When writer-for-hire Jaine Austen signs on to script vows for the ultimate Bridezilla, "I do's" soon become "I wish I hadn't's"--and curtains for the bride spell a veil of woes for Jaine. . . Jaine's accepted her share of lame gigs to pay the bills, but rewriting Shakespeare's got to be an all-time low. The fiasco begins with a call from Jaine's high-school nemesis, uber rich uber witch Patti Devane. It seems Patti will soon be sashaying down the aisle with another former classmate from Hermosa High, and she'd like the exchange of vows to evoke Romeo and Juliet. . .except without the "downer" of an ending. Even worse than the assignment itself is dealing with Patti as a client. At least Jaine's not alone, as nobody can stand the demanding, spoiled, and incredibly rude Bridezilla from Hell. Patti's managed to rack up an amazingly long list of enemies in a short time, not the least of whom include her prospective mother-in-law, the soon-to-be ex-wife of Patti's stolen soon-to-be groom, and just about everyone involved in the wedding preparations. So it isn't a complete surprise when the erstwhile Juliet plunges to her death during her balcony scene. The loosened bolts that brought down the bride were clearly an act of sabotage--what's not so obvious is whom, among Patti's numerous haters, committed this murder most foul. Was it the caterer she threatened to ruin? The bridesmaid tossed out of the wedding party for being too chubby? Jaine's determined to learn the truth--if only to end the hideous walk down memory lane kicked off by her association with Patti. Between fending off advances from the nerd of her high school nightmares and figuring out ways to stop Prozac the cat from corrupting the victim's pet Poodle, Jaine's involvement in this case keeps veering between comedy and tragedy. That is, until another body is discovered--and the killer starts laying plot for a final act--starring Jaine. . .

Writer-for-hire Jaine Austen signs on to script vows for the ultimate Bridezilla, who wants her wedding to evoke "Romeo and Juliet"--without the downer ending. However, the bride's demise means a tale of woe for Jaine.

When freelance writer Jaine Austen is surprised with an über-luxe spa getaway, she and her feline pal Prozac are eager to hit the road and bask in a week of pampering and pedicures. But what she gets is a California fat farm in disguise, complete with celery-juice cocktails, humiliating weigh-ins, and a zero-tolerance position on carbs. Among her bulge-battling companions is Mallory Francis, a B-list movie star with a knack for making frenemies. When she's found strangled during a seaweed wrap gone awry, Jaine is hard-pressed to think of anyone who couldn't have done it. While the suspects mount faster than her hunger pangs, Jaine's search for truth, justice and contraband calories leads her straight to a cold-blooded killer--where murder may be on the menu once again. . . "Her books are so outrageously funny, they always make me laugh out loud."--Joanne Fluke Praise for Laura Levine's Jaine Austen series "Delightful. . .Jaine's wit shines throughout." --Publishers Weekly on Pampered to Death "If you love a good mystery, this book is for you." --New York Journal of Books on Death of a Trophy Wife "This will turn out to be a long series. . .likely to be compared to Janet Evanovich for its humor." --I Love a Mystery on This Pen for Hire

Includes an excerpt from Murder Gets a Makeover.

Reprinted Edition "I'm crazy about Laura Levine's mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny." --Joanne Fluke When Jaine Austen's beloved cat Prozac unwittingly scares to death a parakeet belonging to the neighborhood's resident curmudgeon, Jaine finds herself knee-deep in toil and trouble. The cantankerous Hollywood has-been once played Cryptessa Muldoon, television's fourth most famous monster mom. Now she spends her days making enemies with everyone on the block. So when the ornery D-lister is murdered with her own Do Not Trespass sign on Halloween night, the neighborhood fills with relief--and possible culprits. With a killer on the loose, Jaine hardly has time to fall under the spell of her yummy new neighbor, Peter. As the prime suspect, she summons her sleuthing skills to clear her name and soon discovers that everyone has a few skeletons in their closets. . . "Levine's latest finds her at her witty and wacky best." --Kirkus Reviews "Cozy fans will enjoy seeing how Jaine wiggles out of this one." --Publishers Weekly

"When Jaine lands a job writing web copy and brochures for matchmaker Joy Amoroso, she's excited for a chance to help the lovelorn--until she realizes Joy is a ruthless taskmaster who screams at her employees for the smallest infractions, pads her website with pictures of professional models posing as clients, and offers up convincing but empty promises of love. So it's no surprise when the chiseling cupid turns up dead at a Valentines Day mixer. Now, finding the culprit may prove harder than spotting that elusive caramel praline in a box of chocolates..."--Back cover.

