A doorstopper of a collection of the very best of both contemporary and classic British wit and humour. From Monty Python's 'Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more . . .' to Dan Antopolski's 'Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?'. From George Bernard Shaw to Michael McIntyre, from Eric Morecombe to Omid Djalili, and from Oscar Wilde to Jimmy Carr, a side-splitting look at Britain, the British and life in general. Including these gems from Britain's finest comedians: I was delighted to learn that my friend's schadenfreude was not as satisfying as mine. Armando Iannucci. I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West. Zoe Lyons For a while I was the perfect mother. Then the Pethidine wore off. Jenny Eclair. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that. Jack Dee. Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings because it's hardly ever for them? Harry Hill. Arse-gravy of the very worst kind. Stephen Fry on The Da Vinci Code. You have to come up with this shit every year. Last week I just wrote "I still love you, see last year's card for full details." Michael McIntyre on Valentines Day. I went to the doctor and he said, 'You've got hypochondria.' I said, 'Not that as well!'Tim Vine. I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. Spike Milligan. When someone close to you dies, move seats. Peter Kay. My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. Eric Morecambe. My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. Jimmy Carr. Eighty-two point six per cent of statistics are made up on the spot. Vic Reeves. A bird in the hand invariably shits on your wrist. Billy Connolly. Getting divorced isn't like a bereavement at all, because if he's died, I'd have had me mortgage paid, and I could've danced on his grave. Sarah Millican. My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela: incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990, he's been out about 18 years now and he hasn't re-offended. Ricky Gervais. If you want to confuse a girl, buy her a pair of chocolate shoes. Milton Jones. Phil Collins is losing his hearing, making him the luckiest man at a Phil Collins Concert. Simon Amstell. We'll continue our investigation into the political beliefs of nudists. We've already noticed a definite swing to the left. Ronnie Barker. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts. Tommy Cooper

Many readers are attracted to science fiction for that singular moment when a story expands your imagination, enabling you to see something in a new light. Not all SF works this way! This volume collects the very best of it that does, with 25 of the finest examples of mind-expanding and awe-inspiring science fiction. The storylines range from a discovery on the Moon that opens up vistas across all time to a moment in which distances across the Earth suddenly increase and people vanish. These are tales to take you from the other side of now to the very end of time - from today's top-name contributors including Stephen Baxter, Alastair Reynolds, Robert Silverberg, Gregory Benford and Robert Reed.

A superb collection of stories of magic and adventure from the golden age of Arthurian legend by bestselling writers. Enter into the darker realms of the age of the Knights of the Round Table, when magic held sway and Merlin vied with Arthur's heroic new world. Included are: Jane Yolen on Merlin's youth and coming of age; Marion Zimmer Bradley on Nimuë, Merlin's lover and doom; Charles de Lint on Merlin's influence through the centuries; Darrell Schweitzer on the legends of Merlin's birth; plus stories by Tanith Lee, Peter Tremayne, Phyllis Ann Karr, Jennifer Roberson, and many others. There is also a detailed introduction by Mike Ashley on the mystery and magic of Merlin and his world.

30 inside stories of the American Mafia, Sicilian Cosa Nostra, Camorra and 'Ndrangheta Images of life in the Mob pervade our film and TV screens, some glamorous, some horrific - what is the reality? Investigative journalist Roger Wilkes has put together the largest ever collection of insider stories from prominent ex-mafiosi, infiltrators and award-winning writers. It contains tell-all accounts by the likes of: Richard 'The Iceman' Kuklinski, the contract killer who claimed to have murdered over 200 people in a career lasting 43 years. Frankie Saggio, who 'freelanced' for all five of New York's Mafia families, narrowly escaping assassination before being busted for a major scam. Joey Black, the Hitman, chillingly professional murderer of 38 victims and regarded by many as the 'original Soprano'. Albert DeMeo, the son of a gangster, who later became a lawyer. 'Donnie Brasco', real name Joseph Pistone, the FBI agent, who worked undercover in the Bonanno and Colombo crime families in New York for six years. Tommaso Buscetta, the Sicilian mafioso, the first pentito, or informant, of real significance to break omertà. The two judges with whom he worked, Giovanni Falcone and Paolo Borsellino, were both later killed by the Mafia. This is the reality of the world of men you wouldn't want to cross.

No one sees clearer than an individual whose life is hanging by the finger tips on the edge of an abyss. Probing the furthest reaches of human daring and endurance, here are 28 of the great first-hand accounts of extreme mountaineering, from legendary names. Written by the bestselling author of Meadowland and The Running Hare, Featuring: ·Heinrich Harrer - first conqueror of the notorious Eigerwand. ·Robert Bates - the classic account of the ill-fated American 1953 expedition to K2. ·Maurice Herzog - his unstoppable ascent of Annapurna at the cost of frostbite. ·Walter Bonatti - tragedy on the Central Pillar of Freney on Mont Blanc. ·George Leigh Mallory - surviving an avalanche on the 1922 Everest expedition. ·René Desmaison - his epic story of 14 days stuck on The Grandes Jorasses in winter. ·Jon Krakauer - recalling his solo ascent of The Devil's Thumb in Alaska. The price of the summit is often measured in human suffering, yet for those who succeed the rewards can be incalculable. Nerve-wracking and unputdownable.

