This is the first book to apply Dr. Ellis's famous Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy principles to intimate relationships. The seven guidelines for better couple communication offered in this user-friendly guide emphasize non-blaming acceptance, integrity, mutual support, appreciation, replacing irrational ideas and expectations with realistic attitudes. An effective resource for couples seeking greater closeness, intimate partners who are willing to make "unilateral" changes, marriage and family therapists -- a breakthrough relationship guide from the father of rational therapy."

Creating a happy, lifelong marriage is about much more than physical compatibility. It's about a lifestyle of 24-7 intimacy that bonds couples in a mutually satisfying relationship. In The Intimate Connection, bestselling marriage expert Dr. Kevin Leman explores key secrets to the love life couples crave. He helps readers - understand each other's needs, backgrounds, and personalities (and how those factors influence every marital interaction) - talk so their spouse really listens - turn negative game-playing into positive behaviors that help couples grow closer - create deep, long-lasting intimacy that's divorce-proof Whether couples are new to marriage or have been married a long time, Dr. Leman's time-tested strategies will create the kind of exciting intimacy, mutual respect, and fulfilling communication that will keep husbands and wives in each other's arms for a lifetime.

"Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together." —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop "Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges." —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection.

A behavioral scientist explores love, belongingness, and fulfillment, focusing on how modern technology can both help and hinder our need to connect. A Next Big Idea Club nominee. Millions of people around the world are not getting the physical, emotional, and intellectual intimacy they crave. Through the wonders of modern technology, we are connecting with more people more often than ever before, but are these connections what we long for? Pandemic isolation has made us even more alone. In Out of Touch, Professor of Psychology Michelle Drouin investigates what she calls our intimacy famine, exploring love, belongingness, and fulfillment and considering why relationships carried out on technological platforms may leave us starving for physical connection. Drouin puts it this way: when most of our interactions are through social media, we are taking tiny hits of dopamine rather than the huge shots of oxytocin that an intimate in-person relationship would provide. Drouin explains that intimacy is not just sex—although of course sex is an important part of intimacy. But how important? Drouin reports on surveys that millennials (perhaps distracted by constant Tinder-swiping) have less sex than previous generations. She discusses pandemic puppies, professional cuddlers, the importance of touch, “desire discrepancy” in marriage, and the value of friendships. Online dating, she suggests, might give users too many options; and the internet facilitates “infidelity-related behaviors.” Some technological advances will help us develop and maintain intimate relationships—our phones, for example, can be bridges to emotional support. Some, on the other hand, might leave us out of touch. Drouin explores both of these possibilities.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

From a two-time nationally award winning sexuality researcher - The Art of Intimate Marriage. God's plan for sexual intimacy in marriage is the work of a Master artist and genuine intimacy is like a beautiful masterpiece. Your marriage is going well but you want to make your sex life better and you’re looking for help on how to do that. You want to know what God has to say about how to build a fulfilling sexual intimacy in your marriage. Your sexual relationship has been full of pain, discouragement, and frustration and you need some answers. You have some medical issues that are making sex difficult and you would like to rekindle experiencing mutually pleasurable sex. For these issues and more, The Art of Intimate Marriage provides direction and guidance on how to get there. Creating that masterpiece may mean learning God’s view of sex, gaining life-giving intimacy skills, and figuring out how to work through conflict in a way that creates deeper connection. It may also mean overcoming things in your background, healing things in your marriage, or dealing with those medical challenges. We have the opportunity to have a deeper understanding of God’s loving heart through being deeply known and erotically bonded with our spouse. The Art of Intimate Marriage gives us a road map to experience growth toward a more rewarding, spiritual sexual relationship.

“A beautifully written and well-researched cultural criticism as well as an honest memoir” (Los Angeles Review of Books) from the author of the popular New York Times essay, “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This,” explores the romantic myths we create and explains how they limit our ability to achieve and sustain intimacy. What really makes love last? Does love ever work the way we say it does in movies and books and Facebook posts? Or does obsessing over those love stories hurt our real-life relationships? When her parents divorced after a twenty-eight year marriage and her own ten-year relationship ended, those were the questions that Mandy Len Catron wanted to answer. In a series of candid, vulnerable, and wise essays that takes a closer look at what it means to love someone, be loved, and how we present our love to the world, “Catron melds science and emotion beautifully into a thoughtful and thought-provoking meditation” (Bookpage). She delves back to 1944, when her grandparents met in a coal mining town in Appalachia, to her own dating life as a professor in Vancouver. She uses biologists’ research into dopamine triggers to ask whether the need to love is an innate human drive. She uses literary theory to show why we prefer certain kinds of love stories. She urges us to question the unwritten scripts we follow in relationships and looks into where those scripts come from. And she tells the story of how she decided to test an experiment that she’d read about—where the goal was to create intimacy between strangers using a list of thirty-six questions—and ended up in the surreal situation of having millions of people following her brand-new relationship. “Perfect fodder for the romantic and the cynic in all of us” (Booklist), How to Fall in Love with Anyone flips the script on love. “Clear-eyed and full of heart, it is mandatory reading for anyone coping with—or curious about—the challenges of contemporary courtship” (The Toronto Star).

A tantric guide to discovering the hidden gifts of menopause • Explains why Tantra works for menopausal women and how their bodies are naturally entering a more tantric phase focused on creative, spiritual energy • Details tantric practices and tools to connect with the body’s inner intuitive wisdom, remove the “performance pressure” of conventional sex, and set the stage for passion and pleasure to thrive both in the bedroom and beyond • Explores what to expect physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and in relationships As women, we live so closely to the body--through menstruation, pregnancy, birthing, motherhood, and then menopause. Each of these transitions changes a woman in a multitude of ways, most of which are celebrated. Yet menopause often causes women to feel despondent, as if our bodies are broken or deficient, especially when it comes to sex and intimacy. However, as tantric teachers Diana Richardson and Janet McGeever show, menopause has many hidden gifts to offer if we learn to embrace rather than suppress the changes this natural transition brings. Shining the light of tantric intelligence on menopause, the authors reveal how to explore and experience menopause in a radically positive fashion, suffused with a sense of vital awakening and “re-wilding” of a woman’s sexuality, creativity, and spirituality. Explaining what to expect physically, emotionally, and spiritually, as well as what it means for relationships, they detail tantric practices and tools to connect with the body’s inner intuitive wisdom and heart energies, remove the “performance pressure” of conventional sex, and set the stage for passion and pleasure to thrive both in the bedroom and beyond. They explain why Tantra works for menopausal women and how their bodies are naturally entering a more tantric phase focused on creative, spiritual energy. They explore how, in Tantra, sex is practiced not for the sake of sex itself but as an instrument for going “beyond” sex, for better health, improved relationships, enhanced self-control and emotional balance, and even higher states of consciousness. They also offer many self-help practices, exercises, and meditations to reinforce a positive attitude toward menopause and overcome many of the physical and sexual problems, such as pain, dryness, loss of interest, and loss of libido. Providing a guide for women who are approaching, experiencing, or have gone through menopause, the authors show how a more informed, tantric approach to menopause allows each woman to deepen her trust in the perfect functioning of the female body, embrace her natural sexual response, and reconnect with her inner self.

A bestseller for over 20 years, I Don’t Want to Talk About It is a groundbreaking and hopeful guide to understanding and destigmatizing male depression, essential not only for men who may be suffering but for the people who love them. Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men—that men hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigma of depression’s “un-manliness.” Problems that we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage—are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children. This groundbreaking book is the “pathway out of darkness” that these men and their families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixes penetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his own experiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and the father of two young sons.