My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space

My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space
Author :
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Total Pages : 258
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781429941815
ISBN-13 : 1429941812
Rating : 4/5 (15 Downloads)

Synopsis My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space by : Lisa Scottoline

The incomparable Lisa Scottoline, along with daughter Francesca, is back with more wild and wonderful wit and wisdom: My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space. Critics and readers loved Lisa Scottoline's first collection of true-life stories, which only encouraged her—now she's back with these all-new, exciting adventures. She's farther down the road now, and the scenery has changed—ex-husbands Thing One and Thing Two are in her rear-view mirror, daughter Francesca has moved into an apartment, and Lisa's finding the silver lining in her empty nest, which has lots more room for her shoes. And some things have stayed the same—Mother Mary is still the feistiest octogenarian on the planet, who won't part with her recipe for tomato sauce or her thirty-year old bra. In this book Lisa and Francesca spill all their family secrets—which sound a lot like yours, if you understand that three generations of women is the formula for spontaneous combustion. Inspired by her weekly column entitled, "Chick Wit" for The Philadelphia Inquirer, this is a book you'll have to put down—just to stop laughing.

Meet Me at Emotional Baggage Claim

Meet Me at Emotional Baggage Claim
Author :
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Total Pages : 274
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781250025074
ISBN-13 : 1250025079
Rating : 4/5 (74 Downloads)

Synopsis Meet Me at Emotional Baggage Claim by : Lisa Scottoline

From the bestselling mother/daughter writing duo comes another hilarious collection of essays about motherhood, daughterhood, womanhood, and "does this hood look good on me?" Love and guilt are thick in the Scottoline/Serritella household, and Lisa and Francesca's mother-daughter-turned-best-friends bond will strike a familiar note to many. But now that Lisa is a suburban empty nester and Francesca is an independent twentysomething in the big city, they have to learn how to stay close while living apart. How does a mother's love translate across state lines and over any semblance of personal boundaries? You'll laugh out loud as they face off over the proper technique for packing dishes, the importance of bringing a coat in the summertime, and the dos and don'ts of dating at any age. Add feisty octogenarian Mother Mary to the mix, and you have a Molotov cocktail of estrogen, opinions, and fun. The stories in Meet Me at Emotional Baggage Claim will make you laugh, cry, and call your mother, daughter, and all your girlfriends.

Best Friends, Occasional Enemies

Best Friends, Occasional Enemies
Author :
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Total Pages : 289
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781429995573
ISBN-13 : 1429995572
Rating : 4/5 (73 Downloads)

Synopsis Best Friends, Occasional Enemies by : Lisa Scottoline

From the New York Times bestselling writing team comes a hilarious new collection of essays that observe life from a mother/daughter perspective New York Times bestselling author Lisa Scottoline and her daughter Francesca Serritella are the best of friends—99.9% of the time. They're number one on each other's speed dial and they tell each other everything—well, almost everything. They share shoes and clothes—except one very special green jacket, which almost caused a catfight. In other words, they're just like every mother and daughter in the world. Best friends, and occasional enemies. Now they're dishing about it all—their lives, their relationship, and their carb count. Inspired by their weekly column, "Chick Wit" for The Philadelphia Inquirer, this book is one you'll have to put down—just to stop laughing. Lisa on Being a Mom - Motherhood has no expiration date. Francesca lives in the city, and I worry about her all the time. My daughter moved out, so why am I still lactating? Francesca on Being a Daughter - My mother is always right. Just ask her. Lisa on Things Every Daughter Should Know - Your mother is always thinking about you, but that's not creepy. Your mother will never forget who did you dirty in the sixth grade, for which you can thank her. And your mother will never stop asking you if you need to go to the bathroom, before you leave the house. Well, do you? Francesca on Closet Wars - My mom is a great dresser. Mostly because she's wearing my clothes. Lisa on Aging Gracefully - My sex drive is in reverse, I have more whiskers than my cat, and my estrogen replacement is tequila. Francesca on Apartment Living - When I saw a mouse, the first person I called was Mom. She told me to call my super, but I felt bad bothering him. I hate to bother people. But I love to bother my mother.

Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog

Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog
Author :
Publisher : Macmillan
Total Pages : 324
Release :
ISBN-10 : 0312649436
ISBN-13 : 9780312649432
Rating : 4/5 (36 Downloads)

Synopsis Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog by : Lisa Scottoline

This one's for you, extraordinary ordinary women everywhere It's time for seriously hilarious girl-talk with New York Times bestselling author Lisa Scottoline. She's shared this collection of scenes from her real life, and she bets her life sounds a lot like yours . . . if you crave carbs, can't find jeans that fit, and still believe that these two things are unrelated. Pick up this book--you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll swear off pantyhose. Here are some examples of Lisa's wit and wisdom: "Everybody has their pornography, and mine is the real estate ads." "We'll get universal health care before we get beauty salons open on Mondays, and that's backwards. Ask any woman if she'd rather have a haircut or a mammogram, and you'll see what I mean." "Mothers are a natural force, and maybe an alternative source of fuel." "Lately there's been talk about a religion that allows polygamy, so that a man can have as many wives as he pleases. Where is the religion that allows a woman to have as many husbands as she pleases?" "I have never been in an accident, if you don't count my two marriages." "My mother taught us that if you eat baked beans from a can that has dents, you'll die of botulism. This was before people injected botulism into their faces. Nowadays, the dented can will kill you, but you'll look young." Inspired by her wildly popular column in The Philadelphia Inquirer entitled "Chick Wit," Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog is a book you'll have to put down--just to stop laughing.

