Simon Jordan doesn't mince his words. After making millions in mobile phones he decided to buy his boyhood football club, Crystal Palace. At 31, he became the youngest chairman ever.

A fun entrance point to linguistics, this accessible book uses online cat discourse to introduce a wide range of concepts.

The thrilling conclusion to the Rox Triad as a dangerous super-powered gang threatens NYC After too many disastrous raids and military embarrassments, the Nats order a full-out, no-holds-barred blitzkrieg against Bloat and his genetic outcasts. The mission is clear: destroy Ellis Island, no survivors. As the final battle rages, the Turtle throws in the towel, Modular Man switches sides, Reflector faces defeat, Legion “dies”—and assassins reach Bloat’s chamber. This is it, folks. The final days of the Rox. The Wild Cards series explodes into apocalyptic battle action, edited by #1 New York Times bestselling author George R. R. Martin and Melinda M. Snodgrass, featuring the writing talents of Edward W. Bryant, Stephen Leigh, John Jos. Miller, George R. R. Martin and Walter Jon Williams. The Wild Cards Universe The Original Triad #1 Wild Cards #2 Aces High #3 Jokers Wild The Puppetman Quartet #4: Aces Abroad #5: Down and Dirty #6: Ace in the Hole #7: Dead Man’s Hand The Rox Triad #8: One-Eyed Jacks #9: Jokertown Shuffle #10: Double Solitaire #11: Dealer's Choice #12: Turn of the Cards The Card Sharks Triad #13: Card Sharks #14: Marked Cards #15: Black Trump #16: Deuces Down #17: Death Draws Five The Committee Triad #18: Inside Straight #19: Busted Flush #20: Suicide Kings American Hero (ebook original) The Fort Freak Triad #21: Fort Freak #22: Lowball #23: High Stakes The American Triad #24: Mississippi Roll #25: Low Chicago #26: Texas Hold 'Em #27: Knaves Over Queens At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Short novels are movie length narratives that may well be the perfect length for science fiction stories. This collection presents the best-of-the-best short science fiction novels published in 2012 by current and emerging masters of this vibrant form. In "In the House of Aryaman, a Lonely Signal Burns," by Elizabeth Bear, Police Sub-Inspector Ferron investigates the murder of genetics engineer, Dexter Coffin, who has been turned inside out, in a cutting edge biomedical lab set in a not too distant future India. In Jay Lake's"The Stars Do Not Lie," Morgan Abutti is soon in fear for his life when he tries to announce his discovery of something in the stars that contradicts the creation myth of a major religion on his planet. In "The Weight of History, the Lightness of the Future," also by Jay Lake, set in the author's "Sunspin" series, the Howard Immortal, Before Michaela Cannon, and an untrustworthy shipmind investigate the cause of the Mistake, an alien attack on human civilization with an EMP weapon that occurred more than a thousand years ago and wiped out most of its technology. In "Sudden, Broken and Unexpected," by Steven Popkes, a burnt-out, talented musician is hired to help a world-class rock star divaloid, an electronic construct, prepare for her new world tour. There's only one problem, the musician passionately despises divaloids. In Robert Reed's"Eater-of-Bone," marooned human colonists, from the "Great Ship," fight for dominance on a planet inhabited by smaller, weaker, and less intelligent aliens. Finally, in "The Boolean Gate," by Walter Jon Williams, set in the 19th century, an elderly Samuel Clemens escapes his Mark Twain persona through his friendship with Nicola Tesla. As Tesla's inventions come to fruition, Twain suspects that Tesla has opened up a gateway to an alien intelligence.

This joke book is divided into chapters, including: jokes for home; jokes for school; jokes for parents; jokes for old people; jokes for holidays; jokes for mealtimes; jokes for making you more popular; jokes for pets; jokes for monsters; and jokes for Christmas.

This anthology marks the 29th edition of the award-winning annual compilationof the year's best science fiction stories.

Animal lover and champion Irish dancer Samantha Hannigan is having a truly woof week. She and her best friend Ajay were messing around with the Brain Swap 3000, one of her grandad's crackpot inventions, and now Sam is stuck inside the body of her neighbours' dog – and it'll be days before they can change her back! How long can they pretend Sam is just dressing up in a dog costume for charity? Are her chances of winning the big dance competition scuppered? What's going on behind closed doors at Roger Fitzmaurice's dog-biscuit factory? And, um, why has Sam suddenly started to chew on slippers and bark at the moon?