reader to key thinkers in the field explore important issues and tensions in the study of trauma as a cultural phenomenon outline and assess recent critiques and revisions of cultural trauma research Trauma is an essential guide to a rich and vibrant area of literary and cultural inquiry.

This book provides a theoretical framework and a practical model of intervention for distressed couples whose relationships are affected by the echoes of trauma. Combining attachment theory, trauma research, and emotionally focused therapeutic techniques, Susan M. Johnson guides the clinician in modifying the interactional patterns that maintain traumatic stress and fostering positive, healing relationships among survivors and their partners. In-depth case material brings to life the process of assessment and treatment with couples coping with the impact of different kinds of trauma, including childhood abuse, serious illness, and combat experiences. The concluding chapter features valuable advice on therapist self-care.

A COLLECTION OF RECENT RESEARCH AND REAL-LIFE REPORTS ON TRAUMA BONDING IN MANY CONTEXTS OF INTERPERSONAL VIOLENCE Trauma bonding, the emotional attachment victims develop toward their abusers or captors, has been repeatedly observed in victims of interpersonal crimes – yet little is known about its formation, persistence, and positive resolution in survivors. Trauma Bonding and Interpersonal Crimes provides a timely review of existing theoretical conceptualizations and research findings on trauma bonding in relation to various forms of interpersonal crimes, including human trafficking, intimate partner violence, child sexual abuse, cults, kidnapping, gang violence, and terrorism. With an accessible and reader-friendly style, lead author Joan A. Reid examines the concept of trauma bonding while offering insights into the consequences of how the phenomenon is framed in the public discourse and the professional sectors. Twelve chapters investigate key topics ranging from methodological issues and research limitations to current debates on victimology within academic disciplines such as criminology, psychology, social work, sociology, and public health. Providing a holistic approach to the subject, Trauma Bonding and Interpersonal Crimes: Highlights the complexities of intervention and treatment for trauma survivors and clinicians Explores the implications for policy related to trauma bonding Recommends potential avenues for integrated theory and research Features case studies that combine individual examples and evidence-based research Includes definitions of terms, critical thinking questions, and further readings in each chapter Part of Wiley’s Psycho-Criminology of Crime, Mental Health, and the Law series, Trauma Bonding and Interpersonal Crimesis an invaluable resource for upper-level undergraduate and graduate students, researchers, policymakers, and practitioners in areas related to victims of human trafficking, intimate partner violence, and child sexual abuse.

Overcome toxic relationship bonds and begin to heal Freeing yourself from a trauma bond can feel overwhelming. But with the right tools, you can let go of the past and move forward to a brighter future. This supportive workbook is filled with evidence-based strategies and exercises to help you break the cycle of abuse and thrive. Understand your experience—Learn what trauma bonding is and gain insight from the stories of other people who have experienced abuse. Discover tools for healing trauma—Build skills for breaking your toxic relationship with proven exercises like starting a walking meditation practice and rating your level of self-care. Beyond trauma—Explore the aftermath of leaving an abuser, including managing difficult emotions and grief, reclaiming your identity, avoiding relapse, and preparing to move forward with your new life. Empower yourself and take control of your future with this supportive workbook.

Tackling relationships, career, and family issues, John Kim, LMFT, thinks of himself as a life-styledesigner, not a therapist. His radical new approach, that he sometimes calls “self-help in a shot glass” is easy, real, and to the point. He helps people make changes to their lives so that personal growth happens organically, just by living. Let’s face it, therapy is a luxury. Few of us have the time or money to devote to going to an office every week. With anecdotes illustrating principles in action (in relatable and sometimes irreverent fashion) and stand-alone practices and exercises, Kim gives readers the tools and directions to focus on what's right with them instead of what's wrong. When John Kim was going through the end of a relationship, he began blogging as The Angry Therapist, documenting his personal journey post-divorce. Traditional therapists avoid transparency, but Kim preferred the language of "me too" as opposed to "you should." He blogged about his own shortcomings, revelations, views on relationships, and the world. He spoke a different therapeutic language —open, raw, and at times subversive — and people responded. The Angry Therapist blog, that inspired this book, has been featured in The Atlantic Monthly and on NPR.

Do you often feel undeserving of love, insignificant and worthless? Do you struggle in your relationship but cannot imagine life without your partner? Deep down, do you know that you deserve better, but find it impossible to leave your partner? Does your partner frequently hurt you, then apologise, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and bewildered? The intricate and frequently puzzling response to these inquiries can be encapsulated in a simple phrase: Trauma Bonding. A prevalent instance is domestic abuse victims: a person might form a deep emotional connection with the abusive partner due to the recurring pattern of maltreatment and intervals of affection or regret. Do you often think about your relationship in these ways? "It is my fault — I make them angry." "She is under a lot of stress at work; she cannot help it. She will make it up to me later." "He is only like this because he loves me so much — you would not understand." "I will not leave him; he is my soulmate. You are just jealous." Trauma bonding with a narcissist can be draining for even the most mentally healthy individuals. But why does it happen? The bond forms from our basic human need for attachment as a survival mechanism. From there, abuse victims may become dependent on their abuser. Add in a cycle where the abuser repeatedly promises not to be abusive again and gains the victim's trust, and you have a complex emotional situation that affects even seemingly emotionally strong people. Trauma bonding is a nightmarish prison. Ending the relationship may cause the toxic bond to make you want to plead for your partner's return. This book specifically aims to help you: • Identify the dangerous stages of Trauma Bonding. • Understand when and why Trauma Bonding occurs (within families, friends, or peers). • Dissolve toxic bonds in romantic relationships. • Recognise factors that strengthen Trauma Bonds. • Utilise tools and exercises to break Trauma Bonds. • Develop a safe exit plan. • Heal from a Trauma Bond. Attachment and dependence can create a Trauma Bond, as can an ongoing pattern of abuse and remorse. This cycle can continue indefinitely if not interrupted. This book is designed with YOU in mind, allowing you to progress at your own pace. By following a step-by-step approach, this book will guide you out of the emotional trap that you are in by identifying typical behaviours of victims and their tormentors and applying techniques to break these patterns. If you have formed a traumatic bond with someone, there is no need to feel ashamed. Our brains naturally search for survival strategies. This manual will walk you through each step, helping you break free from the combination of abuse and positive reinforcement that keeps you trapped in guilt, anxiety, and emotional pain.

Toxic thoughts, depression, anxiety--our mental mess is frequently aggravated by a chaotic world and sustained by an inability to manage our runaway thoughts. But we shouldn't settle into this mental mess as if it's just our new normal. There's hope and help available to us--and the road to healthier thoughts and peak happiness may actually be shorter than you think. Backed by clinical research and illustrated with compelling case studies, Dr. Caroline Leaf provides a scientifically proven five-step plan to find and eliminate the root of anxiety, depression, and intrusive thoughts in your life so you can experience dramatically improved mental and physical health. In just 21 days, you can start to clean up your mental mess and be on the road to wholeness, peace, and happiness.