Using the latest modern technology available to forensic science, crime scene investigators answer questions others never even thought to ask. This book contains more than thirty fascinating modern cases of forensic detective work. Genetic fingerprinting, blood splatter analysis, laser ablation, toxicology, ballistics analysis - the whole range of forensic techniques is featured. The investigators trust only the evidence to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves: the victims. The cases featured include: - Tommie Lee Andrews, the first person to be convicted as a result of DNA evidence, for raping a woman during a burglary; - Jeffrey Gafoor, convicted of murder in 2003 when crime scene evidence collected twelve years previously resulted in a match with his nephew; - Richard W. Rogers, convicted of the murder of two of his numerous gay male victims, through vacuum metal deposition, technology which saves fingerprints from plastic bags; - Dr. Sam Sheppard, the murder trial based on blood evidence that inspired the TV series The Fugitive; - Edwin Bush, the first murderer in Britain to be brought to book thanks to an identikit picture; - Derrick Todd Lee, the Baton Rouge Serial Killer, only nailed by DNA evidence after a flawed FBI profile led big-shot investigators astray. These cases - usually successful, but also sometimes dangerously flawed - offer a remarkable insight into real-life scene-of-crime investigation.

Mystery conundrums from crime's finest storytellers Presenting 30 impossible mysteries and bizarre crimes guaranteed to fascinate and intrigue. The delight in these stories is unravelling the puzzle and trying to work out what on earth happened. Stories include: • A man alone in an all-glass phone booth, visible on CCTV and with no one near him, is killed by an ice pick. • a man sitting alone in a room is shot by a bullet fired only once and that was over 200 years ago. • A man enters a cable-car carriage alone and is visible the entire journey but is found dead when he reaches the bottom. • A man vanishes at the top of the Indian rope trick and is found dead miles away. • a dead man continues to receive mail in response to letters apparently written by him after he'd died. The anthology includes several brand new stories never previously published, plus a range of extremely rare stories, many never reprinted since their first appearance in increasingly rare magazines.

The biggest and best collection of jokes for all the family to enjoy. 8,000 rib-ticklers, covering every subject under the sun from Aardvarks to Zombies, including chicken jokes, doctor-doctor jokes, elephant jokes, horror jokes, knock-knock jokes, excruciating puns, riddles, school jokes, sports jokes and waiter jokes. Most of the jokes are sharp one-liners but there is also a scattering of slightly longer stories.

The great explorers were the celebrities of their day - the romance and danger of their daring expeditions captured the public imagination and the world's headlines to an extraordinary degree. Not all of them lived to tell the tale, of course, but those who emerged triumphant from jungle, desert or polar wasteland were hailed as if returning from beyond the grave. Journalists vied for their stories and publishers rushed their first-hand accounts of exciting and dangerous journeys into print for a wide and voracious readership. Acclaimed travel historian John Keay introduces this selection of the best of these first-hand narratives, including those of John Ross and John Franklin, writing about their experiences in the Arctic; Richard Burton's account of his search for the source of the Nile; John Speke on Lake Victoria; David Livingstone and Henry Stanley's adventures in central Africa; Alexander McKenzie's first crossing of America and Meriwether Lewis's encounter with the Shoshonee; Robert Peary and Roald Amundsen's voyages to the poles; and the poignant last words of William Wills in Australia and Robert Scott's In Extremis. Keay includes the experiences of four remarkable twentieth-century explorers: Hiram Bingham on the discovery of Machu Picchu; Wilfred Thesiger on Arabia's Empty Quarter; Edmund Hillary on reaching the summit of Everest; and Harry St John Bridger Philby facing despair and defeat in the Arabian desert.

From the start of the 20th century to the most recent major offensives, here are fifty accounts of the battles that made the modern world, described in superb detail by historians and writers including John Keegan, Alan Clark, John Strawson, Charles Mey, John Pimlott, and John Laffin. All the major conflicts are covered, from two world wars, through Korea, Vietnam, Bosnia, Chechnya, to Iraq and Afghanistan. Among the battles featured are: the Somme, Passchendaele, Battle of Britain, Stalingrad, El Alamein, Monte Cassino, Omaha Beach, Iwa Jima, Dien Bien Phu, Ia Drang, Hamburger Hill, Desert Storm, Kabul, Baghdad, and Basra.