Brother Hermitage's Christmas Gift

Brother Hermitage's Christmas Gift
Author :
Publisher : The Funny Book Company
Total Pages : 120
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781999895907
ISBN-13 : 1999895908
Rating : 4/5 (07 Downloads)

Synopsis Brother Hermitage's Christmas Gift by : Howard of Warwick

In a modest little tale for the season, Brother Hermitage heads for London. William Duke of Normandy is to be crowned King of England on Christmas day 1066 and he expects presents. For reasons beyond reason, the monastery of De'Ath's Dingle is invited to the ceremony and the only ones who can be let out on their own are Brother Hermitage and Wat the Weaver. But it will be a rush to get there. With only 7 days to travel over 100 miles, the pair must cross a frozen and largely lawless country if they are to make it to Westminster alive. And then there's the problem of Wat's attitude towards gifts in principle. He doesn't mind a reasonable exchange but simply giving sounds like a very poor deal. Perhaps the days of the journey will give Brother Hermitage the opportunity to breathe the spirit of the season into his weaving friend. Or perhaps not. Recent reviews for Howard of Warwick continue a theme: 5* "Very funny" 5* "Another demented tale" 5* "Briiiiiliant as always."

The Domesday Book (Still Not That One)

The Domesday Book (Still Not That One)
Author :
Publisher : The Funny Book Company
Total Pages : 223
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781999895938
ISBN-13 : 1999895932
Rating : 4/5 (38 Downloads)

Synopsis The Domesday Book (Still Not That One) by : Howard of Warwick

On the coat tails of the best-selling Domesday Book (No Not That One), someone has let out volume II of William’s Adventures in England. As if one book of this sort of thing wasn't enough... It's history, but not as we know it. England, 1067-ish and the King’s grip is tight. His Earls of Northumbria will keep dying though. Every time he appoints one, someone sticks something in them, or sets light to them. Something is going on and he has a strong suspicion who's behind it. If he's right, it could mean real trouble. In Viking Vinland, the man who would be king awaits rescue - and waits. If no one else is going to do it, he will just have to rescue himself. There's only a bit of sea to cross, he will sail home and take his throne by force. Although he might need a bit of help. And then there are the Danes and the Scots who have their own ideas. If Volume I is anything to go by, this situation is a recipe for disaster. And if you’ve got the recipe, you might as well make a disaster. The text books would have you believe that everything in the past was carefully planned and organised. That the leaders of the time were clear in their aims and decisive in their actions. That the people knew what great events they were living through. No one made mistakes, no one incompetent ever got to be in charge and above all, no one ever had a laugh. All that changed with Howard of Warwick. The 16th book to do things to history that it never asked for, returns to the aftermath of the most famous date ever. 1066. Well, the year after actually, no one ever talks about that - and with good reason, it was chaos. Caution: contains facts. What they said of The Domesday Book (No, Not That One) ‘Had me chuckling the whole way through,’ Discovering Diamonds. 5* ‘Brilliantly humorous,’ 5* ‘A laugh riot,

The 1066 From Normandy

The 1066 From Normandy
Author :
Publisher : The Funny Book Company
Total Pages : 221
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781913383008
ISBN-13 : 1913383008
Rating : 4/5 (08 Downloads)

Synopsis The 1066 From Normandy by : Howard of Warwick

Death and taxes... with extra death. Yet more medieval detective-sort-of-thing from the best selling author... Brother Hermitage, the King’s most medieval investigator, is about to discover the true meaning of the Norman Conquest; money. It’s all very well Saxons fighting William on the battlefield and trying to kill him, but evading his taxes is simply beyond the pale. Something must be done about it. And who better to do something about things than his own investigator? The first problem is that the King’s Investigator doesn’t understand what it is. But then not understanding things has never held him back in the past. If tax evasion is a bad thing - which William assures him it is - then the people who do it are positively revolting. Hermitage has dealt with deceit, dishonesty and deception in the past, but he’s never met people who have made it their life’s work. Needless to say, Wat and Cwen the weavers are dragged into this, quite literally, and Wat seems to know rather too much about dodging tax. And then, of course, the bodies start piling up. Death and taxes, eh? Who’d have thought… Brother Hermitage’s 16th adventure, and Howard of Warwick’s 21st attempt at synchronised scribbling simply reveals more of the same: 5* “Hurrahs for the ole goofy gang! Another terrifically funny adventure” 5* “Hilarious” 5* “More hilarity” "very good indeed, brilliant," BBC Coventry and Warwick

The Bayeux Embroidery

The Bayeux Embroidery
Author :
Publisher : The Funny Book Company
Total Pages : 261
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781999895983
ISBN-13 : 1999895983
Rating : 4/5 (83 Downloads)

