Bestselling author Harriet Lerner focuses on the challenge and the importance of being able to express one's "authentic voice" in intimate relationships. The key problem in relationships, particularly over time, is that people begin to lose their voice. Despite decades of assertiveness training and lots of good advice about communicating with clarity, timing, and tact, women and men find that their greatest complaints in marriage and other intimate relationships are that they are not being heard, that they cannot affect the other person, that fights go nowhere, that conflict brings only pain. Although an intimate, long-term relationship offers the greatest possibilities for knowing the other person and being known, these relationships are also fertile ground for silence and frustration when it comes to articulating a true self. And yet giving voice to this self is at the center of having both a relationship and a self. Much as she did in THE MOTHER DANCE, Lerner will approach this rich subject with tales from her personal life and clinical work, inspiring and teaching readers to speak their own truths to the most important people in their lives.

The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller that has transformed the lives of millions of readers, dramatically changing how women and men view relationships. Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception. "Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change. For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.

Following a unique format perfect for today's world, the renowned author of The Dance of Anger gives us just over 100 rules that cover all the hot spots in long-term relationships. Marriage Rules offers new solutions to age-old problems ("He won't talk"/"She doesn't want sex") as well as modern ones (your partner's relationship to technology.) You'll also learn how to: Calm things down and warm them up Talk straight and fight fair Listen well as a spiritual practice Connect with a distant partner Survive the unique challenges of children, stepchildren and difficult- laws Follow a 12-step program to overcome defensiveness Know how and when to draw the line Take back your marriage when things fall apart Marriage Rules is a treasure chest of lively, practical advice to help you navigate your couple relationship with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction. If one person in a couple follows ten rules of his or her choice, it will generate a major, positive change. All that's required is a genuine wish for a better relationship and a willingness to practice.

In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Sample Book Insights: #1 The art of communication is a difficult one, and we may do our best to speak but still feel unheard. We may find that we cannot affect our husband or wife or partner, that fights go nowhere, and that conflict brings only pain rather than an opportunity for two people to learn more about each other. #2 We can never guarantee that the other person will get our message, or respond the way we want. But we can learn to be heard and move relationships forward. We can take a conversation to the next level when the initial foray doesn’t bring the desired result. #3 The challenge of finding an authentic voice within an intimate relationship is far larger than a word like communication can ever begin to describe. Authenticity brings to mind such elusive qualities as being fully present, centered, and in touch with our best selves in our most important conversations. #4 The challenge in conversation is not just to be ourselves, but to choose the self we want to be. We don’t discover who we are by sitting alone on a mountaintop and meditating, or by being introspective and going deeper.

"The Art of Connection: Understanding Relationships and Communication" is an insightful and comprehensive book that delves into the intricate dynamics of human connections. This thought-provoking work explores the multifaceted aspects of relationships, offering readers a profound understanding of the artistry involved in fostering meaningful connections. The book begins by unraveling the essence of effective communication, emphasizing the pivotal role it plays in building and sustaining relationships. It delves into the nuances of verbal and non-verbal communication, shedding light on the power of active listening, empathy, and clear expression. Readers will discover practical tools and techniques to enhance their communication skills, enabling them to navigate the complexities of interpersonal connections with finesse. Beyond communication, "The Art of Connection" delves into the psychology of relationships, exploring the factors that contribute to their success or challenges. The author explores various relationship dynamics, from friendships and family bonds to romantic entanglements and professional alliances. This book provides a roadmap for readers to navigate the intricate landscape of human connections. One of the key strengths of this work lies in its emphasis on self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Readers are guided through a journey of self-discovery, gaining insights into their own communication styles, attachment patterns, and emotional triggers. Armed with this knowledge, individuals can cultivate healthier relationships and overcome common obstacles that may hinder personal and professional growth. "The Art of Connection" is not just a guide; it's an invitation to explore the depth and richness of human connections. Whether you're seeking to improve your communication skills, strengthen existing relationships, or forge new connections, this book serves as a valuable companion on the journey to mastering the art of meaningful engagement and understanding. Engaging, enlightening, and empowering, this book is a must-read for anyone eager to enhance the quality of their relationships and communication in every facet of life.

Korean adoptees have a difficult time relating to any of the racial identity models because they are people of color who often grew up in white homes and communities. Biracial and nonadopted people of color typically have at least one parent whom they can racially identify with, which may also allow them access to certain racialized groups. When Korean adoptees attempt to immerse into the Korean community, they feel uncomfortable and unwelcome because they are unfamiliar with Korean customs and language. The Dance of Identities looks at how Korean adoptees "dance," or engage, with their various identities (white, Korean, Korean adoptee, and those in between and beyond) and begin the journey toward self-discovery and empowerment. Throughout the author draws closely on his own experiences and those of thirty-eight other Korean adoptees, mainly from the U.S. Chapters are organized according to major themes that emerged from interviews with adoptees. "Wanting to be like White" examines assimilation into a White middle-class identity during childhood. Although their White identity may be challenged at times, for the most part adoptees feel accepted as "honorary" Whites among their families and friends. "Opening Pandora’s Box" discusses the shattering of adoptees’ early views on race and racism and the problems of being raised colorblind in a race-conscious society. "Engaging and Reflecting" is filled with adoptee voices as they discover their racial and transracial identities as young adults. During this stage many engage in activities that they believe make more culturally Korean, such as joining Korean churches and Korean student associations in college. "Questioning What I Have Done" delves into the issues that arise when Korean adoptees explore their multiple identities and the possible effects on relationships with parents and spouses. In "Empowering Identities" the author explores how adoptees are able to take control of their racial and transracial identities by reaching out to parents, prospective parents, and adoption agencies and by educating Korean and Korean Americans about their lives. The final chapter, "Linking the Dance of Identities Theory to Life Experiences," reiterates for adoptees, parents, adoption agencies, and social justice activists and educators the need for identity journeys and the empowered identities that can result. The Dance of Identities is an honest look at the complex nature of race and how we can begin to address race and racism from a fresh perspective. It will be well received by not only members of the Korean adoption community and transracial parents, but also Asian American scholars, educators, and social workers.