Truly Funny Stories Vol. 1

Truly Funny Stories Vol. 1
Author :
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Total Pages : 701
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781250100030
ISBN-13 : 1250100038
Rating : 4/5 (30 Downloads)

Synopsis Truly Funny Stories Vol. 1 by : Lisa Scottoline

The collections from beloved mother-daughter writing duo Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serritella are among the best reviewed humor books published today and have been compared to the late greats, Erma Bombeck and Nora Ephron. Here for the first time in a fabulous eBook bundle are two of their witty and warm collections. Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog This one's for you, extraordinary ordinary women everywhere! Here Lisa Scottoline shares a hilarious collection of scenes from her real life, and she bets her life sounds a lot like yours...if you crave carbs, can't find jeans that fit, and still believe that these two things are unrelated. My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space Lisa and Francesca give their mother-daughter perspective on everything from blind dates to empty calories, as well as life with the feistiest octogenarian on the planet, Mother Mary. Three generations, triple the laughs-and the love.

I Need a Lifeguard Everywhere But the Pool

I Need a Lifeguard Everywhere But the Pool
Author :
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Total Pages : 336
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781250059963
ISBN-13 : 1250059968
Rating : 4/5 (63 Downloads)

Synopsis I Need a Lifeguard Everywhere But the Pool by : Lisa Scottoline

"Lisa and Francesca are back with another collection of warm and witty stories that will strike a chord with every woman. This seven book series is among the best reviewed humor books published today and has been compared to the late greats, Erma Bombeck and Nora Ephron"--

I See Life Through Rosé-Colored Glasses

I See Life Through Rosé-Colored Glasses
Author :
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Total Pages : 349
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781250163059
ISBN-13 : 1250163056
Rating : 4/5 (59 Downloads)

Synopsis I See Life Through Rosé-Colored Glasses by : Lisa Scottoline

"In I See Life Through Rosé-Colored Glasses, the bestselling mother/daughter pair is back with another hilarious and heartfelt collection of essays about the possibilities and pitfalls of everyday life."--

I've Got Sand In All the Wrong Places

I've Got Sand In All the Wrong Places
Author :
Publisher : Macmillan
Total Pages : 317
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781250059956
ISBN-13 : 125005995X
Rating : 4/5 (56 Downloads)

Synopsis I've Got Sand In All the Wrong Places by : Lisa Scottoline

Get ready for some wit, wisdom, and warmth from this new collection by the bestselling duo

Mistaken Identity

Mistaken Identity
Author :
Publisher : HarperTorch
Total Pages : 598
Release :
ISBN-10 : 0061096113
ISBN-13 : 9780061096112
Rating : 4/5 (13 Downloads)

Synopsis Mistaken Identity by : Lisa Scottoline

Nothing can prepare criminal attorney Bennie Rosato for her new client, Alice Connolly, who bears an uncanny physical resemblance to her and tells her, "Pleased to meet you. I'm your twin." But Bennie grew up an only child. She doesn't have a twin. Or does she? Bennie takes on the woman's defense in a murder case and plunges into the mystery of the murder—as well as the secret of her own identity. Not until the verdict is in will she finally learn the truth.

Back in the Swirl

Back in the Swirl
Author :
Publisher : Trafford Publishing
Total Pages : 245
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781466994966
ISBN-13 : 1466994967
Rating : 4/5 (66 Downloads)

Synopsis Back in the Swirl by : Mercedes Kim-Cabrera

On November 4th, 2007, I visited with my best friend to celebrate my birthday. It was a typical warm afternoon in Florida. I was surprisingly complimented with a delectable meal accompanied by Miami staple drink, Mojitos. I sat in the backyard terrace oblivious to all cares of this world, amid good company and laughter when suddenly I felt a lurch in my stomach followed by a piercing sound and the most uncomfortable, fullness sensation in my ears. The nausea wave followed suit and in seconds my celebratory meal and drinks were inevitably expelled in a projectile vomiting episode. The dejavu feeling was overwhelming. My relatives and friends' faces danced in a sort of a burlesque fashion around me. I was spinning violently yet my body rested motionless in my chair. The terrace did not stop gyrating and neither did the faces who danced in an uncontrollable kaleidoscope fashion. As I lay powerless and terrified I realized that I was Back in the Swirl of Meniere!