Synopsis The Bayeux Embroidery by : Howard of Warwick

The Bayeux Tapestry is no laughing matter. Well, apart from the rude bits, obviously. The nuns of Kent have been commissioned by Earl Odo to create a great tapestry telling the glorious history of the Norman conquest of Britain. But when they start dying, one man must be sent for; Brother Hermitage, the King’s Investigator. Who would commit such a heinous crime? Odo himself? Another nun, perhaps? Some Saxons? The Archbishop of Canterbury? The people of the marshes? Well, it could be anyone really, and that’s generally a problem for Brother Hermitage. With Wat and Cwen, erstwhile weavers of “adult” tapestry themselves, he must solve the crime or face the consequences; as usual. The best plan is probably to wander around Kent rather hopelessly, and trust that something occurs to him right at the end; also as usual. At least in this tale the truth of the Bayeux Tapestry will be revealed: (well, a truth, perhaps) How did it come to be? Who made it? And who thinks that they should have been given the job instead? It’s the lucky 13th Chronicle of Brother Hermitage The man who barely survives his own investigations. The sleuth who seldom asks anyone the right questions. The monk who is firmly medieval and slightly detective. People have said things: ‘Hilarious’ ‘Laugh out loud’ ‘Like Pratchett does 1066’

The Case of The Cantankerous Carcass

The Case of The Cantankerous Carcass
Author :
Publisher : The Funny Book Company
Total Pages : 270
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781913383336
ISBN-13 : 1913383334
Rating : 4/5 (36 Downloads)

Synopsis The Case of The Cantankerous Carcass by : Howard of Warwick

How is a medieval monk supposed to investigate a death if the corpse keeps complaining all the time? Once more Brother Hermitage toils to avoid his duties as King's Investigator, and fails miserably. But this time it's personal. When his beloved old Abbot arrives at Wat the Weaver's workshop asking for his aid, Hermitage cannot refuse. He only has one beloved old Abbot, after all. But this one comes with a web made by specially tangled spiders. There are Normans involved of course, so far so normal. Add a monastery that no monk of sense would go anywhere near and a village of pagans whose answer to every problem is to set light to it and Brother Hermitage is out of his depth almost immediately. Wat and Cwen the weavers bring some common sense to the situation, but there isn't much of that to begin with. It's medieval crime with all of the normal human failings - and a few new ones as well. People laugh out loud at Howard of Warwick. 5* "I laughed out loud." "Hilarious and very funny." "This series just gets better and better."

The Hermes Parchment

The Hermes Parchment
Author :
Publisher : The Funny Book Company
Total Pages : 278
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781913383459
ISBN-13 : 1913383458
Rating : 4/5 (59 Downloads)

Synopsis The Hermes Parchment by : Howard of Warwick

Where goes the King’s Investigator, there goes death; by murder, usually. The author of the Best Selling The Heretics of De'Ath and other tales too numerous to be polite, does not know when to stop. Despite his protestations that disaster is inevitable, Brother Hermitage travels to Lincoln to sort out a library. It’s the task of his dreams, even if he’s reasonably confident that someone will get murdered in the process. And there are several candidates. One of those troublesome Norman soldiers in the tavern? The king’s tenant-in-chief, Lord Colesvain, who has just forced the whole town to build his house for him? Colesvain’s objectionable son, Picot, who has a rather unhealthy interest in “illustrated” literature? But a library should be safe enough; apart from the librarian obsessed with books on sorcery and magic, obviously. Delving in the bottom of a box of books delivered from a long-lost monastery, Hermitage discovers the great Hermes Parchment and the whole world goes mad. Hermitage, Wat and Cwen become embroiled in events that were pretty embroiled to begin with.There are wise men of the woods who turn out to be no such thing, and suggestions of an evil secret hidden in the parchment’s pages just waiting to be released. And a dead body turns up. Just as Hermitage said it would. Told you so. It’s yet another outing for the world’s most medieval detective. "very good indeed, brilliant," BBC Coventry and Warwick 5* Hilarious 5* Like Pratchett does 1066 5* Laugh out loud with a good mystery. 1* Stupid

A Murder for Master Wat

A Murder for Master Wat
Author :
Publisher : The Funny Book Company
Total Pages : 259
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781999895921
ISBN-13 : 1999895924
Rating : 4/5 (21 Downloads)

Synopsis A Murder for Master Wat by : Howard of Warwick

COMEDY; MEDIEVAL,CRIME. File under Howard of Warwick. (He invented the genre and must be held accountable). When weavers in the 11th century went out to play there was usually trouble. In this case, it's death, which Brother Hermitage, the King's Investigator, always finds very troublesome indeed. Wat the Weaver doesn't want to go to the weavers' Grand Moot in the first place and no one can make him. Except Mistress Cwen, of course. When they get there it all starts so well, but it only takes the blink of a bat's ear for murder to rear its ugly head and stare straight at Hermitage. He's starting to think that being King's Investigator is actually a cause of death in its own right. But this time, the perpetrators seem quite proud of their actions and have a lot more planned. Is this a race to stop a murder, rather than deal with all the mess afterwards? Hermitage certainly hopes so, although, as usual, he'd rather the whole thing just went away. A Grand Moot of weavers should be a time of joy, celebration and camaraderie, not greed, violence and a generous serving of just plain stupidity. Howard of Warwick invented Medieval Crime Comedy and doesn't know any better; 5* Hilarious 5* Laugh out Loud 5* Very silly 1* Silly (apparently "very" is worth 4*)