The Solution to Your Biggest Problem in Social Dancing "I just wanted to thank you again for your class tonight. You always get me to dance my best. You have built a simple, logical, understandable system, demonstrably superior to anything that this dancing mouse has seen." ~ Erin King, social dancer This book solves the biggest problem in social dancing. The problem is how to communicate unambiguously. Dance teachers have an enormous wealth of knowledge. However, when explaining how to communicate, they are surprisingly vague. This vagueness is not the fault of dance teachers. Until now, there was no clearly defined method for communicating. This is the most important advance since men and women started dancing together. Be the Smartest Dancer in Your Group "I have been a huge fan of your method. Thanks so much for early access several years ago." ~ Paul Hughes, ballroom dance instructor Learn the language for partner dancing. This book explains how to communicate every step in every social dance following the three laws of balance, connection, and direction. The method is so simple that the main rules fit on a single sheet of paper which you can learn in an afternoon. You learn to communicate as effortlessly in dancing as you do in speaking. For the first time, you have a clearly defined language so you know what to do without confusion. You only need to learn how to communicate once. You apply the same principles with every person in every dance. You understand more. You learn faster. Your dancing is easier. Learn To Dance Gently "We went somewhere else first, but they just tried to teach us a routine. We like what you are doing so much better. You are teaching us how to dance." ~ Tabitha and Don, new dancers You learn how to dance without the use of force. You learn to dance without pushing and pulling. You learn to dance without the use of tension and pressure. The benefits are transformative. You learn to dance safely. You learn to dance naturally. You learn to dance as one with your partner with more freedom to express yourself. You learn to dance as light as a feather.

This book was planned many years ago. As to the idea running through it, I cannot say when that arose. My feeling is, it was born with me. On reflection, indeed, it seems possible the seeds fell imperceptibly in youth—from F. A. Lange, maybe, and other sources—to germinate unseen in a congenial soil. However that may be, the idea underlies much that I have written. Even the present book began to be written, and to be published in a preliminary form, more than fifteen years ago. Perhaps I may be allowed to seek consolation for my slowness, however vainly, in the saying of Rodin that “slowness is beauty,” and certainly it is the slowest dances that have been to me most beautiful to see, while, in the dance of life, the achievement of a civilisation in beauty seems to be inversely to the rapidity of its pace.Moreover, the book remains incomplete, not merely in the sense that I would desire still to be changing and adding to each chapter, but even incomplete by the absence of many chapters for which I had gathered material, and twenty years ago should have been surprised to find missing. For there are many arts, not among those we conventionally call “fine,” which seem to me fundamental for living. But now I put forth the book as it stands, deliberately, without remorse, well content so to do.Once that would not have been possible. A book must be completed as it had been originally planned, finished, rounded, polished. As a man grows older his ideals change. Thoroughness is often an admirable ideal. But it is an ideal to be adopted with discrimination, having due reference to the nature of the work in hand. An artist, it seems to me now, has not always to finish his work in every detail; by not doing so he may succeed in making the spectator his co-worker, and put into his hands the tool to carry on the work which, as it lies before him, beneath its veil of yet partly unworked material, still stretches into infinity. Where there is most labour there is not always most life, and by doing less, provided only he has known how to do well, the artist may achieve more.

Satan in the Dance Hall explores the overwhelming popularity of social dancing and its close relationship to America's rapidly changing society in the 1920s. The book focuses on the fiercely contested debate over the morality of social dancing in New York City, led by moral reformers and religious leaders like Rev. John Roach Straton. Fed by the firm belief that dancing was the leading cause of immorality in New York, Straton and his followers succeeded in enacting municipal regulations on social dancing and moral conduct within the more than 750 public dance halls in New York City. Ralph G. Giordano conveys an easy to read and full picture of life in the Jazz Age, incorporating important events and personalities such as the Flu Epidemic, the Scopes Monkey Trial, Prohibition, Flappers, Gangsters, Texas Guinan, and Charles Lindbergh, while simultaneously describing how social dancing was a hugely prominent cultural phenomenon, one closely intertwined with nearly every aspect of American society fromthe Great War to the Great Depression. With a bibliography, an index, and over 35 photos, Satan in the Dance Hall presents an interdisciplinary study of social dancing in New York City throughout the decade.