The New York Times bestselling author of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Assholes Finish First delivers a new collection of thirty 100% true, 100% exclusive stories of comically perverse excess. Another installment in Tucker Max's series of stories about his drunken debauchery and ridiculous antics. What began as a simple sentence on an obscure website, “My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole,” and developed into two infamously genre-defining books, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and Assholes Finish First, ends here. But as you should expect from Tucker by now, he is going out with a bang—literally and figuratively. In this book, you’ll learn: * How to live and work in Cancun, while still enrolled in Law School * Why Halloween is really awesome * How to subtly torture a highstrung roommate until he explodes with furious anger over a misplaced condiment * What really happened when a dirty pageant girl tried to sue Tucker because he told the truth * Why you should never accept a homemade treat from a hippie with a van As we've come to learn from Tucker, assholes do finish first...but everything comes with a price.

The “highly entertaining and thoroughly reprehensible” #1 New York Times bestseller—now with sixteen pages of photos and a new introduction (The New York Times). My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. --from the Introduction Actual reader feedback: "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don’t believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I’ll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You’re an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."

Presents a new collection of alcohol-induced "fratire" adventures in hedonism that convey the author's experiences of being intoxicated at inappropriate times, seducing a large number of women, and otherwise living in complete disregard of social norms.

“The four chapters of this easy reader zip right along with a straightforward, breezy plot and two charming, mischievous mice leading the way.” — Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books Fergus loves being the class pet. When the teacher plans a field trip to a museum, Fergus doesn’t want to miss the fun, so he stows away in a backpack and sets off for an adventure. The museum is a little overwhelming — huge and full of exciting things to see. Luckily, Fergus meets a new friend, Zeke, who knows the ropes, and together they explore everything from moon rocks to butterflies to a giant dinosaur skeleton. But when it’s time for the bus to leave, will Fergus make it back to school to take his place as class pet once more?

Tucker Max's books-I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Assholes Finish First, and Hilarity Ensues-are a uniquely engaging trilogy composed of his best, craziest stories. They've sold millions of copies to fans all over the world. Their success has meant his success. As a thank you to those who have loved the stories and supported him for so long, Tucker has gone back through his massive archive of material one last time, culled out what you might call the "best of the rest," and arranged it here, in Sloppy Seconds, like a book version of Deleted Scenes. Unlike most deleted scenes, however, these don't suck. So enjoy.

From the author of The Date to Save and It's Not Me, It's You comes a new novel about what happens when a rumor about a breakup is more interesting than the truth! "For fans of Mean Girls and other high school comedies." - Kirkus Reviews"Plenty of hyperbole provides copious amounts of laughter. Give this to readers who crave something light and humorous." - BooklistWhat did you hear?Kimberly Landis-Lilley and Teddy Lin are over. Yes, the Kim and Teddy broke up.At least that's what Phil Spooner thinks he overheard and then told Jess Howard, Kim's best friend. Something about Teddy not liking Kim's Instas? Or was it that Teddy is moving to Italy and didn't want to do long distance? Or that Kim slid into someone else's DMs?Jess told her boyfriend, Elvis, that he needs to be on Kim's side. Especially if he wants to keep her as his girlfriend. But Elvis is also Teddy's best friend.Now, Kim's run out of school for the day. Jess is furious. Elvis is confused. And half the lunch period won't talk to Teddy. Even the teachers have taken sides.William Henry Harrison High will never be the same again!

The #1 bestselling pioneer of "fratire" and a leading evolutionary psychologist team up to create the dating book for guys. Whether they conducted their research in life or in the lab, experts Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller have spent the last 20+ years learning what women really want from their men, why they want it, and how men can deliver those qualities. The short answer: become the best version of yourself possible, then show it off. It sounds simple, but it's not. If it were, Tinder would just be the stuff you use to start a fire. Becoming your best self requires honesty, self-awareness, hard work and a little help. Through their website and podcasts, Max and Miller have already helped over one million guys take their first steps toward Ms. Right. They have collected all of their findings in Mate, an evidence-driven, seriously funny playbook that will teach you to become a more sexually attractive and romantically successful man, the right way: No "seduction techniques," No moralizing, No bullshit. Just honest, straightforward talk about the most ethical, effective way to pursue the win-win relationships you want with the women who are best for you. Much of what they've discovered will surprise you, some of it will not, but all of it is important and often misunderstood. So listen up, and stop being stupid!

Cora promises to keep Uncle JB’s Bread Pet alive but didn’t anticipate its exponential growth! She needs to come up with a solution -- and fast! This whimsical STEM story of family, creativity and community will inspire young makers to experiment and share their gifts with others. Includes recipes for sourdough starter and sourdough bread.

Delta of Dead River sets out to rescue her family from a ruthless dictator rising to power in the Wastes and discovers a secret that will reshape her world in this postapocalyptic Western mashup for fans of Mad Max and Gunslinger Girl. Delta of Dead River has always been told to hide her back, where a map is branded on her skin to a rumored paradise called the Verdant. In a wasteland plagued by dust squalls, geomagnetic storms, and solar flares, many would kill for it--even if no one can read it. So when raiders sent by a man known as the General attack her village, Delta suspects he is searching for her. Delta sets out to rescue her family but quickly learns that in the Wastes no one can be trusted--perhaps not even her childhood friend, Asher, who has been missing for nearly a decade. If Delta can trust Asher, she just might decode the map and trade evidence of the Verdant to the General for her family. What Delta doesn't count on is what waits at the Verdant: a long-forgotten secret that will shake the foundation of her entire world.

Welcome to the world of Engrish, which finds its greatest expression in Japanese and Chinese signs, products, manuals, T-shirts and restaurant menus. Now a cultural phenomenon that has taken the world by storm, Engrish consists of curious misspellings, doubtful abbreviations and jarring word-for-word translations. Fancy a Pocari Sweat soft drink or a Collon chocolate bar? Or perhaps you need some of that Horny face cream? The Joys of Engrish is a hugely entertaining collection of the funniest and most bizarre examples of this delightful alternate-reality version of the English language. Please make sure you enjoy your pleasant with vigor!