The author of Killing Cupid “again provides fans of this splendidly witty mystery series another comical romp” (Fresh Fiction). For freelance writer Jaine Austen, working behind the scenes at a teen beauty pageant has shown her that sometimes beauty is in the eye of the murderer . . . Teen contestant Taylor Van Sant has a talent for singing, but she can’t write a song. So her über-pushy stage mom Heather has hired Jaine to pen lyrics the judges will love. Unfortunately, the hotel hosting Miss Teen Queen America is a dump, the cattiness is out of control, and Candace—the perfectly-coiffed, whip-cracking pageant director—is making even Jaine’s life miserable. When Candace’s assistant is found bludgeoned to death with a silver tiara, there are more suspects than sequins on a pageant gown—and Heather is first on the list. Taylor begs Jaine to help clear her mom’s name, but finding the culprit is going to be trickier than walking the stage in stilettos . . . Praise for the Jaine Austen mysteries “I’m crazy about Laura Levine’s mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny.” —Joanne Fluke, New York Times bestselling author “Laura Levine’s hilarious debut mystery, This Pen for Hire, is a laugh a page (or two or three) as well as a crafty puzzle. Sleuth Jaine Austen’s amused take on life, love, sex and LA will delight readers. Sheer fun!” —Carolyn Hart, New York Times bestselling author “Jaine can really dish it out.” —The New York Times Book Review “Fun. Jaine’s dogged sleuthing and screwball antics will entertain fans of this fizzy series.” —Publishers Weekly

Wisecracking pen-for-hire Jaine Austen is back--and she's about to discover that working on the set of a Hollywood sitcom is no laughing matter. . . Jaine still hasn't found a good man--or a way to keep all those sugary snacks from going straight to her hips. But--with a little help from her best friend Kandi--she's finally landed a gig as a sitcom writer! True, Muffy 'n Me (aka "Bewitched with Tits") isn't going to win any Emmys. And her office at Miracle Studios needs a little sprucing up, and a few dozen rat traps. But it sure beats writing boring brochures and bad resumes, so Jaine's not complaining. Until the plot thickens--with murder. . . Jaine figures the trouble all started when Muffy 'n Me's hottest star, gorgeous Quinn Kirkland, seduced the head writer--whose husband also works on the show. But when Quinn's caught in bed with the barely-legal actress who plays his niece, things really heat up--and his many jealous girlfriends start to figure things out. . . So when the no-good heartthrob drops dead after nibbling a poisoned doughnut, Jaine isn't terribly surprised. But who could have done it? A competitive co-star and a couple of scorned lovers top Jaine's list of suspects, but the police have zeroed in on her man-crazy pal Kandi. She fell hard for Quinn--and nearly fell apart when she learned of all his other women. Now Jaine has to figure out who finally stopped Quinn's cheatin' heart--before her best friend ends up behind bars. . .

Without a job or a date in sight, freelance writer Jaine Austen is equally out of luck in finance and romance. So when her friend Lance offers to treat her to brunch at the Four Seasons, Jaine leaps at the invite. They've barely made it through the menu when Lance spots his friend Bunny, who is the new trophy wife of mattress maven Marvin Cooper. When Bunny generously offers Jaine a gig writing Marv's new advertising campaign, Jaine accepts the job, and an invitation to her upcoming soirée. But at the party Bunny cruelly rules the Cooper mansion and before the evening is over, someone poisons Bunny. The police arrest Lance, but Jaine knows his murderous urges end at her closet door. Setting out to clear his name, she soon discovers a list of suspects longer than Bunny's credit card bill. . . "Zany. . .series fans will find Jaine as funny as ever." --Publishers Weekly "If you love a good mystery, this book is for you." --New York Journal of Books

While teaching on a swanky cruise, wordsmith Jaine Austen soon discovers that her all-expenses-paid trip to the Mexican Riviera comes with a high price when she is faced with blackmail, a sleazy British dancer, eccentric passengers, and murder.