This book is intended as counter-evidence to the perception of Linguistics as the domain of dusty schoolroom grammar, where proponents of one theoretical orientation or the other spend their brief breaks in the playground bashing the others over the head with their favorite abstractions. The discipline may appear to outsiders as fragmented and, worse still, lacking in relevance to the real world outside its gates. The purpose is to show that Linguistics, in all its varied branches, can be entertaining as well as thought-provoking, and that its domain is indeed a coherent one despite all the internecine squabbling. The subject is introduced in an unconventional way as a kind of fable with an historical moral that professional linguists, as well as students, should enjoy as a commentary on the state of the discipline today.