A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.

The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

Oozing with sarcasm and bursting with real-world advice, Big Bad Ass Book of the Zodiac provides the lowdown on your personality, career, friendships, and love life. Separate chapters for each astrological symbol (including those of the Chinese zodiac) make it easy to find the facts...even if you can't handle the truth! From why Aries often "fake it" to what leisure activities a Taurus enjoys (spoiler: saving money), this guide is a slap in the face that's good for you.

I need a new bum! Mine's got a crack. I can see in the mirror a crack in the back. What to do when you need a new bum? Should you get one that's blue or yellow spotted? A Chevy bum, a rocket bum that's all fire and thrust, or a robo-bum? The options are endless - but wait, Dad's bum crack is showing too? Maybe this is contagious.

This diet-guide parody shows "extra furry" cats how to get svelte with kitty-specific versions of popular weight-loss and fitness regimes like the Zone, South Beach, Mayo Clinic, and French Women Don't Get Fat (But Their Cats Do). Americans own more than 86 million cats, and the wild popularity of cat videos--from YouTube to the Internet Cat Video Film Festival--proves that cat-lovers can't get enough kitty humor. This book pokes fun at tubby tabbies--the world's cutest (and surliest) fat creatures--with laugh-out-loud details that will tickle the funnybone of anyone "owned" by a cat. Lampooning trendy weight-loss regimes and health gurus, this book will also make people feel better about their own battle of the bulge in comparison to cats' insatiable appetites and lazy lifestyles. By eating right for their blood type, sourcing raw and living foods, joining Weight Stalkers, avoiding toxic treats, and exercising while lying down, felines of every shape (round) and size (round) will soon be motivated to ditch the fifth serving of Beef Morsels in Gravy for fresh, local options like that vole in the backyard.

A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.

Cheers for the rears, dears! Here is the first book of our all-new series, THE BIG BUTT JOKE SERIES! Featuring 110 jokes that will make you laugh your butt off, this book is absolutely perfect for people who love jokes... and people who love butts! Let's face it: this book is about everyone's favorite part of the body! It's only fair to warn you that this book is intended for adult readers, as it contains mature language. That said, assuming you are an adult, feel more than free to dive right in! You'll discover the answers to jokes such as: What does a butt say about a mildly annoying situation? What does a butt send to another butt in order to communicate something? What is a butt's favorite kind of soup? What did Genius Butt say to Dumb Butt? Plus many, many more! These jokes will surely surprise you!

A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.

Cheers for the rears, dears! Here is the second book of our all-new series, THE BIG BUTT JOKE SERIES! Featuring 110 jokes that will make you laugh your butt off, this book is absolutely perfect for people who love jokes... and people who love butts! Let's face it: this book is about everyone's favorite part of the body! It's only fair to warn you that this book is intended for adult readers, as it contains mature language. That said, assuming you are an adult, feel more than free to dive right in! You'll discover the answers to jokes such as: What did Cautious Butt say to Reckless Butt? What does a butt do when it finally achieves its crappy dream? What kind of dinner do butts eat on Thanksgiving? What day do butts find a bit embarrassing? Plus many, many more! These jokes will surely surprise you!

Funny Adult Word Search Puzzle book - ASSHOLE with 20 puzzles and solutions. Get ready to laugh your ass off when trying to find ASSHOLE and the other funny offensive bad words. This adult themed word search puzzle book makes a hilarious gift for a friend or colleague who has a strong sense of humor. Surprise and shock them in a humoristic offending way and put smiles on their faces. Grab one now, it's better than sending a card! Features Unique design 20 Word Search Puzzles High-quality paper Professionally designed thick cover Perfect for gel, pen, ink, marker or pencils 8.5" x 11" dimensions This Prick Word Search puzzle book is the gift idea for birthdays, anniversaries, graduation, Labor Day, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Secret Santa or any special occasion. This adult word search book makes an hilarious gag gift for yourself or anyone special with a great sense of humor. Grab one now!