Not Another Murder

Not Another Murder
Author :
Publisher : The Funny Book Company
Total Pages : 243
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781913383640
ISBN-13 : 1913383644
Rating : 4/5 (40 Downloads)

Synopsis Not Another Murder by : Howard of Warwick

Not Another Murder. A question? A statement? Or the despairing sigh of a monk convinced that Death's scythe must have caught in his habit? Escape from Gernesey and a return to Derby is on everyone's mind, but events have spotted Brother Hermitage, and they're up to their usual tricks. This time, they've put him in a priory. What could be better? And what could possibly go wrong? The cloistered life has called him back and so all will be well. There will be no murder here, even though he's the King's Investigator. No one will die, ignoring the deaths that seem to follow him around. And anyway, this is only temporary. There won't be time for anything untoward to happen. Brother Hermitage hasn't been reading his own chronicles, has he? While Wat and Cwen try to make the best of things and work out who to bribe to get out of this place, Hermitage doesn't even make it through the first night before the body turns up. How it was done is a complete mystery, never mind why. And there is certainly something odd about this priory and its monks, who don't seem at all concerned that one of them is now dead. But a route off the island quickly opens up before them, and so there might not be time to solve some murder. With any luck, they'll be miles away before long. All they need is some money; considerably more money than they currently have. That priory seemed to have a lot of treasure... Embark on Chronicle number thirty-two, and your mind will be filled with wonder. (Wondering why, mainly.)

No Murder Here

No Murder Here
Author :
Publisher : The Funny Book Company
Total Pages : 278
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781913383626
ISBN-13 : 1913383628
Rating : 4/5 (26 Downloads)

Synopsis No Murder Here by : Howard of Warwick

5* Absolutely brilliant, as always. 5* So well written, so entertaining and amusing. 5* A great read from start to finish There is no murder here. And even if there was, under no circumstances is Brother Hermitage, King William’s investigator, to be allowed anywhere near it. This is a very sensitive matter for the Duke of Normandy, now King of England, and he wants it dealt with properly. He doesn’t want a band of Saxon idiots trampling all over the place, offending everyone. But, in a far-off outpost of the duchy, an ancient ritual has been enacted, which immediately went horribly wrong. Someone must be sent to find out what happened and who is behind it. Negotiating the way through scheming and feuding locals will demand sensitivity. Untangling superstition from fact will require careful analysis. Appreciating custom and practice will need a sympathetic ear. And you’ll need to speak the right language, obviously. So, this is really not a job for Brother Hermitage. It’s probably even more inappropriate for the weavers, Wat and Cwen - the woman who stares at people and the man who made those disgusting pictures. Keep them away. However, the more explicit the instruction, the greater the chance of mistake… In any case, there is no murder here. Oh, really?

The Heretics of De'Ath

The Heretics of De'Ath
Author :
Publisher : The Funny Book Company
Total Pages : 253
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781913383282
ISBN-13 : 1913383288
Rating : 4/5 (82 Downloads)

Synopsis The Heretics of De'Ath by : Howard of Warwick

Medieval mystery for people who laugh starts here.... England's most famous date 1066: At the monastery of De'Ath's Dingle, during a completely pointless theological debate, there is a mysterious death. Routine business for the average investigative medieval monk. Unfortunately, this isn’t a tale of average monks. Anyone who would put the idiot Brother Simon in charge of a murder investigation is either one chant short of a plainsong or is up to something. When Brother Hermitage, innocent in every way, including bystanding, is lined up for execution, he begins to wonder if something might be going on. Perhaps his new companion Wat, weaver of pornographic tapestry, can figure out what it is. Before it's too late. If you are a lover of the historical detective genre, if you have a deep respect for the worlds created, don’t read this book. It’ll only upset you. Now available in a massive box set with The Garderobe of Death and The Tapestry of Death; for those with a lever-arch Kindle. People have commented on the whole sorry business: 5* Such a good writer, it's a whole new slant on medieval mystery. The truth is out there, sort of! Always makes me laugh, love these books, love this author. More please as soon as possible, just keep writing... 5* Like Cadfael meets Clouseau. 5* The usual mayhem, confusion, murder and laughs! 5* Always makes me laugh, love these books, love this author. 1* Stupid! Be warned, there are now 31 Chronicles of Brother Hermitage