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Tina Bears was overwhelmed with panic when her husband coldly told her, “I have gotten away with everything, everything but murder.” In this dramatic story of escape from a planned murder/suicide, Tina bravely recounts her life of hiding her shame under a mask of lies as a dutiful wife in a suburban Christian community. Tina learned to remove her mask, and shares her difficult journey through the shame of an unstable broken childhood home, the shame of a teen pregnancy, and the shame from a ten year abusive marriage. Through her faith in Jesus Christ, God has removed Tina’s shame and allowed her to overcome a life filled with brokenness and abuse. She has gone from feeling like a worthless, second-class, shamed woman in the eyes of God, to an understanding of the fact that she is valued and loved by her Heavenly Father. “Because of the love of God in Jesus Christ, my shame is gone, and now I can recognize that same shame in others who are hurting because of abuse. There is truly a great connection between the hurting and the healed. God has called me to reach out to those who are still hurting from abuse and to let them know that they are not alone in their pain.” —Tina Bears

Are you plagued with memories of past failures? Do you ever feel like everything that goes badly is your fault? Do words like worthless and unacceptable describe how you feel about yourself? You’re not alone. Millions of people struggle with these same thoughts, including people who might surprise you. These thoughts and feelings cause people to put on a variety of masks to cover up the dark and hidden places inside that they are terrified others may see. This book seeks to shed light on shame—the shadowy force that has controlled people’s thoughts, actions, and lives for centuries. Comedian and pastor Steve Geyer will take you on a personal and poignant journey as he peels back his own mask and shares insights, life lessons, and a few well-timed laughs along the way. Reading Shameless will help you reader feel the weight of shame less and less. “Steve, I’m sitting in a questionable carwash in a less than desirable neighborhood and reading your book for the third time. The ‘ugly cry’ that happened with the first two readings has surfaced again and is scaring my fellow patrons. Thank you for your candor and transparency.” —Cameron Winton, Pastor of Discipleship Woodlawn United Methodist Church, Panama City, FL

DIV Franz Kafka was the poet of his own disorder. Throughout his life he struggled with a pervasive sense of shame and guilt that left traces in his daily existence—in his many letters, in his extensive diaries, and especially in his fiction. This stimulating book investigates some of the sources of Kafka’s personal anguish and its complex reflections in his imaginary world. In his query, Saul Friedländer probes major aspects of Kafka’s life (family, Judaism, love and sex, writing, illness, and despair) that until now have been skewed by posthumous censorship. Contrary to Kafka’s dying request that all his papers be burned, Max Brod, Kafka’s closest friend and literary executor, edited and published the author’s novels and other works soon after his death in 1924. Friedländer shows that, when reinserted in Kafka’s letters and diaries, deleted segments lift the mask of “sainthood� frequently attached to the writer and thus restore previously hidden aspects of his individuality. /div

This study offers a complex analysis of the psychodynamic role of shame in Melville's work, with detailed readings of Moby-Dick, Pierre, and "Billy Budd." Its concrete application of the rich analytic framework supplied by the work of such theorists as Heinz Kohut, Léon Wurmser, Silvan Tomkins, and Donald Nathanson implicitly challenges the contemporary reliance on an often abstract poststructuralist model of psychoanalysis. As a paradigmatic, coherent reading of the work of a single author, the book will appeal both to the many scholars interested in Melville's work and to anyone interested in psychoanalytic or psychological approaches to literature.

‘This is one of the most important topics today that seemingly no one is talking about: how men can take care of their emotional health in a 21st century that demands it. Crucial reading for any young or struggling man.’ - Mark Manson, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck At 30 years old, Lewis Howes was outwardly thriving but unfulfilled inside. He was a successful athlete and businessman, achieving goals beyond his wildest dreams, but he felt empty, angry, frustrated, and always chasing something that was never enough. His whole identity had been built on misguided beliefs about what "masculinity" was. Howes began a personal journey to find inner peace and to uncover the many masks that men – young and old – wear. In The Mask of Masculinity, Howes exposes: · The ultimate emptiness of the Material Mask, the man who chases wealth above all things; · The cowering vulnerability that hides behind the Joker and Stoic Masks of men who never show real emotion; and · The destructiveness of the Invincible and Aggressive Masks worn by men who take insane risks or can never back down from a fight. He teaches men how to break through the walls that hold them back and shows women how they can better understand the men in their lives. It's not easy, but if you want to love, be loved and live a great life, then it's an odyssey of self-discovery that all modern men must make. This book is a must-read for every man – and for every woman who loves a man.

An intimate look at the full spectrum of shame—often masked by addiction, promiscuity, perfectionism, self-loathing, or narcissism—that offers a new, positive route forward Encounters with embarrassment, guilt, self-consciousness, remorse, etc. are an unavoidable part of everyday life, and they sometimes have lessons to teach us—about our goals and values, about the person we expect ourselves to be. In contrast to the prevailing cultural view of shame as a uniformly toxic influence, Shame is a book that approaches the subject of shame as an entire family of emotions which share a “painful awareness of self.” Challenging widely-accepted views within the self-esteem movement, author Joseph Burgo argues that self-esteem does NOT thrive in the soil of non-stop praise and encouragement, but rather depends upon setting and meeting goals, living up to the expectations we hold for ourselves, and finally sharing our joy in achievement with the people who matter most to us. Along the way, listening to and learning from our encounters with shame will go further than affirmations and positive self-talk in helping us to build authentic self-esteem. Richly illustrated with clinical stories from Burgo's 35 years in private practice, Shame also describes the myriad ways that unacknowledged shame often hides behind a broad spectrum of mental disorders including social anxiety, narcissism, addiction, and masochism.

Work with patients with severe neuroses very often has to cope with the phenomenon that every progress in the analytic or therapeutic work is followed paradoxically by a clinical deterioration. There are a number of dynamic factors that converge to bring about this negative therapeutic reaction, including many-layered guilt and shame, aspects of envy and jealousy, attachment to negative affects, turning trauma from passive to active, conflicts within the superego, and the defensive use of omnipotence of responsibility. In Nothing Good Is Allowed to Stand, Wurmser, Jarass, and their colleagues consider these and other factors insightfully, such as the extent to which traumatization lives on in self-directed aggressions of the superego in the claim of omnipotence; the significant role of deep conflicts between opposite values and loyalties in bringing about the prohibition of anything "good" and thus of the negative therapeutic reaction in particular and masochism in general; and the extent to which envy, jealousy, and resentment can be encountered in the "inner object," the "inner judge" (i.e., the superego), and how they are directed against the self.

For almost a century the concept of guilt, as embedded in drive theory, has dominated psychoanalytic thought. Increasingly, however, investigators are focusing on shame as a key aspect of human behavior. This volume captures a range of compelling viewpoints on the role of shame in psychological development, psychopathology, and the therapeutic process. Donald Nathanson has assembled internationally prominent authorities, engaging them in extensive dialogue about their areas of expertise. Concise introductions to each chapter place the authors both historically and theoretically, and outline their emphases and contributions to our understanding of shame. Including many illustrative clinical examples, the book covers such topics as the relationship between shame and narcissism, shame's central place in affect theory, psychosis and shame, and shame in the literature of French psychoanalysis and philosophy.