The Baudelaire orphans disguise themselves as employees of the Hotel Denoument and find themselves pursued by the evil Count Olaf and others.

With the help of a baseball dictionary so they can learn the necessary language, an elephant and a bear take over the management of a baseball team.

An elephant and a bear take over a diner and find out about responsibility and food language.

The Des Moines Majestyks are deep in the cellar...so deep that it seems nothing short of divine intervention could even get them up to the ground floor. They do have one star, Juan-Tanamera "Bueno" Aires, an ex-basketball phenom who performs miracles at the plate and magic in the field. Unfortunately, team owner Holden Canfield, who’s struck it rich with an Internet start-up, spent the entire team budget on acquiring "Bueno," leaving the rest of the roster painfully devoid of talent. Manager Zuke Johansen has just about given up hope when an unexpected thing happens: A scout introduces him to Marvin Kowalski. A straight-A student, valedictorian of his high school class, and on his way to MIT, Marvin knows little about the rules of the game, and his pencil-thin physique would get him laughed off a big-league diamond. But Marvin has one brilliant skill. The ultimate "one-tool" player, he has such a good eye that he can tell what kind of pitch is coming almost before it leaves the pitcher's hand. And even though he's not much of a hitter, his reflexes and coordination are incredibly fast–-so fast, in fact, that nobody can strike him out, as Zuke Johansen quickly sees. Marvin may not be Babe Ruth, but he has found a way to exhaust–-and utterly enrage–-opposing pitchers, driving them to distraction before he takes his inevitable base. Faced with the prospect of leading his team to one of the worst season records since the game was played without gloves, Zuke is desperate enough to wonder if Marvin's strange talent might just lift his Majestyks out of the cellar.... The Kid Who Batted 1.000 is one of those rare sports novels that will appeal to fervent fans as well as those still trying to figure out the infield fly rule. Generously sprinkling his story with some of the best-loved one-liners in the game, Troon McAllister delivers a darkly funny behind-the-scenes look at our national pastime, cementing his place as a major-league humorist.